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Update on he doesn't know that I know

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mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 7:18 PM on Friday, September 13th, 2013

I love this thread so much that I came back to reread it again today.

(((Karmita))) I hope you are hanging in there. We are all living vicariously thru you.

Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2687   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 6486123
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idkam ( member #18375) posted at 7:44 PM on Friday, September 13th, 2013

Omg!! I love this post.. Thank you so much for inviting us into ur world... I know you are hurting but honey that will pass and you will be so much stronger than before, although that party you through showed hou are one helluva woman...

I agree with the person who said you should be a party planner for BS's..... I almost choked on my salad reading your post.....

Loved it....

Hang in there and take care of yourself...

2015 It's time to get Fit, Fine, and more Fabulous. Come and join me.

posts: 2046   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2008   ·   location: Texas
id 6486147
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Hrtbrken1 ( member #33802) posted at 8:04 PM on Friday, September 13th, 2013

SUPER SLOW APPLAUSE

In the history of awesome, you are the awesomest.

Me-BW
DDay 07/26/2011, 8 month EA/PA with
friend of our family. Months of TT.
DDay#2 Early spring 2012, confirmed EA with another woman.

posts: 156   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2011   ·   location: Sunny South
id 6486179
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momwith2boys ( new member #37459) posted at 10:17 PM on Friday, September 13th, 2013

Wow that is awesome! I would have loved to seen his face when he walked in! Ow was a friend to me too. I wish I had the balls that u have!!

So has he contacted u yet? Is he trying to win u back?

Me BW 35
husband 35
Married 10 years, together 13 years
OW-my so called "friend"
2 boys (7 & 3)
D-day 10/17/2012
D-day2-2/24/2013 told me it was her
D-day3-6/16/2013 found out affair never ended
Working on R

posts: 35   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2012
id 6486319
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CatchyUsername ( member #39415) posted at 2:27 AM on Saturday, September 14th, 2013

Karmita - WOW - amazing!! It was like you took every fantasy I ever had and made it REAL! I often say to WH that he is SO SO SO lucky I found out the way I did and not 3 days earlier because (i say) I would have done something very similar. I am in awe!

That said - try to be OK with wallowing in a sad place. You ran a HUGE marathon and now you need to rest and recover. Give yourself permission. You certainly earned it. You need to mourn in order for this to get processed and packaged away.

(((HUGS)))

posts: 213   ·   registered: Jun. 2nd, 2013
id 6486634
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 Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 6:53 PM on Sunday, September 15th, 2013

A-hole is how I refer to my soon to be ex-husband showed up at my sister's house this morning. He wanted to talk to me. WTF is there to talk about....I don't want to see his face or hear his voice. Shouldn't he be thrilled he and HAUREN are free to be together now that I'm gone.

posts: 139   ·   registered: Aug. 5th, 2013
id 6487871
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trytoforgive ( member #27330) posted at 8:33 PM on Thursday, September 19th, 2013

Hey Karmita,

Just checking on you...

Me- W 38
Him- H 40
Long time lurker...Sometimes poster...
DDay 8/14/2009

DD 15
DS 10

posts: 452   ·   registered: Jan. 23rd, 2010
id 6493488
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WeepingBuddhist ( member #39139) posted at 9:02 PM on Thursday, September 19th, 2013

Wishing you well on the next part of your journey!

Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

posts: 978   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2013   ·   location: BFE
id 6493533
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mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 9:07 PM on Thursday, September 19th, 2013

Shouldn't he be thrilled he and HAUREN are free to be together now that I'm gone.

Now that his A has been outed, the thrill is gone, & it may fall apart.

Be prepared now for a lot of minimizing, gas lighting, & rug sweeping. It seems that it was a deal breaker for you anyway, so just let your lawyer communicate with his lawyer.

Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2687   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 6493540
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heartbroken7110 ( member #36818) posted at 9:53 PM on Thursday, September 19th, 2013

A

m

A

Z

I

N

G

!!!!!!!

Me:30 Him:34
Married 8 yrs (together 16years)2 Kids
Dday 4/08 (TT until 9/11)
Slowlyyyy paving the road to R...most days.

posts: 87   ·   registered: Sep. 13th, 2012   ·   location: NJ
id 6493604
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 Karmita (original poster member #40183) posted at 11:19 PM on Thursday, September 19th, 2013

I went back to work this week. Also saw my lawyer and will be filing for divorce. I am done.

A letter has been sent to my husband that all contact will be conducted through my lawyer. We don't have much to split up. I took half of our savings when I left.

Going to stay with my sister until I find an apartment. All my stuff is crammed in her garage. I feel like a refugee.

I'm doing ok...I've developed a potty mouth though. I'm still so mad, but I prefer that to feeling so sad.

posts: 139   ·   registered: Aug. 5th, 2013
id 6493754
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3kids30years ( member #38879) posted at 12:48 AM on Friday, September 20th, 2013

Karmita!

