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Off Topic :
Why do people hate millennials?

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CaliforniaNative ( member #60149) posted at 2:13 AM on Monday, December 10th, 2018

So I don’t hate millennials, they actually make me laugh. I work along side many of them. While everyone is differerent, here is an example of the entitlement thing- Several coworkers go to the gym 2-4 times a week but eat whatever they want - In and Out, Popeyes Chicken and Frappuccinos. They wonder why they are not losing any weight. I tell them they need to reduce their carbs to 40 or less per week. I suggest their focus should be primarily on diet when they're trying to lose weight. Their response is “I can never do that!” A few tried Keto and give up after a week. They honestly think if the do some exercise during the week they should look fit. “Goals AF”... right?

Others say millennials do not have manners. I don’t see that as much, twenty-ish year old guys do hold opens doors for me and say please. Maybe it’s because millennials “Clap back” lol

[This message edited by CaliforniaNative at 8:15 PM, December 9th (Sunday)]

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latebloomer45 ( member #18021) posted at 11:53 AM on Monday, December 10th, 2018

Ah, then, with that explanation, I think my kids are NOT doing #7. At all. Spent a decade in Texas and are still more likely than most to say "Yes ma'am" or "Yes sir". They speak AND act respectfully to people at first. But, kid number 2 was only 12 when the day that we don't discuss on here happened. That was December. The Father's day card the following June from this kid basically said "YOU MESSED UP. YOU WILL NOT BE GETTING A THIRD CHANCE". TO THIS DAY my H thinks I was behind that card. All I had to do with it was driving him to Walgreen's to buy it. Never saw it myself until Father's Day. H actually tried to use "honor thy father and mother" on the kid. Kid DID clap back with "thou shalt not commit adultery". I have no issues with the "lack of respect" going on just then. Of course they are fine now, but just like me, it took them a while to forgive.

But back to that employee...surely, he'll lose job after job with that bullshit and eventually wake up? It seems impossible to maintain that crappy attitude and survive.

Me: BS 56
Him: FWS 58
Married 32 years
Son-26 Daughter (Who Came out as trans, so now Son)-23,
D-Day #1 12/11/2007
D-Day #2 5/23/2008 fucking trickle truth!
Whatever Threnody said, I concur.

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pureheartkit ( member #62345) posted at 3:38 PM on Tuesday, December 11th, 2018

Merry Christmas Millenials! Find your way and shine!

[This message edited by pureheartkit at 10:09 AM, December 11th (Tuesday)]

Thank you everyone for your wisdom and healing.

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pureheartkit ( member #62345) posted at 4:02 PM on Tuesday, December 11th, 2018

I don't hate millennials. They can be optimistic and problem solving. Is the workplace unfriendly to people? Yes, it is. But I heard my grandparents ( WWII ) generation well. Things were different then. Yes, you worked hard but one person could support a household leaving the other free to handle the many other responsibilities. Young people could get a house or build their own and start a family in their youth. People didn't have to work two jobs and still fear an illness because they had no health care.

The time has come when technology can easily allow people to work 20- 30 hours and have a place to live and good food and a quality education for their kids. This is entirely possible today. Young people know this. They know it is only greed of a few that keeps everyone working insanely just to survive.

Some people are lazy but many are not. Why shouldn't they have quality time? Many of them see a broken system that has yoked their friends to debt and is breaking the planet. Yes, they blame the older generations. It's for all of us to fix together. No one should be chained to an office now. There is no need. Technology has freed us. Millennial know this. They see their privacy being sold. Dragon is correct, our phones are telling what we say, where we are, what we watch, what we buy to someone we don't know. Everything is so expensive, homes, education, child care, health care, it gets worse and worse. You have to plan your future from middle school to be a success.

I miss the great generation. They would have much to say about values and hard work. But they would say also that they see much has been lost. Right now, we are allowing some companies to treat people like human robots and it goes on no questions asked. That famous online giant company who has half the internet sales in the US asked for police to be brought in in Spain to force workers to keep productivity up when there was a strike. I say again, asked police to threaten workers to take up the slack. These same workers who must wear wrist bands to monitor where they are at all times and for how long, even on their lunches. Millenials know this. They know they are nothing but objects to these companies, to be discarded any time for any reason.

