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cl131716 ( member #40699) posted at 7:46 PM on Friday, September 27th, 2013
Wow! You are my hero! Really I wish I had the guts to do something like this.
Me BS 33 Him WS 37
Together 6 years, married almost 4 years
D-day: 07/23/13 EA with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out about a past kiss
D-day: 05/30/16 Saw first text message from new COW
D-day: 09-08-16 Dr. Fone confirmed EA
silverhopes ( member #32753) posted at 7:48 PM on Friday, September 27th, 2013
Hope you are doing OK, Karmita. This must be a very hard time for you right now. 
It sounds like you stood up for your boundaries, and that takes a lot of courage. It's OK to struggle. Everything in your life has changed, and he did a terrible thing to you and your M. It will take a long time to heal from that. We're here for you.
Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.
3kids30years ( member #38879) posted at 7:59 PM on Friday, September 27th, 2013
Karmita -
Hows it going? I think of you often, and how amazing you are and what an asshole he is!
You doing ok?
(((Karmita)))
3k30Y
BW - 52 on Dday
WH - 53 on Dday
DDay - 3/2/13 - 2:07pm 2+ year EA/PA
TT until 2016 - why do they do that?
Trust is earned, respect is given, & loyalty is demonstrated. Betrayal of any one is to loose all three.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 8:04 PM on Friday, September 27th, 2013
Karmita Just want you to know that we are all rooting for you. Use the anger to help you be strong through this. You will survive this, and you will be a happier stronger woman for it.
I hope you find a wonderful new apartment. This will help you to start feeling independent again.
((((and strength))))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Needadrink ( member #40512) posted at 10:47 PM on Friday, September 27th, 2013
Purple Rose that made me laugh so much thank you I had forgotten what it was like. I have no intention of making the situation funny though as we all understand it's not, I hope you are ok Karmita you deserve an oscar.
BS 57
WH 58
M 28 yrs together 32
D Day 10th April 2013
20 Yrs of Infidelity with long term affair 18 yrs but only seen a couple of times a year. 3 Prostitutes, sexual Massages.Ongoing Porn. lapdances.
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 8:52 PM on Monday, September 30th, 2013
Thanks again everyone for your support.
I've been reading here and my heart goes out to all of you. You're all going through so much pain and yet so many of you reached out to me with kindness and encouragement.
Even though it seems there are so many awful people in the world they are outnumbered by generous and kind people such as yourselves.
I'm doing ok...I guess. My sister is amazing...she was a member here years ago and she sent me here. I love her so much.
I filed for divorce. My soon to be ex-husband, who I now refer to as "Butt Plug" is acting like the victim, crying for himself. I hope he drowns in his crocodile tears.
He is such an *#%€¥^% ass*%#~!!
I found an apartment, will be moving in on the first of November. It's scary and exciting. I've haven't lived alone for so long.
mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 9:07 PM on Monday, September 30th, 2013
Best of luck with the apt & everything Karmita.
Your strength is an inspiration to us all.
Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be
Alex CR ( member #27968) posted at 9:57 PM on Monday, September 30th, 2013
(((Karmita))) What you did took great courage.
I don't know what or where your roller coaster will take you now, but wanted to send hugs. Being so busy with your 'surprise', moving and dealing with all the new changes in your life has kept you focused on the new life you choose to build.
Whether we R or not, there seem to be stages of healing from betrayal that occur over the months after Dday. Shock, anger, overwhelming sadness.....everybody is different but some stages seem to be common for many of us. Please know you are among friends here who are always ready to listen.
Keep posting, take good care of yourself and good luck in your new home.
BS Me 63
WS Him 64
Married 35
Together 41
DD 11/16/09
I can dwell in the negative or seek the positive...one road is lonely...the other teeming with life.
exhausted lady ( member #30217) posted at 10:29 PM on Monday, September 30th, 2013
(((Karmita)))
What you did is epic! You must have the most badass pair of bitchboots on the planet!!! (and you wear them well honey)
You're doing great. The first few weeks & months after a relationship explodes are hard. Very hard. You're gonna go up, down, and all around. Please be VERY patient with yourself, because you deserve it.
