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Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 7:51 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Your my hero!!! I'm sorry because I know your sad but damn if I had just one of your king sized balls I would be ecstatic...I hope I can make my departure as awesome as yours.
BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????
Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 11:50 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Wow you are so courageous! Remember that moment when you felt so brave because times are gonna get tough. That was the real you shining through. Please look after yourself this roller coaster is a horrible ride.
Me: BW
Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.
Life's good.
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 11:55 AM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
((((Karmita))))
You are amazing.
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 1:03 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
((((Karmita))))
You are amazing.
This.
You're going to be okay - lean on us; we're going to be here for you every step of the way.
Big hugs,
Lala
2025: Me-59 FWH-61 Married 41 years grown daughters- 41 & 37. 1 GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); Five grands ages 15 to 8. D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 1:23 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
(((((Karmita))))) Honey, please be gentle with yourself in the coming days. I'm so sorry for what you've endured over the past weeks. It can't have been easy sitting on this information and pretending that everything is ok.
Lean on your sister as much as you can. Lean on us as well.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 3:48 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
I've been consumed with adrenalin up until Sunday.
Yesterday was like my limbs and my mind have become numb.
I took this week off from work. My sister just went out to get groceries. She's been trying to get me to eat healthy.
We are going to have wine with our lunch, swear like sailors, and throw darts at a picture of my cheating soon to be ex-hubby.
Thanks everyone for your support.
Josephine01 ( member #38511) posted at 5:09 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
You are so strong. . . I envy you.
Me, 47 BS
H, 65 WH
2 boys 23 and 18 years old
Married 24 years
Tred ( member #34086) posted at 5:19 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
That is quite the story. Sounds like you have a great support system around you.
Married: 27 years (14 @JFO) D-Day: 11/09/11"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)
DCP21 ( new member #40061) posted at 7:00 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Oh Karmita, I want to be just like you when I grow up! I'm in the same place you were...he doesn't know that I know, and I'm just trying to gather as much evidence as I can before I grow a pair and decide what to do. This "doing nothing" for the last 6 months has killed me. His birthday is in October...mind if I steal your idea?
BS: 49
WS: 53
Girl/Boy - 25/20
Married 26 years
kansas1968 ( member #32214) posted at 7:10 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
Even though my husband and I are reconcilling, I LOVE THIS STORY. It is perfect. The only thing I would have added was a copy given to her husband of all of the evidence on the same day.
We all have revenge fantasies, but this has to be the topper!!
Hope you are doing well. As you said, when the adreniline wears off, a lot of pain and sadness will probably follow. Best wishes to you in your new life and bless your sister for stepping up and helping you through this.
Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 12:40 AM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
Ah sweetie, as masterfully as you planned and executed this, I know that your heart was breaking the entire time. You are a strong, funny, and creative lady. You are going to do Just Fine, after the heartache has passed.
And I hope that you had a wonderful time with the wine, swearing, and darts. Repeat as needed. (((hugs)))
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
myperfectlife ( member #39801) posted at 12:57 AM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
Karmita,
Thank you for sharing this...you've given some smiles and a little revenge to all the Bs on this site.
I am so, so very sorry for what you are going through.
I cannot even begin to imagine the stress and pain you have gone through knowing and not acting. You're a very courageous woman. You will need that courage and your dear sister to get through the rest of this ordeal.
You handled it with real style and I applaud your guts and moxy. Keep those traits and work on you.
You deserve better and you will have better. It is a long road, but you can do it. I have faith in you.
I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13
stilllovingher ( member #29959) posted at 4:38 AM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.
ShatteredPagan ( member #35475) posted at 11:16 AM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
Wow. You are an amazing person who faces life instead of runs from it. We can all use some of your strength and courage.
Take care of yourself and know you are loved by so many.
WS (him) 50, Diagnosed SA
BS (me) 41
Together since 5/13/2005
Married 10/13/2012
No kids together. 3 total between us (19, 17, 15)
Multiple A's
Sobriety birthday: 1/11/2012
D-day #1: 2/17/2012
False R: 3/1/12
D-day #2: 7/27/14 - real R began
devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 12:41 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
I am having a pretty ugly day so far and have been crying since 2am, but, after going on this site and reading your birthday celebration story, I feel a little better.
I am so sorry that you are in the same friggin boat as us, but MAN OH MAN, you are a fantastic swimmer.
Thanks for the smiles and I wish you all the best. Unfortunately, the hardest is still to come.
Good Luck.
And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!
StillGoing ( member #28571) posted at 1:31 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
7yrsflushed ( member #32258) posted at 3:34 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
Please take care of yourself in the coming days, weeks, months. You seem to have a great support system around you. The ups and downs will be here for awhile. Exercise, eat, drink lots of liquids, and try to get some sleep when you can. All of this sucks but it does get better eventually. Be kind to yourself and I wish you the best.
D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!
SadFlower ( member #37725) posted at 4:13 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
Karmita, well done! Good for you. And hugs--you deserve all the support you can get. I'm so glad you have your sister. I wish you all the best.
/tj/DCP21--and others who know, but whose WS doesn't know they know--a terrific book on what to do is What To Do When Your Spouse Cheats: Take Practical Steps to Survive, by Leigh Richwood. I didn't read this until after D-Day, but found it full of great advice. I was also in the situation of knowing, but sitting on the information until I got rock-solid evidence. I benefited from the book even though I had already confronted my WH. /end tj/
Me: BW, age 71
Him: WH, age 70
Married 24 years
In R.
D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA
DCP21 ( new member #40061) posted at 4:37 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
SadFlower, thanks for the book referral. I'll go see if I can find it. I'm glad I'm a fast reader, because I think I'll be needing a few pointers very shortly.
BS: 49
WS: 53
Girl/Boy - 25/20
Married 26 years
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 5:01 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2013
Thanks again to everyone for your kind words and support.
It kind of feels awkward to be told I'm strong and tough. It's been a blur these past months, almost like an out of body experience.
If it wasn't for my big sister who kept me sane and focused I don't believe I'd have managed my big F-U to my husband.
I'm numb and I have so much more to do in the following weeks and months. I'm resting this week and just taking it one day a time.
I feel a bit crazy...alternating from laughing and crying.
Thanks again and a big hug to all of you who have reached out to me.
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