I worked through school, worked hard always, followed rules, don't complain, volunteer. But I see people stressed, sick, scared.

It's not too much to give a quiet room or meditation space. Lunch room isn't a calm space. I have to find somewhere outside myself. Cube land and it's fluorescent lights is not a healthy human environment, but it is efficient. I personally think every company building should have an atrium or garden space. We need nature. We did not arise in a building. The research tells us we need places of healing to balance us. Millennials know this. They are not asking for too much. They want to correct the imbalances that cause unnecessary stress.

Maybe they were protected too much, ok. But we have abused them too. We are leaving a great mess behind. This situation now, it cannot continue as it is. It is unsustainable. Let's take the best of all generations and solve it. Everyone contributes. Everyone able to have a decent life without being worked like a machine. Safe world where parents don't fear their children will be harmed if they take their eye off them for a minute. No more crushing debt on our young people. Health care as a human right. We take on our problems together.

Thank you everyone for your wisdom and healing.

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asurvivor ( member #32368) posted at 9:12 PM on Tuesday, December 11th, 2018

In the words of every generation talking about the generations that came after them (as well as lyrics from Bye Bye Birdy), "why can't they be like we were perfect in every way, what's the matter with kids today."

I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know.


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Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 5:33 PM on Wednesday, December 12th, 2018

Guess I'm at the cutting edge of being designated as a millennial. I think that's okay. I mean every thing you've described that you don't like about the group fits me pretty well. Except the eating and meditating stuff.

I think the generational distaste comes from holding in your farts too long. The pressure makes you crotchety.

BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer

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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 6:56 PM on Thursday, December 13th, 2018

NTV, holding in your farts would make anyone, of any age grumpy lol

I read a thing on FB that said:

"If we all switched to cursive and stick shift we could cripple an entire generation".

I wonder if they are talking about millennials?

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 1:20 AM on Sunday, December 16th, 2018

My son qualifies as a millennial, and he complains about them. He has a hard time believing their work ethic, or lack thereof.

BTW, I'm much more of a "look that up online" than my kids, and I'm 55.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

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Charity411 ( member #41033) posted at 3:24 PM on Monday, December 17th, 2018

I actually had a class in a training conference on this subject. The traits of millenials that have been brought up here are actually causing issues in the work place with older co-workers. In environments where team work is needed this is a big issue.

The class discussed a study done on the traits of each of the generations since the 50s and the diffences in how they view their role in life. The presenter was in his mid 50s with millenial kids. He was suprised when the study identified a reason for them being so entitled. They had helicopter and snow plow parents. Basically the parents hovered over them looking for any obstacles in their way. Then they promptly plowed them out of the way.

Basically, they were set up to be flummoxed when encountering anything they don't like once they entered a world that couldn't be influenced by their parents. They have been so supported, emotionally and financially by their parents, that they don't see working hard as a means to a comfortable life. They have the life without the effort.

To his credit the teacher saw that he was guilty as charged. When his son had a group of friends over they got to discussing their phone plans and the cars they were driving. To a one they were all still on their parents phone plans in their mid 20s. And their parents were paying their car insurance for them to avoid any oportunity for it to lapse.

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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 4:36 PM on Monday, December 17th, 2018

Basically, they were set up to be flummoxed when encountering anything they don't like once they entered a world that couldn't be influenced by their parents. They have been so supported, emotionally and financially by their parents, that they don't see working hard as a means to a comfortable life. They have the life without the effort.

In addition there has not been a push to use critical thinking skills in many of these kids.

I'm am not saying every single one of them is like this, but the ones that have all these traits make it difficult to work with them.

Hell last week one of them was doing cartwheels in the office. I kid you not.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

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FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 5:03 PM on Monday, December 17th, 2018

Slight TJ re critical thinking, I think employers are finally realizing the value of the older worker in these types of situations and also coming around to the idea that humanities degrees are desirable things to have on the old resume.

I waited until I was almost retired before finishing my degree and doing grad school. Both my degrees are in history which required tons of research, analysis, and major project work in a public history course which called for teamwork and interacting with the real world to actually produce something useful for a major organization.

I got hired for a summer co-op in my last semester, working as a researcher for the health authority.

I'm now done with school and I'm collecting my pension. They've asked me back for on-call part time work, and they want me to work with their incoming co-op student data analyst to help translate their work into reports the executive can understand.

