SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

And I don't (and haven't) made plans without checking with you first, so please don't continue to do that to me. Esp when you text me how much you miss the kids. You could have had the whole day with them, but you went on the boat instead. They would have loved to go. Which means you went with a girlfriend you didn't want them to meet. Which further means you picked a random chick over your kids. Which REALLY means, you picked your penis over them. Which is how this whole mess started. Full circle.

Get the f out of my head!

I hate you and your lies. You keep telling me you don't want to lie to me, but then you keep lying to me. I hate myself for letting you.

I just want to rage and scream! How could you? What words are real? How do you live with yourself? Who are you becoming as your integrity erodes? You don't want to be the villain, but you keep doing despicable things! Why? You know I can feel something is wrong when you lie. It doesn't always come up right away, but it's there, and it grows until it explodes! Every time that happens I lose a little more respect for you as a human.

All the lies you told and continue to tell

All the lies you believe

All the promises you made and broke

All the emptiness you keep trying to cover up and fill

You think I am the problem

When you finally D me.. You'll see

And it will be too late

I hate when you are normal. You turn my mind to mush. I don't care if you're an asshole. Just be consistent. Easier to keep my bearings. (Detachment is hard sometimes.).

You keep showing me who you really are. I'm finally starting to believe it. Your words never match your actions.

You're a Christian, eh? You finally moved out only because you found someone else. The space that I asked for years ago to give me time to reflect and see where I want to go. Something you denied me. You only did it when it was in your best interest.

Your answer to me breaking down when you told me about your girlfriend: "I thought you were done with me." Seriously? Fuck you for putting your actions on me again. You choose to move on before any divorce proceedings have even been started or even discussed. Fuck you for making me feel like the other woman in my own marriage. Fuck you for once again not respecting me or our vows. How is it that as an atheist, I have more morals and respect for our marriage than the 'Jesus freak'?

Fuck you for making me feel bad for having standards and boundaries. If you can't live with your choices, that's your problem, not mine. Stop dumping your shame on me.

Thank you for showing me yet again that you are not the one for me. Thank you for showing me that I deserve better than the shit you've shoveled on me.

Good fucking riddance.

I hate you! I gave you everything. I would have done anything for you. But you continued only to choose yourself every time. Now you have chosen her. Everytime. No loyalty to those who have supported you, forgiven your shortcoming, bore your children, or sacrificed their own dreams. You are simply a destroyer of lives.

I am a human being. I have a mother, and a father, and a sister. I have people who depend on me. I am a person, with a heart, and a soul. You destroyed my life, raped my soul…and for your own pleasure. I am a shell of what I once was.

You’ll never suffer any consequences. You’ll go on living, lying to others, hurting others. This world doesn’t need people like you. Monsters like you. Evil like you. Be gone.

I'm glad you are working on yourself, and that you admit you have low self-esteem. The first time in 19 years you admitted that.

But holy moly...your brain might not be salvageable. The shit that comes out of your mouth. Do you even HEAR yourself? Sigh...so fucking glad you're not my monkey and your dick is no longer my concern. In fact, I'm seeing you more and more clearly every single day.

How was I blind for so long? This amazes me, and makes my freedom that much sweeter. I'll never give it up. Never.

I have broken NC in the worst way. But after holding in my anger for 4 and a half fucking years, it felt so good to call you names and call into question you Christianity. Now you’ll really see what breaking up is really like. I’m not playing nice anymore.

Fuck you. I hate you.

Just saw this. What a great idea. And to my scum sucking ex i just want to say FUCK YOU! Oh, and Merry Christmas. I hope your dick falls off. with love, and forgiveness (well, one of these days) this is in lieu of NO CONTACT!!!

Omg, after so many years, i’ve finally had a breakthrough! I told him that we’ll deal through the lawyers, and good riddance.

I then BLOCKED his number!

This is the most anger he has had from me. I can’t believe it took me so long.

Sorry to break form...

To stbx, I really hate you. You are my enemy. It’s sad that my kids have such a pathetic father.

This is my first post to this thread.

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I almost wish I had not kicked you out so soon. So that I could watch you squirm and do a 180 on you and make you feel like a POS and see you grovel.

Now you are out in your happy bachelor pad doing God knows what (ok, I know what because I’m still stalking the phone records)(I so wish I wasn’t). But I never got the chance to harrass you about the truth. Or let you see the tears pour out in the shower or in my pillow at night. Or let you watch me try to explain to the kids why my eyes look like shit after a night of sobbing. Putting on a brave and chipper face for our poor kids who only know the marriage is over but thankfully have no idea that you destroyed it for your selfish need to get gratified by hookers.

Instead I am here holding down the fort while you show up as super dad every second weekend.

Lucky you.

Ugh..

What is wrong with your parents?? Seriously... I am screaming in my head

You offered your prayers for my sake? This coming from a man who went to confession for the forgiveness of God Almighty for adultery and then committed adultery again within 24 hours. God, you are such a liar.

You blame anyone but yourself for your messes. I've done nothing but bale you out of messes you've created for our entire marriage.

Leave me for over a year without child support? Gee, that's swell of you. Some dad you are. Glad your affair partner got you a great job, just the boost you need to finally leave your family. You must be so proud.

How do you live with yourself? Bitch whore is getting a real winner! A lying, cheating, narcissistic ahole! Winner winner chicken dinner!

You could have been heroes. You could have stepped up to the plate, and helped your son who is so very lost.

But you didn't.

Instead you have enabled him, and continue to do so. He's spiraling down and you're throwing more rocks on him... wake up! Before it's too late!

Who the hell did I marry?! You’re either incredibly stupid, or incredibly manipulative.

I hope she finds out what you are long before I did. But she must be stupid herself, jumping into a relationship so quickly with a married man. I feel sorry for her young kids.

You continuously lie to me, to not even give me a decent amount of respect at all. I hate that you’re portraying yourself as some weakling for pity. Oh poor you. You can’t help but watch porn. FUCK YOU.

I regret giving so much of me, just believing in you and what I thought was potential to be more. I can’t wait to get rid of you and your self-pitying ass.

I wish you could, just for an hour feel the pain and sadness you have unleashed on me. But you can't so I would once again be spitting in the wind only to have it fly back in my face.

Why did I ever marry you? I am trying so hard to overcome those things that led me to you. I don't think I will EVER trust anyone like that again. I will NEVER allow anyone close enough to hurt me this way. You flip switches so fast. I am done with your control. The attention, when you feel I am slipping away, is laughably predictable. I am trying to make good choices, and they are the most painful of my life. To let the phone ring when you call, hurts to my very core, because all I want to do is pick it up and go back to when you were MY person. But you have chosen her over and over again. I shouldn't have been surprised that you would chose her again. I have been nothing to you for now 8 years. Despite giving birth to four children, supporting you for years as your demands increased and increased.

It is a bitter pill to see my "you" was a carefully constructed illusion created out of your dysfunctional childhood, your railroad wreck of a father and his whore. Sure that is what you imitate, because that is what home is. Life with our family required too much of you. Too much loyalty, too much selflessness, too much responsibility. It was beyond my understanding that you would sacrifice our four children, and put them in a position you swore you would never allow your children to have to face. You asshole, they are not ok.

I would like to say that I wish you both all the best. But I don't, I want you to wake-up one day and realize that your selfishness cost you everything and everyone who loved you. Hopefully for my own safety, because you are a predatory bastard - I wont feel a thing about it and I won't care.