I admire you so very, very much! If I only had the nerve! But after 30 years and 3 kids, I opted to attempt to R.

But I also developed a potty mouth - told WH to deal with it, or get the F*ck out. (see I told you!)

BW - 52 on Dday
WH - 53 on Dday
DDay - 3/2/13 - 2:07pm 2+ year EA/PA
TT until 2016 - why do they do that?

Trust is earned, respect is given, & loyalty is demonstrated. Betrayal of any one is to loose all three.

posts: 673   ·   registered: Apr. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: NorCal
id 6493902
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thisissogross ( member #30294) posted at 1:12 AM on Friday, September 20th, 2013

Back when I joined there was much discussion about how this junk can turn anybody into a batshit crazy pottymouth. I believe that was in at least one member's tag line as a matter of fact. It can be all one word 'batshit-crazy-pottymouth' I always thought that did sum it up nicely.

Anyway, I am sorry for all you're dealing with. Your sister sounds awesome and so do you. I engineered a dday blowup also (nowhere near as rad as yours) and I know what you mean about not feeling anything but devastation. Everybody's told you right though. It took a while, but boy did I eventually get my laugh and feeling of overwhelming badassness. You've handled a very difficult situation with aplomb approaching glamour, glamour I tell you, and soon enough you will feel that and be so proud of yourself.

Really sorry you're feeling displaced. Here's hoping you find somewhere wonderful to settle into soon. And in the meantime, at least you've found a place where your pottymouth is well understood and accepted.

[This message edited by thisissogross at 7:18 PM, September 19th (Thursday)]



i edit frequently because i have to

posts: 379   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2010   ·   location: southern us
id 6493943
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mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 2:22 AM on Friday, September 20th, 2013

dear (((Karmita)))

we are all so proud of you.

you are an inspiration to us all.

Hang in there sweetheart. You will be ok. & you will always be able to hold your head up high.

Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2687   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 6494029
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dead_inside ( member #3438) posted at 2:32 AM on Friday, September 20th, 2013

My god but that is epic.

Me: FORMER BW
Him: WXH

posts: 760   ·   registered: Feb. 13th, 2004
id 6494041
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refuz2bavictim ( member #27176) posted at 9:42 AM on Friday, September 20th, 2013

I'm still so mad, but I prefer that to feeling so sad.

Yes. The anger feels much more empowering than the sadness.

The high of having some control for once, may have worn off, and you may fee like a refugee, but the self control with which you pulled off the "surprise", will serve you well.

Hang in there.

I wish I had half the creativity and self control you did. I don't think Karma could have done the job nearly as well.

Foresight is 2020

posts: 2414   ·   registered: Jan. 12th, 2010
id 6494240
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 10:16 AM on Friday, September 20th, 2013

"This is how we move it"!

DO NOT TALK TO WH NOR OW -- It eats them alive! Trust me on this! OW was my friend and I have NEVER said a word to her once I had him served. It is the ONE thing I have power over --

The funniest thing is that you woke him up from "the fog" in an epic way, and you are gone just when he comes back to reality.

Honestly, thank God that you are gone before you had children together. On this site is a forum -- I can relate - and one of the threads is for betrayed husbands. When I read of their honesty, I realize there are really decent men out there and I am so proud of myself for suprising WH with divorce papers.

Epic!

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5513   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 6494248
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sleepless34 ( member #40274) posted at 5:33 PM on Friday, September 20th, 2013

Love love love love it.

I could never have pulled it off, because I wouldn't have been able to pretend all was fine once I knew.....you have awesome self control. This is so good, best story ever. You win! BAHAHAHAHAHA

Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

posts: 446   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2013   ·   location: Hell
id 6494709
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SurelyNOT ( member #40617) posted at 7:42 PM on Friday, September 27th, 2013

This is such a WONDERFUL post. I really hope you are taking care of yourself, don't forget to look after #1. Your revenge was just priceless, oh to have been a fly on the wall witnessing his and her responses

I hope everything goes well on your journey, it's a bit of an uphill battle, BUT you are so capable, and so very worth it, onwards and upwards.

Thanks for making me smile, you are a pure tonic - don't ever lose your sense of humour

posts: 95   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2013
id 6503223
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cl131716 ( member #40699) posted at 7:46 PM on Friday, September 27th, 2013

Wow! You are my hero! Really I wish I had the guts to do something like this.

Me BS 33 Him WS 37
Together 6 years, married almost 4 years
D-day: 07/23/13 EA with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out about a past kiss
D-day: 05/30/16 Saw first text message from new COW
D-day: 09-08-16 Dr. Fone confirmed EA

posts: 1243   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2013   ·   location: Oklahoma
id 6503228
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