The data analysts are great at data collection, but they can't do the translation piece very well, so tada, that's my gig.

They have another summer position next year that they would normally hire a student for, but they asked me to come back for that too, since it saves them having to train up a newbie full time for four months and I can do the work three days a week, which I think represents a small cost saving for their budget line.

They're bumping me up the pay scale because hey, I'm not a student anymore, and as a mature individual with a great education, a strong work history, and life experience, I have added value.

Both my exit interviews reflected on the fact that I saved them having to do certain things, because I was capable of figuring a lot of stuff out on my own, I know how to show up on time, dress and act appropriately, and not be on my phone all the time.

That said, I was a hot mess in my 20s!

END of TJ on the value of the humanities and older workers

*****

Some of my best friends are millennials, they're smart, sparky, creative and opinionated, and I love how they roll.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 11:09 AM, December 17th (Monday)]

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

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Charity411 ( member #41033) posted at 5:06 PM on Monday, December 17th, 2018

Tushnurse, that doesn't surprise me in the least. And I agree about the critical thinking skills. I have a co-worker who was and still is the helicopter / snow plow mom I described. Last week her daughter who is attending a large state university called her at 1:30am. This year she is sharing an apartment with another student, and water was leaking into their apartment from the floor above. She went into melt down and called mom, who is 120 miles away. While my co-worker was lamenting about how tired she was, all I could think of was that she shouldn't be surprised. She created the problem.

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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 7:20 PM on Monday, December 17th, 2018

Charity411

You described my sister in law. Always calling mom (my mother in law) for every little thing.

Being a parent is about raising competent, capable, fully functioning adults. Looks like in trying to give the kids an easier way then what they experienced many parents ended up raising adult children. (I was going to use another word but I figure I'll get.locked in the dungeon for it lmao)

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

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Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 8:21 PM on Monday, December 17th, 2018

Hell last week one of them was doing cartwheels in the office. I kid you not.

I had one come to work wearing a full abdomen showing halter top once, to a professional office that also had a dress code. When I called her into my office to let her know what the dress code was, clearly spelled out in the employee manual, she was genuinely shocked that it wasn't allowed. It was hot outside, don'tcha know!!!

The looks of disbelief and side commentary I got from all the other employees actually gave me a chuckle in their seemingly collective jaw drop - from all age groups alike. Needless to say, halter girl didn't work there very long.

The presenter was in his mid 50s with millenial kids. He was suprised when the study identified a reason for them being so entitled. They had helicopter and snow plow parents. Basically the parents hovered over them looking for any obstacles in their way. Then they promptly plowed them out of the way.

Saw enough of that when my kids were young and I knew then it was going to cause problems down the line. Ex and I used to talk about what we saw as future ramifications.

My kids hated me growing up because I WOULDN'T do that. "But mom!!! Everyone else's parents do that for them!!" Do you know how many times I heard that over the years! Gah!! I encouraged them to find their own solution to a perceived problem, and I would "assist" as needed without actually taking control (unless, of course, it was a true parental situation that needed my upfront control).

Nor would I allow them to keep "participation trophies," which I vocally disagreed with at every event. The other parents looked at me like I had horns growing out of my head for not getting "on board" with the idea, and it was a small Catholic school so you can just imagine since our kids all raised together. We (kids and I) had long talks about the whole winners/losers thing that is the way life is, and how it is more important to be a good sportsman regardless. If they wanted a trophy, they had to work hard to earn it!

They wanted a cell phone? They got a job (even if it was mowing their grandparent's lawn) and paid for it (prepaid Virgin Mobile plans were really cheap back in the day). Same with car insurance. And ya know what? They did it, AND survived!

Yeah, I was a monster mom back in the day, but get plenty of "thanks" from them now as adults. And you can bet neither of my girls has ever even considered wearing a halter top to work in an office!

Life is not fair. To anyone. EVERY generation has had its share of challenges and advantages.

