SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Seriously!? Wtf are you doing? Blaming me for everything. You dont call the kids? My fault. You dont visit the kids? My fault. You're unhappy? My fault. Because it's all my fault you have to try and punish me by trying to get the court. Who the fuck do you think you are?! You are hhurting the kids, their hearts hurt so badly but you refuse to see its your own doing. It's easy to ignore because you haven't seen them in 3 months. It's easy to pretend you're not fucking with their lives because you're not there to see the hearache everyday. Nope, you can just act like this is all my doing and you're this shjining knight who is done wrong by the evil ex. Dude, wake up for once and look past your nose. Your actions are killing them. I can only do so much to blunt their aches, but I hide them from it because that means hiding them from you. God i wish i could but i cant. Your their dad and they miss you. Why i have no idea. You were always MIA. Make a choice, step up and be their dad or just go away completely. Well..... I guess you already have gone away havent you.

How about controlling YOURSELF??? Banging multiple women but keeping one in the dark to "meet your emotional needs". Lobbing accusations my way every chance you get. You have no idea who I am. Not everyone is you! Some of us don't need non stop attention from the opposite sex to be happy. You wouldn't know honesty and integrity if it smacked you in the face. No wonder with the company you keep. On a real estate errand, but I'm not home for 15 min and I'm "on a date.". You hypocrite, projecting your insecurities and unhealthy "kibble needs" onto me. Good luck to all of your bar chicks. They will never be enough for you.

And congrats on all of your "stuff ". You must be truly happy. By the way, don't plan on taking out any more loans until we are legally divorced. If you get hit by a bus, I'm fucked with all of your debt.

We finally came to a divorce agreement! Hurry up and tell your idiotic lawyer to draft it up! He doesn't need to be a genius, just copy my lawyer and plug in different numbers! I feel so much sadness and rage, and I can't even definitively pinpoint where these emotions are coming from or going to. I just want to close this horrifying chapter in my life and move on!

And stop telling me you love me! You showed me at every step that you don't. You just say that to make yourself feel better. I hate you.

Last night I dreamed we were together and having sex. I was so happy to be with you.

I woke up. I was alone. I wish you were alone as well. I wish I knew that you missed me. Instead your girlfriend was in bed with you.

Stop crying. You caused all of this. You have no right to cry in front of me or our kids. Your pathetic and it sucks I never got the partner a should have had. I should be the one crying and whining but I can’t because I have to be strong for our kids. Go cry to all your whores. I don’t want to see or hear it.

I hate it that i love you still..

I feel like I'm living with repercussions of a train wreck that you caused.

You ruined all the holidays. You were angry at my older kids, didn't want them in the house. We had to change where we were celebrating the holidays and then you wanted to invite your family, your friends for a holiday that you didn't even celebrate.

You're gone with Wife#3, and now my older sons aren't really speaking to me. The holidays are gone. Our closeness as a family is gone. I sacrificed all this for you and now am left with nothing. Family is broken up. They felt I chose you over them, and I get their pov, although it is not true.

I always hosted all the holidays and that is done. They are busy with their own families and thier wife's families. The only family I had was yours and now they are gone too.

I'm tired of being alone without a family. I'm tired of everything.

Our sons together are suffering from anxiety and we're poor. I gave up a career that I can't get back and working minimum wage and the house is going to foreclose. You "borrowed" all my money that I'll never get back.

Most of all, I'm so angry at myself that I didn't D immediately on DDay and save myself and my sons all additional heartache that you caused. I hate myself for believing all your lies and believing that there was hope for a future.

I'm sick to my stomach when I think that I actually slept with you. My nose starts to bleed when I think about how much of my life you've wasted. My the room spins and my head aches when I think of how I was actually fooled into thinking you were someone else and asking you to marry me. I am disgusted with myself for ever having loved you and the stink from the shame of it is more than a thousand showers can wash away. I am disgusted not by the way you look or take care of yourself (though an extra shower a week wouldn't have hurt) or even by the way you used to trash our room and then blame it on me. I'm disgusted in you because I see the rotted out core of who you are as a person.

I want you to know that your instincts to hide away your true self from me and the rest of the world is understandable. I'm not sure there is a single other human on this planet that would want to be anywhere near you if you didn't hide your true self away. Keep it buried as deep as you can and hopefully you'll be the last person to ever have to suffer from being close to the real you again.

