SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

[This message edited by tulipcitymadman at 8:41 PM, October 20th (Wednesday)]

tulipcitymadman,

Question, are your kids old enough to talk to the judge/arbitrator about what they want to do and is that a possibility?

I know someone who's WW was also doing it wholesale and it was his 17yr DS who told him what his mother was up too.

They went to court and the two oldest (17 and 15) went with him and they had shared custody of the 11yr.

If you have a log of all the times she's walked away to pursue her own interest and time with the OM versus all the times you have given up your time to be with them did your attorney say that it wouldn't matter, even if the kids spoke with the judge and asked to be with you?

I was just wondering if that was even an option of you.

Sorry to hear you even have to investigate this as an option

TCMM, you have all of my support and well wishes - you are doing such a great job, hang in there.

In my state, MA, it is 50/50 also unless something is going terribly wrong (and unfortunately, in the eyes of the court, what your STBX is doing is just fine by them) and so that would mean that you can ask for and expect 50/50 for your bio children and that the court wouldn't separate their brother from them especially as you've been providing stability for him and have been his step father. I'm sure this would be different if his bio father were petitioning for time, but that's not happening, right? If I've read correctly, you live in the family home now but are you thinking you may lose it to her or is she headed to trailer? Staying in the children's school district is very important to the court, although my XWH who got 50 % custody has to stay within 10 miles of the school, meaning he can move to a cheaper town and drive them to school, without violating the custody order. Is your lawyer outlining what will happen to you or will you be able to talk to the lawyer about how you can have at least 50/50 (if not more)?

BTW, I am a teacher and I think you are doing a great job relating to your son about therapy. He will need you to fight for him.

Don't fold TCMM!!! Go for 50/50, if not more. You have the documentation, you are in the right. Even if you "just" get custody of the girls, I'm willing to bet you will see a ton of your son being dropped off with them....having him around full time will cramp her style. Please, fight for at least 50/50 for the kids sake.

JOINT CUSTODY IN MICHIGAN

In 1979, a group of concerned citizens including lawyers, parents, mental health professionals and others began meeting in Lansing to consider alternative methods of dispute resolution in child custody cases. These discussions centered on the benefits and disadvantages of joint custody in the State of Michigan. The results of these efforts led to the passage of Michigan’s “joint custody” law which took immediate effect on January 14, 1981.

Most states now have legislation declaring that in custody determinations, the rights of the parents are to be equal. Michigan adopted this approach and abandoned the “tender years” presumption with the passage of the Child Custody Act of 1970.13 In Michigan, custody is to be determined in accordance with the child’s best interests Among the provisions of the Child Custody Act of 1970 is a list of eleven factors to be considered in determining what is in the child’s best interests.

I'm not at all sure why you're presuming that your soon to be ex-wife will be granted sole custody giving you the occasional weekend. Michigan is actually one of the better states for joint custody. Is your lawyer telling you these "facts"?

Considering your wife's damn near neglectful child rearing plus the fact that she has the morals of a garden slug why would a court give her sole custody?

And I really don't think the fact that she "likes her long legs" is going to carry much weight in court.

I live in Michigan. My divorce from ExWH was 10 years ago and we had 50/50 physical and legal custody. A week with mom followed by a week with dad.

What is your lawyer saying?

Ciao

I'm sorry you're having such an awful time.

FWIW, I know a father in Michigan who also has more than 50/50 custody primarily because the kid doesn't fit into XW new lifestyle.

I would check with your lawyer. I'm sorry to say it seems like your WW is just selfish enough to not want primary custody in order to maintain her lifestyle.

[This message edited by tulipcitymadman at 8:42 PM, October 20th (Wednesday)]

Wow, what a horrible person to say all that in front of children (let alone her own children).

You still carrying around a VAR? Did it happen to catch all that? Might be worth having your son write out what happened, so it can be presented to a judge at some point.

And by "crying to your Internet buddies"...I assume she is checking SI, then? Or do you have other people on the Internet that you talk to that she might know about?

you never took care of you body and I always got yeast infections from you

Dude...wash your dick every once in a while. :-)

Sorry, but that just made me LOL. What the fuck must have been going through her head to scream that? I cannot even begin to fathom it.

Edited to add: And on top of it all, she said all this shit while getting ready to go to church!!!! Epic fail.

[This message edited by glasvegas at 12:38 PM, September 12th (Sunday)]

you need to find a moment to take your son aside and let him talk and vent. this is so unfair to him to witness this.

let him know that you never want him to be in them middle.

i don't know here and i don't like her. what a shrew!

She is the Heinz 57 of Krazy....

I was wondering when she was going to blow her top.

I feel for you and your kids TCMM. She's nuts.

Oh TCMM, a true basket case that WW of yours. I can not believe she did all of that in front of the kids ... AND on her way to church ... unfuckingbelievable!

I guess she has to go to church so they can pay for her counseling, you know.

I feel for you and look for the day when you can come on here and give us a "Diver Down 3 ... I'm finally rid of the Ninja Bitch!!"

TCMM - I don't have anything specific to say other than that I'm thinking about you tonight. I hope the Ninja-bitch did her disappearing act and left you in peace the rest of the day.

TCMM,

I'm sorry you have to live with trash like that. To think she goes to church...for what...OMG she is committing adultery!!! Who the hell does she think she is? Bless her heart, her family doesn't get along with her....she's a f###@@@ crazy bitch.

TCMM, I really don't have much to say about your day...except...WOW! So hard on the kids..makes me sad!

Just know, that we all have your back here...lots of support and prayers going out for you and your kids! Keep strong and know, that, they say horrible things that really don't mean anything...just a way to try to make you feel as bad as they must be feeling...

Sorry, once again for all your crazy happenings....{{{{{TCMM}}}}}

Hi TCMM, just wanted to say hang in there....I know that lately in life (I'm past your stage but still dealing with the fallout with the kids) that when things are so bad, I'm trying so hard, and it's so hard for the kids that at some point things either go my way or that the kids understand the mess and get some hope or help or I get some real obvious message to keep on trying so that some of this can happen. Don't get me wrong - things aren't magically better, but I'm able to see that life goes on the best it can and I'm able to help the kids through the moment. I don't mean to sound wierd or religious, but continually trying to do the right thing even when we doubt that it is enough and if we are able keep trying - this does seem to help. If we didn't do this, what else would there be I guess? Don't lose hope. You sound so much like you so love your kids and just want things to be ok - no matter if the ninja twirls outta there or truely changes heart. You sound strong enough to be able to do this!

[This message edited by tulipcitymadman at 8:42 PM, October 20th (Wednesday)]

Wow. She claims that she's the one there for the kids?

Delude herself much?

Keep your records.

How many months left?

Please keep multiple copies of that texting coversation... In fact, send it to your lawyer for filing. I know you are dealing with containing your own anger, but you did really good with that text conversation. Proud of you!!!

Since she likes to text I would think that would be a great time to get her mad and admit to a few rotten sleezy manipulative things she is doing. Just a thought.