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

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latebloomer45 ( member #18021) posted at 10:16 PM on Monday, December 17th, 2018

Well, my kids have a few of the traits but I was NOT a helicopter parent. Exactly the opposite, and I too, didn't let them keep participation trophies. If they reported fighting with someone the first words out of my mouth were "What was YOUR part in it?" True, 26 year old just moved out, but we left the house 18 months ago to go to Germany and needed him to take care of the house and dog until son number 2 graduated. The recession was HARD on millennials, let alone college loans and stagnant pay, which is just now getting better. We paid for college, they worked for spending money, and they pay insurance/phone/clothes. (They each did get a beater car at 18, our old ones, probably the only thing they ever complained about comparison wise as many other people in that town get new cars at 16!) Younger one now lives alone in our U.S. home and pays nominal rent and the utilities. He could afford to live elsewhere but we WANT someone in our house with our stuff! He will move out when we move back.

Me: BS 56
Him: FWS 58
Married 32 years
Son-26 Daughter (Who Came out as trans, so now Son)-23,
D-Day #1 12/11/2007
D-Day #2 5/23/2008 fucking trickle truth!
Whatever Threnody said, I concur.

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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 11:37 PM on Monday, December 17th, 2018

I was a monster mom back in the day, but get plenty of "thanks" from them now as adults

Oh I hope that my kids thank me when they are all adults. I'm totally Monster Mom right now. DD complained about not getting a trophy at a competition and I told her that if she wanted one she needed to work harder to be faster and better next time. She didn't like that. But that's how it is here. I won't baby them.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

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poopylala ( member #30119) posted at 11:54 PM on Saturday, January 5th, 2019

I read through this last night and I’m shocked at what some of y’all have experienced with millennials. I’m an 80s baby/90s kid (1989 whoop!) and am first generation American with a mom who owned her own small business after moving here in the 70s. I know my experience is a bit different all around but this just makes me so grateful that my mom modeled great behavior for me.

I thought this article might be of interest to some of you like it was to me. People hate the generation but the blame needs to be shared with the parents of the entitled individuals. Many haven’t been as lucky as I was to learn how to do things for themselves.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work?utm_source=dynamic&utm_campaign=bffbbuzzfeednews&ref=bffbbuzzfeednews

"To err is human;To forgive,divine"

<3 DS always

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 silverhopes (original poster member #32753) posted at 11:30 AM on Sunday, January 6th, 2019

I appreciate everyone's responses. For me, it's educational not because of anyone's personal preferences about millennials, but because it highlights what folks value. That's priceless knowledge for any age. So, as a millennial, if I saw desired values or habits being described here and being cautioned that millennials don't seem to have these according to some folks' experiences, and I feel I don't have them either, my next step would be to research how to build that value or that habit.

Sometimes I wonder if it's that the different generations learn different emphases on this value or other, and we feel there's a communication gap and that we're so different. It's a matter of figuring out where those different priorities are, so we can speak the same language. Millennials can learn from older generations how the job world works and what habits it takes to be successful, and the older generations can learn what struggles millennials might be facing that are different from the ones they faced.

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.

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CurseBreaker ( member #64201) posted at 3:31 AM on Wednesday, January 30th, 2019

I’m a millennial, and find that those on the younger side of the spectrum (those born about 95-2000 and the iGen) tend to be the stereotypical entitled brats. Quite a few of my employees in that age range were the ones that called out, griped about their job responsibilities, and quit when held accountable. They were the ones whose parents called out for them. Ugh. The older millennials tended to be driven and reliable, and had a great head on their shoulders.

I was raised by two boomers who expected me to work at 16, buy my own car, get A’s, get a college degree (I got 3 while working full time), and behave in a way “becoming of an educated woman.” They were tough as nails, but it paid off as all of my siblings & I have manners, common sense, degrees and steady jobs.

My x, however, was a hot mess millennial, a child in a man’s body with zero ethics and drive. Rather play video games, spend money and thrill seek than support the family with a second job after a major financial crisis. I know a few older men that have their ish together, but all GenX (which is historically “too old” for me, but this D has changed my mind on that). That being said, my dad is encouraging me to date men in the future who are least 8 years older. I think he’s through with his girls being subjected to millennial men’s stupidity.

[This message edited by CurseBreaker at 9:46 PM, January 29th (Tuesday)]

Me: BS, 30’s
D-Days: Up to 14! Must be a record or something by now...

D-I-V-O-R-C-E, that’s what infidelity means to me

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Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 4:25 AM on Wednesday, January 30th, 2019

I love Millennials. In fact, I think Millennials will save the world. I'm counting on it!

"Because I deserve better"

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