SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

MBB, glad your son is doing better

MBB, glad your son is doing better

Marie2792, Northeasternarea

Thank you both, I'm glad too. He's healing better and quicker than expected. 😊

To me the presence of trolls probably confirms that the SI forum is so effective that bitter adulterers from places like the reddit adultery forum are probably trying to infiltrate to stop us from sharing good advice with betrayed spouses. More reason to just keep on keeping on.

At every church I've gone to with my W, there are men who are trolling for women.

At every workplace there are freeloaders who just want to get by with as little productive work as possible.

It's everywhere.

The best way to deal with this is the same as an unrepentant WS.

Just ignore them. Some posters here talk about stopping posting or getting hurt. They are not worth your while. They enjoy stirring other people to make them feel better. They’re just insecure and... little.

As far as I’m concerned: *shrug*

I like wifehad5 post. This is the internet. There’s plenty of people, who are not troll, who will read these forums.

I don’t put details about my story because other SI members use it against me when disagreeing and because it’s the internet ...and English is a bit of a struggle for me. It doesn’t mean I’m not a BS.

Stay safe. stay anonymous and keep on helping the ones that need it

I realized today that I have stopped responding to certain posts. If there are a long wall of text or what seems like an outrageous story or statement or claim, I ignore. I have always been wary of trolls, but I think I'm more cautious about posting now.

cocoplus5nuts

I'm gun shy as well and also find myself stopping at replying in any great length. The sting from this is making me cautious.

Yes, anyone on the internet can read our posts without being a member and some lurk before joining. I lurked for a few days, some for weeks, months, and some never officially join but read and see the advice. They just may not feel comfortable joining or are afraid they will be recognized. All understandable.

The difference with trolls is they join, post as a WS or BS. Concoct a story and run with it. Since most of the time a troll isn't immediately identifiable we respond. We give advice. Some stories resonate more than others and all the while members are spending time to help these people as they sit and laugh at how clever they believe themselves to be.

I had an issue with someone on Discord's thread and "she" asked me not to abandon her and that she needed all the help she could get, so I was messaging her. That bogus plea for help has me pissed off.

Yes this is the internet. Yes there are trolls in every site that contains comments. It's nothing new and it just shows there are a lot of assholes out there with nothing better to do than rile people up. Happens all the time because some are awfully bold behind a keyboard.

But when it comes to a site where people are suffering a trauma, be it infidelity, illness, loss, or any other pain inducing hell they are going through, the trolls should back off. Grow a damn conscience. I know, wishful thinking.

ShutterHappy

I think your English is just fine. 😊

And Discord or Buzzy or whatever name you choose to use, I have no doubt that you are reading here still and likely burning some brain cells trying to come up with a new fake persona with a new set of lies. Maybe here, maybe elsewhere because you lack human decency.

FUCK OFF

Couldn't resist reposting this meme.

ShutterHappy

I think your English is just fine. 😊

Thanks I struggle with stuff like getting on (or in?) the bus, or is the house burning up or burning down etc...

Trolls don’t like to be ignored. Even insults make them happy. Just ignore them.

I struggle with stuff like getting on (or in?) the bus, or is the house burning up or burning down etc...

That's because it could be either. English is the hardest language to understand, or so I've read. It doesn't even make sense to us primary English speakers.

Thanks I struggle with stuff like getting on (or in?) the bus, or is the house burning up or burning down etc...

It is confusing.

They're going over there with their children. 😳

Why do we park in a driveway yet drive on a parkway?

You'll get the hang of it LOL.

cocoplus5nuts

You're right. It doesn't.

Dorothy123...

I know this is not topic relevant, but I had to share.

I had to do a double take at that picture of that guy sitting in front of the old computer.

He looks just like my brother did when he was younger. Except, my brother had different style glasses.

My brother was even a computer geek about the time of that old computer.

Even the body build is the same.

The more I look, the more he looks like him...it's bizarre.

Sorry to veer off topic...

It is confusing.

They're going over there with their children. 😳

Why do we park in a driveway yet drive on a parkway?

