SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

What tushnurse said!

You watch GoT np5 - Ramsay Bolton and Theon.

Tush is so right. And using being ill is another justification. Lots of sick peeps get treated like crap and don't have affairs. Edith is not the VICTIM you and the children are.

From reading all of both your threads, I think you're each so dysfunctionally codependent that you'll be together & miserable forever. Your poor children. I am sorry, but you won't take advice and she is a chronic evader. One of the saddest stories ever on this site.

We both need hope that this terrible nightmare well end for the better.

Did you invest on the basis of hope alone? You need to act in support of the hope, too. Hoping isn't enough.

What have you told your IC? What does s/he advise?

Have you retained a lawyer?

Are you committed to the M in order to keep your lifestyle?

LongWalk wrote:

Divorce is expensive

But worth it.

NP5, you gave your WW multiple opportunities to be honest with you, and she lied repeatedly. Even now, the only reason she's finally admitted to intercourse is because of the polygraph.

Why do you think she was so determined to lie about having intercourse? Well, clearly she suspected or (perhaps) feared that would be the dealbreaker for you. By deliberately withholding that piece of information from you, she has manipulated you into staying in your marriage for the last 8 months. She took away your right to make an informed decision about your relationship, and she has STOLEN the last 8 months of your life from you.

It's possible that if she had been honest with you from the beginning, you might have been able to recover from the disclosure about sex. You'll never know, but it's too late for that. Instead, she chose to gamble your marriage on the hope that you would never find out. Or that by time you did find out, enough time would have passed that she would have figured out a way to keep you from divorcing her.

She's not being punished for her honesty. She's facing a consequence for her behavior.

Hello NP5. This is my first post on any of your threads. I have read this one in its entirety today.

Would you please tell me when you have the polygraph scheduled? I'll be thinking of you and your family then.

She's not being punished for her honesty. She's facing a consequence for her behavior.

Tomorrow is the Polygraph at 1pm

I will accompany Edith but I should leave before it starts as it may skew the results. I have to pick up the kids at carpool as Edith will be busy.

Both of us are very anxious and concerned. I hope it goes ok.

I don't know what else might surprise me. Intercourse is 80% to 90% of it.

I'll catch up tomorrow.

I wish you nothing but peace.

Edith has been raging on me regarding the polygraph. Finally she said that she is completely at my mercy.

I don't want that. All I want is the truth so I can lay a firm foundation for whatever is in the best interest of our family, me, and our children. Hopefully it will be with her.

Her attitude is what is killing this marriage. She is trying to change and it has been much better in the last 8 months.

Still I'm so damn angry!! I had a lot of driving today and about 40 miles from home I nearly pounded the steering column into the engine block.

DAMN IT EDITH!!!!!!!!!! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!! TO OUR FAMILY!!!!! YOU DAMN OBSTINATE ....!!! words fail me.

But, I do still love her

She doesn't want to take the poly because SHE IS STILL LYING to you.

Please ask the tester if there has been other men. I'd bet my retirement that this isn't her first affair. People with skills like her have been to more than 1 rodeo.

I feel sorry for you, seriously. There are women out there who would give thier front teeth for a guy like you. Yet....you waste yourself on this disaster.

Good luck. I wish you peace no matter what.

She doesn't want to take the poly because SHE IS STILL LYING to you.

If she's serious about repairing the damage she has caused, she should be thrilled to have this opportunity to prove herself to you and to demonstrate that she's finally being honest. Unless, of course, she hasn't been honest with you. Sounds like she gave you another piece of the story this week in the hopes of convincing you to cancel the polygraph. Since you didn't cave, she's now facing the reality that the truth is going to come out at that appointment.

There's just no other explanation. I'm sorry, NP5, but if you finally have the whole truth, what could she possibly be afraid of at this point?

[This message edited by Trying297 at 11:46 PM, May 4th (Monday)]

We are all anxiously awaiting the results of the polygraph test! Could be interesting! Keep us posted.

How is she at your mercy? Because she's still lying? If she's being truthful. Why is she raging?

The last 8 months have been better? Don't rewrite your own history. She was gone all night what, 3 months ago? Last in contact 2 mons ago. Told you she needs IC to put up with you one month ago? If that is better....how bad was she?

Be honest with yourself.

Best wishes, NP5!

Keep talking to us, we all support you and want the best for you&the kids.

She didn't stick it out on forum

There's more; tons more. Or she'd be looking forward to clearing herself.

Edith has been raging on me regarding the polygraph. Finally she said that she is completely at my mercy.

I don't want that. All I want is the truth so I can lay a firm foundation for whatever is in the best interest of our family, me, and our children. Hopefully it will be with her.

Her attitude is what is killing this marriage. She is trying to change and it has been much better in the last 8 months.

...

DAMN IT EDITH!!!!!!!!!! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!! TO OUR FAMILY!!!!! YOU DAMN OBSTINATE ....!!! words fail me.

These are not the actions of a woman who has all the truth out on the table and ready to clear herself. She thought her little reveal would get you to back off the poly. She's definitely scared of something she's keeping hidden.

Do not back away from today! Hang in there and get this over with. Remember though her default responses is that she was so upset, she couldn't help but fail, or find all the evidence of how polygraphs miss the mark. She's desperate to reclaim the higher ground emotionally on you.

The last 8 months have been better? Don't rewrite your own history.

I completely agree with this. In the last 8 months, she has consistently lied to you, she has broken No Contact several times, she has involved your kids in covering up for her (Feb 20th), she has TTd you slowly... she has watched you suffer, bleed out and she has the key to your sanity: the truth. Yet she keeps feeding it to you, little by little, just so you dont leave.

Good luck with the polygraph. I hope it finally can bring you peace and you can find a plan of action for your health & wellbeing.

We are going to be here when the test doesnt go well.

[This message edited by Anik1989 at 7:23 AM, May 5th (Tuesday)]