You mother licking goat nugget! I cant even believe you have the nerve to send me a text stating you want to schedule when you can call MY phone to talk to the kids because they won't answer theirs. AFTER YOU REFUSED TO when I suggested it 5 months ago! Ever think they gave up trying to talk to you after months of not reaching you? After months of you calling 2 maybe 3 times a month and only talking for 4 minutes? Fuck you dude. I have a life and am not going to stop it and wait around for a call that might come. Just go away and deal with your life.

Why do I still want to try to make it better?

All I want is to be with you again, but you don't want me.

You hurt me more than anyone ever has; you broke me. More than once.

Why, why?

I want to go back to when I was happy. I can't go back because your love for me is gone. I can't move on because I still love you, despite my best efforts to forget.

I don't know how to get better but I know if I contact you, my only reward will be more hurt, humiliation and a renewed sense of loneliness.

I have no idea what to do.

[This message edited by litost at 2:03 AM, April 2nd (Monday)]

Do you even care about the pain you’ve caused me- did you ever really love me- how could you behave the way you do! All I want is some acknowledgement of the pain you’ve caused. Don’t you know that you’ve destroyed my life. I was looking forward to our son getting older and for us to be together more and rebuild our romance and instead what I got was the knowledge that you wrote me off 5 years ago. That you were capable of lying to me year after year. And then you tell me that she’s a nice person and that you didn’t really feel guilty cheating on me. I hate you but today I stood in the kitchen with you and all I wanted as to feel your arms around me- I hate you!

You POS!! I've just had to drop my precious babies off to you for a sleep over when I want them with me! You know how hard it is for me to be away from my babes when I'm not working, I worked so hard for them I love every second of being near them. You would have seen that I looked heartbroken to leave them but I doubt you give a shit because it's your 'turn' to have them. But there shouldn't be a your 'turn'. This should never have happened. Those beautiful boys should have come first but they didn't, our family didn't because your cock came first!! I know you claim to love her but that's the narrative you've spun yourself to make yourself feel better for what you've done. We were so happy just five months ago!! You selfish, lying, conniving, evil tosser!

You worthless self centered cum dumpster. All the hell you think about is you you you. I'm so fucking happy you can have all the goddamn time off from being trifled with the woes and pains of the daily mundainities such that you are now free to embark upon your quack therapist's spirit quest to find whatever the fuck was so goddamn interesting and and more important than the the preservation of your husband and family. Not one OUNCE of fucking remorse, just defensiveness. You and that quack have it all figured out after just ONE GODDAMN SESSION!!! Hell, I should just do you a favor and put a bullet in my skull. Save you the time and hassle of ME putting you through this traumatic institution of divorce. You poor snowflake, you've been through so much. And of fucking course its ALL MY GODDAMN FAULT!!! The nerve of ME not bowing to your narcissism. I mean, come on it was ONLY ONE pedophile, it was only ONE best freind, it was only that ONE guy for 10 years, well then there were the others. And the others that you did mention and the others you didn't mention and what the fuck, over? But you want me to feel like the piece of shit. But don't DARE mention any of your indescressions otherwise there will be sheer unadulterated hell to pay. Your wrath, we both k ow How you fucking LOVE your wrath, comes out bearing teeth and fangs. God forbid you look at what you've done or have any reminder of it. How do people turn into monsters?

[This message edited by OuttaCoffee at 9:50 PM, April 5th (Thursday)]

I miss you and I want to call but it's a terrible idea. Why?

I don't want to know how you're doing. If you're doing great, I'll feel like you are better off without me. If you're doing horribly, I'll feel like I'm responsible somehow. But you know what? I'd rather not know at all.

The only thing I'd ever want from you is a real "I'm sorry" and a real understanding of what you did wrong. You are a coward who doesn't own his mistakes. Your only coping mechanism is to run away from any responsibility and play the eternal victim card.

You always left me to fend for myself. When I was in the hospital, when I had nowhere to live, when a man was stalking me, after a pregnancy scare, and more!

What the hell is wrong with you? You broke all your promises to me and you're not sorry! How can you live with yourself? How fucking dare you do nothing but goof off and tell me how hard it is for you! You lived off your savings and did absolutely nothing but numb your brain with games, creepily enjoy violence, and go to your wannabe edgy hipster concerts for a whole year.