You'll get the hang of it LOL.

cocoplus5nuts

You're right. It doesn't.

What really bakes MY noodle is why we bake cookies, but we cook bacon.

I don't think there's any kind of conspiracy or that we're being invaded from wherever.

They're just sad ppl that want attention. I really think it's just that simple.

I admit I did not spot LtcmdrLost or Buzzy as trolls.

LCL seemed decisive and yes, I have read other stories where in short time, Divorce is happening. For some it’s an automatic dealbreaker.

Buzzy attempted ( I think) to make the point that so many marriages are on life support at the time of the affair and parties wait until a crisis like an affair occurs to pay attention.

In some cases could be true. My H claimed “we were disconnected “ when he had his affair. I told him “he” was disconnected- not me.

Whatever it is, how sad people have to choose to be dishonest. But then again all BS know how that feels.

Just move on.

Sometimes when I’m bored and I get one of those scam phone calls from people trying to “lower my interest rate” on my credit cards and need to “verify my account number” I play a little game. My goal is to keep them on the line as long as possible.

Just to be a bit obnoxious. What a bunch of losers. I laugh when they insist they are legitimate. They even call me about credit cards I don’t even have like a Chase Visa.

The world is full of them. Sadly.

Thankful for the real people here at SI. Invaluable support and information!

It is disturbing but so are some fake people in real life.

I don't think I responded to anything by Buzzy or his alter ego. I know I didn't respond to anything by Hiram. I just don't go to Wayward much. Every once in a while something on the forum list will grab my attention or someone will mention something in General and go look. But, I don't go there much because I really just don't give a damn. There are a few WS or FWS that I really appreciate for their bluntness and perspectives.

It really bothers me about LtCdrLost, though. I really bought into that story. I supported him, defended him and probably envied him. Didn't see that at all.

What really bakes MY noodle is why we bake cookies, but we cook bacon.

😄 They're both yummy!

Didn’t many of us BS’s marry fake people? I actually feel pity for Trolls on sites like SI. I mean, how pathetic a life can theirs be? It’s pretty sad!

@MBB, Fwiw...your posts often make me smile because you wear your heart on your sleeve when you write and that conveys a very genuine person, the complete opposite of a troll as it were (anti-troll, bridge-surfer, I dunno what the opposite term is ). The key to not letting these things affect you is to not focus on what someone else did, but focus on what you did. You tried to help someone, you did the right things, you felt empathy and concern. That’s what’s important, and when you do the right things it really doesn’t matter what someone else does or says or thinks because you know you did the right things with the information that you had. That’s all that you can ever ask of yourself. You did the right things, someone else did the wrong things...it’s as simple as that!

Phantasmagoria

Yes, we did marry fake people. I know why this is all bothering me so much. Though it's no where near the level of deception that spousal betrayal is, there are similarities.

The key to not letting these things affect you is to not focus on what someone else did, but focus on what you did. You tried to help someone, you did the right things, you felt empathy and concern. That’s what’s important, and when you do the right things it really doesn’t matter what someone else does or says or thinks because you know you did the right things with the information that you had. That’s all that you can ever ask of yourself. You did the right things, someone else did the wrong things...it’s as simple as that!

I could apply this to the infidelity very easily, KWIM? I did the right things, or so I thought I was, yet he did the wrong things anyway. The feeling of having wasted time and energy on someone who didn't deserve it. There are parallels to this, in my head at least.

I'll certainly get over this perceived betrayal a hell of a lot quicker than the one that landed me here.

It's just another reminder that doing the right thing these days seems lost in this world. I see everything as deceptive. What's real? Who is real? Trust is very short on hand since DDay in general.

Being married to a narcissist who puts forth one persona to the outside world, yet wears a different mask with me has made me hypersensitive to any form of deception. I have zero tolerance for it.

Hopefully and eventually I won't care as much about the rights or wrongs people do and see it as you suggested. Focus on myself and what I do. It's something I've been trying to do since I've spent extraordinary amounts of time putting others before myself.