SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I was going to suggest having a friend watch the GPS and try and take pictures while you are out of town.

I hope you get what you are looking for

I hate this woman....

No you don't. You're hurting and you hate what she's done. You're angry and sad.

Well I don't know about him but I can promise you that I hate my spousal unit....right down to his spinal column and the marrow of his bones.

Yeah, I'm hurt. Yeah, betrayal, angry, and sad.

But I fucking hate him.

<back to your regularly scheduled thread, sorry for the vent but some of us actually DO hate the WS>

Hang in there!! Make sure that your friend documents what he sees, pictures if possible, and be prepared for what u might hear.

You remind me of how I was. I just hoped it would all go away and I just didn't want to deal with or face it. Although you have had to face quite a bit , I can understand how hard it would be to actually see it face to face. Enjoy ur trip, wishing u the best!

I commend you for taking steps to move ahead..

Just leaving...It feels weird to go. And knowing what might go down tonight...*sigh*!! I wish could just keep driving and never come back....

Man this sucks....

So I'm thinking about if I would want to stay with my WW! I see some major problems.

1. Her best friend in the whole world is the bitch that helped her cheat.

2. My WW's job is long hours and she works with 95% men.

3. I wouldn't mind having more kids(she doesn't want more)

So she would have to ditch her best friend, no contract OM ( which will be very difficult because he works in the same industry). She would almost have to change her whole career.

I can't see this working out....which crushes me!

Sorry Goose-em, this is so difficult. I agree with others, you need to have the proof, otherwise she will make you feel like you are crazy. Make sure your buddy has a camera so she can't accuse him of lying.

With so many negatives, perhaps you don't want to try to R. Perfectly reasonable. Sometimes people just marry the wrong person. It sounds to me like if she carries on like this, her values are messed up. And that is the foundation of any marriage.

Sending you prayers for peace. Take care of yourself.

Why does my brain keep talking me out of this whole thing? I keep trying to convince myself it's not happening. Im in total denial. And I know they texted each other yesterday, and she erased the messages again(looked last night).

Im at war against her...and my mind is at war against me(saying it not happening)!

I can't wait to get proof and tell her..so I can start recovery(or whatever is next).

Hey, goose-em.

Do the best that you can to enjoy the trip. Even if you squeak out SOME fun, at least that means your mind was temporarily distracted.

So she would have to ditch her best friend, no contract OM ( which will be very difficult because he works in the same industry). She would almost have to change her whole career.

These may be consequences if the two of you try to work it out. One thing at a time right now, although my suggestion is that if you are even contemplating staying with your wife--treat that as you VERY MUCH wanting to R with her.

It seems that the majority of BSs here on SI would like to R...even though they may think differently right after D-day. And there is no right or wrong answer if you stay or go--as long as it is your choice. Just expect your feelings for her to be all over the map in the early stages of discovery.

Good luck.

Put a listening device in her car. My husband told me he loved me and was on the phone with OW before he left the driveway stating he married the wrong woman. When you retrieve the device go someplace away from her to listen to it. My husband wrestled me to the ground and destroyed it.

Why does my brain keep talking me out of this whole thing? I keep trying to convince myself it's not happening. Im in total denial. And I know they texted each other yesterday, and she erased the messages again(looked last night).

Im at war against her...and my mind is at war against me(saying it not happening)!

I can't wait to get proof and tell her..so I can start recovery(or whatever is next).

Oh man, do I know that feeling. Like you, I had a bunch of damning evidence, but between gaslighting and my own denial (who wants to admit they're living a lie?) I refused to believe or confront WBF until I had a smoking gun--something he couldn't talk his way out of.

The denial is just a way of your brain trying to protect you; it's natural, and I'll bet most (if not all) of the BS on SI initially dismissed their suspicions about their WS.

I hope your friend is able to get the evidence you need so that you may start your road to recovery--with your WW or without her.

Hang in there.

You know why you can't believe it? Because you would NEVER do something like that. And, you sure as hell wouldn't have married someone who you thought capable of such a betrayal. YOUR mind doesn't work like that.

I figured out that that's why I didn't see the signs for so long. I was in denial in part-but it just didn't occur to me for a long time that WH could even be capable.

I hope you're exposed to some logical thinking-acting very soon. Sorry you're here but happy you found us.

IDK about telling her straight away after solid proof. I think I would have to make her sweat some with spoof calls from the OM's number to the house all day and night until she loses her sanity. I am really feeling for you here and wanted to add some levity to your sad situation with a calculating cheater.

Just stopping in to say I am thinking about you today. I hope you did get away and enjoy your skiing! That is something I have always wanted to try and never did..would be afraid of breaking a bone now!

Just want to say to your last post...take time to breathe and realize that you do not have to make any rash decisions. I am the type of person that would need to resolve an issue before the day was done.

You are trying to process all of the information you are being hit with. You are trying to think rationally about it all and it is normal.

Give yourself permission to slow your brain down and take the time to process it all.

Even if you get more proof..you can just take the time to absorb that info. You do not have to jump at everything. Not that you have and I commend you for it. I jump too fast and it cost me.

If your WW is truly remorseful, she will have no problems with letting go of toxic friendships and the job, can be sorted out as well.

Just take care of yourself and the kids.

Please keep us posted and I pray for your strength through this truly horrible time.

Hi goose,

getting in late on this thread. I didn't read all of the posts but I read all of YOUR posts.

1) What Bigger said. Reread that one.

2) It is not only a matter of how inventive your WW is gonna be at cooking up an excuse ... it is also how much your own mind is gonna WANT to believe. You have got to get a clear picture in your head of what the current situation really is ... and what your requirements are for starting reconciliation ... BEFORE you ever confront her.

Good luck.

PB

And I know they texted each other yesterday, and she erased the messages again(looked last night).

Can you put something on her phone to catch the texts? What about a VAR in the car?

Ok I have re-read biggers post again.

And I totally agree. It sound advice.

So The GPS is not working or she had a friend pick her up. Either way. It doesn't look like there is going to be any tracking tonight. Which is very disappointing to say the least.

Checking for text messages now.

I will catch her...I will be patient and eventually she will slip up. She has this whole week off. And I have already confirmed they meet during the day from texts back in Sept-Oct 2010.

And yes she is still erasing his messages as of yesterday.

I wish I could install a keylogger on her phone. I don't think I can without Jail breaking it first.

They almost NEVER call each other. Maybe the VAR with help with her talking to a friend.

Because I know her Little bitch "best friend" has helped her cheat.

This is just insane that I've had to wait this long to catch her.

As of 7pm there is no text to him. And I wondering if one of her friends picked her up?? One of her friends is also friends with me...and I don't think she knows about my WW's A.

It sucks to see the GPS at my house. Hopefully she didn't find it.(it's in a spare tire compartment).

.....or the dude is at your house? Is your friend tailing her?

I think there is an iPhone key logger. Mobile spy or something. If not, I'd jail break it. In case you R you will regret you didn't do it just for peace of mind.

Also: she may have noticed your mood and laying low. Maybe she suspects you are on to her.