You've started taking the steps you need to take (time off to grieve, time with your sis, a new apartment) and those steps will serve you well.
Try your best to stay NC with that loser you just left in your dust. There really is nothing he can say to make things any better, right? So, why go there.
You aren't a refugee.....you're a warrior princess, and you just proved it. 
Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 6:45 PM on Saturday, November 2nd, 2013
So, I moved into my new place yesterday.
It was hard leaving my sister's place, where I been staying since I left my husband. She offered to spend the night with me....but like they say you have to rip the bandaid off.... I told her I'd be alright.
I went to bed only after I couldn't keep my eyes open. In the middle of the night I woke up and for a second I didn't know where I was. It's hard to believe that less than 6 months ago I thought I was happily married and we were planning to start a family and now I'm living in a new apartment and will be divorced in the very near future.
Today, I've got some friends over helping me paint the place. I'm going with bright colors. Yellow for the kitchen and living room and coral for the bedroom.
I bought a print that says "home is where the heart is" , and I'm putting all my heart into creating a new home for myself.
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 8:05 PM on Saturday, November 2nd, 2013
Thanks for the update. I've been wondering how you're doing. It gets better.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 10:18 PM on Saturday, November 2nd, 2013
WTG Karmita, you've got this!! 
Thanks for the update, and for being such an inspiration to many of us here.
((((Karmita))))
Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now
Laura28 ( member #28997) posted at 10:29 PM on Saturday, November 2nd, 2013
Hi Karmita
I have been following your story and truly admire your courage.
A few years ago I wrote a post about my fantasy future if I decided to D my husband.
I planned where I would live and what I would do. I used to daydream about the wonderful new life I would have. It was one of the many strategies which kept me sane.
I hope you have dreams. I hope you continue to make plans - the decorating and painting are a wonderful start. Keep looking forward. I cannot imagine how hard this is for you but really hope you keep working on your "dream" and I hope you find peace in your new little house.
HUGS
Laura
Married 42yrs Me BW 68Yrs Him F?WH 70yrs OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted. Dday May 28 2010. OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA 16+ years). OW2 2002(8yrs PA). OW3 2009(1Yr PA). Others?? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck 'em"
LetMeRollIt ( member #41189) posted at 10:47 PM on Saturday, November 2nd, 2013
D day- June 30, 2013
Me - BS
Married 15 years
5 year old child
Attempting R as of Oct. 1 2013
"Cry, and let your soul be cleansed of a love that turned to carnage." - Christy Brown
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 2:15 AM on Sunday, November 3rd, 2013
Thanks for the kind words.
Sending you all a big hug.
The place looks great. My friends are great. We ordered pizza and had a couple of beers and made fun of my loser husband.
Going to hit the sack....so tired.
1956 ( member #33045) posted at 1:24 PM on Sunday, November 3rd, 2013
I read your story and I am so proud of you girl, you are so strong and you did what was right.
You deserve all the good things in life and you will get there…….glad your happy with your new place……..now next step is getting out and enjoying life…..
say "yes" to everything and see where it leads you………….
Secrets Kept ( member #40630) posted at 1:42 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2013
"All this time I was finding myself & I didn't know I was lost"
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 11:43 PM on Thursday, December 12th, 2013
Seasons greetings to you all.
Just want to say that I know the holidays are tough for everyone here. I'm settled in my new place and put up a Christmas tree this past weekend. I chose a spindly tree that I only paid ten dollars for. This tree is a lot like me, a bit broken and kind of sad. I decorated it and covered it in lights and I have to say I think it's the most beautiful Christmas tree ever.
Hugs to everyone and I just want to say you're all beautiful and don't forget that.
Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 3:31 AM on Tuesday, March 11th, 2014
It's been awhile.
I'm officially divorced.
I'm doing great. I got a promotion at work. I'm dating a cute guy.
My ex and Hauren broke up. 
Too bad, because they deserved each other 
karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 3:34 AM on Tuesday, March 11th, 2014
I am glad you are doing well!!
Did the ex come by crying when his fantasy blew up?
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd
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