SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I wish that I had left him 2 years ago when she called him at midnight on valentines day. I wish that I listened to my gut when I saw a text that seemed suspect, rather than believing his explanation. I wish that I had more pride in myself to know that I really could do better. I wish that when he lied about where he was that I insisted on knowing exactly where he was and not letting him make ME feel like I was the crazy person. I wish that I hadn't let him become the center of my universe allowing me to forget about my friendships. I wish that I had called him out months ago when I thought he was out with someone else. I wish that I had had the strength and foresight to see that there were flaws in our relationship, and it wasn't as perfect as I thought.

I hope that in the future, I am able to see these things as they are and not as I want them to be.

This is an incredible post, I want to read all the replies, and I will eventually. I love what you said about not caring if you make the WS angry, too bad, they have to deal with what they caused! Our feelings are more important as they caused us to feel this way, we're innocent victims! We didn't cause them to cheat on us, there's nothing wrong with us, there's something wrong them!

Bumping for all newbies, lurkers...this is a good thread.

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Bumping -- great thread -- I wish I had followed this forumula!!

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Glad this was bumped! I also wish I would've outted the A right away no matter how upset WH would have been. Would have saved me 4 months of gaslighting, him falling deeper into 'the fog', my turning myself insideout trying to make things better, and one whole month of false R. That's what hurts the most

Thank you, and god bless you, that is exactly my plan. My WS has not been to IC yet and if he doesn't go *very* soon then I'm heading to the whole NC step. Go, don't go, whatever. I'm not going to be here and miserable for long.

Love this Post it should be tagged somewhere for BS to read...

Did not realize WH was so foggy at first (July 2008). Now I see, he is hooked on this woman! Won't turn her loose. Lies about everything and when I catch him on the lies, he throws out a "I don't remember".

I'm done with the marriage now.

I've outed them to our coworkers. OW is so pissed that I did that.

Every time he says something, I tell him forcefully "you are lying again so shut the f*ck up".

Gave WH a list of things that I've been doing for him that he now has to do for himself. He's not happy at all.

Now that my head is out of the clouds of love, I see him totally different now. He's just man and a man who aint shyt and thats how I'm treating him.

If he doesnt like it, he can let the doorknob hit him where the good Lord split him!!!!!

As soon as he gets the hell out of my house, I'm getting the kids a puppy!!!!

I wish that I had trusted my inner gut. I knew. I let it go on and on. More than one. More than one time. I wish I would have stayed gone the first time I ever left. I wish I wasn't still here now.

bumping for newcomers

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Bumping...

Thanks for writing this. It gives me strength.

Need to print this out and hang it on my fridge.

I wish I hadn't confronted him so quickly when I found all those emails from all the OPs. There was so much more than what I found out that night of D day. I could have given him more rope to hang himself, so to speak.

If I was brave, I could have really played mind games and replied to all those other women's emails...calling them every name in the book, or better yet, pretend I was my WH and set up a meeting.

I could have also signed up on the AFF site and contacted my WH who had a profile on there...set up a meeting and watch his face when *I* walked in instead of one of those skanky whores on there.

I wish we didn't have a computer at the time, then none of it would have happened.

the perennial bumper strikes ...

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bumping back to page 1 for newbies