Your sad and isolated life is of your own making. I despise the idea of you with another but I'm getting used to it. I loved you too much. Far too much. I wasn't perfect but I was an affectionate, loyal girlfriend and wife who tried hard. Good fucking luck getting anyone with half a brain to put up with your unbearable selfishness for more than a couple months now. I only hopped on that train because I was a dumb teenager.

You've never tried; you only ever feel entitled to things you didn't earn or truly deserve! I hope you face some actual fucking adversity for once in your life, since all your problems have been of your own invention up until now. You're full of ugliness, a self-indulgent manchild.

You STILL won't stop talking to her, maybe even going to see her without telling me because that's the kinda guy you are, and you KNOW every time you so much as mention her, it destroys me.

I wish there was justice in this world. I hope you go to the same hell you sent me to, now that I've crawled out.

Every time I want to call, I will remind myself. You're a coward and a liar. This fight is futile because there isn't a drop of empathy in your veins. In your version of "love", my health and happiness are your worst inconveniences.

You're just a piece of shit in a people suit.

[This message edited by litost at 10:12 PM, April 6th (Friday)]

Hope?

No - that's dead

Wishing that you weren't such an arse?

Oh yes.

You are such a pathetic, weak-willed, tosser.

I cannot wait to have you utterly and completely out of my life.

You worm

Edited because you are a TOSSER (fuck you)

[This message edited by MadOldBat at 9:24 AM, April 7th, 2018 (Saturday)]

Argh... I believed your tears yesterday. I fell for your lies. I believed when you told me you missed us and family life and begged me to tell you if there was any chance for forgiveness.

I gave it to you straight. I told you how hard you'd have to work, how I didn't love and miss you as the man you are today, how I'd take my cues from your actions and not words and what do you do... NOTHING... because you're just such a bloody coward! Or worse you just wanted me to make you feel wanted!!

But your games had an innocent victim. A little boy who saw you looking sad and concluded that daddy must miss us and want to come home. His beautiful little kind heart!!! You played your biggest baby too!!

You're still at hers tonight. She doesn't know the things you've been saying, she'd kick you out. I'm not going to participate again because I'm not her... I'm much much much better than her!

Your narcissism knows no bounds. If it feels good, do it. Chat it up with however many swinging dicks you'd like on your vacation. Shove a pill down ds2's throat with not one damn clue how it will affect her as you swoop in to play part time mother that pretends to give a shit about someone other than herself. I'll be there to mop up the mess. That all im good for. How dare I state the the obvious. How dare I not put the fact that drug interactions in her condition can cost her limbs in a palatable manner consistent with your snowflake constitution. God forbid you get asshurt over your current actions, not that that is conceivably possible given your past countless indescressions. I have been MORE than reasonable and accommodating on everything concerning every facet of this separation and divorce. I have my limits.

Good luck on your dick hunt. Hope the picks are as appetizing for you as the last bunch were. Just remember to sterilize your mouth with bleach before being around our girls. Your standards leave something to be desired

I'll let you have your retort. I should have stayed NC in the first place. Your actions and that diatribe does nothing but confirm my suspicion. Hell, its not like there aint more than a decade of prior action just like it. What's the difference now? My original point stands. At this time, it is unwise to involve any 3rd parties. Its simply too soon for all involved.

As to my "demands" as they are so put, what you state I am demanding are simply the dictates of COMMON SENSE, present logistics, and decency. Yes you were more than encouraged to leave the family home. Yes you complied. No you haven't fought on much except on displays of your attitude. And now this.

I believe I hit the nail on the head citing defensiveness and defiance. Should this issue be the catalyst that turns things messy, so be it. I have THE NASTIEST DIVORCE LAWYER regionally available on standby. My goal is simple. At the end of all of this, I want our girls to have 2 STABLE homes to be able to call home. This is nothing I haven't said before. I'm not asking a dime from you. Your phone will be emancipated later today. Use your freedom wisely

Screw you.

i have chosen to forgive you, and am not interested in your destruction. but as more time goes by, i am less and less interested in ever seeing you again. you hurt me worse than anyone could, and you knew exactly how to hurt me. your grandfather would be so proud of you- to have a grandson worse than he was.. i wish i had told you that. maybe someday i will. i only know you will use anything i say or do against me.

i am very relieved to see your OW#4 has married someone else. you don't know how relieved. she looks really messed up, and i know you had something to do with that. i hope she knows the truth now, that you used her to break up and destroy your marriage and wife. not that you destroyed me- you are not strong enough for that. but... you did destroy your wife. you had so many chances to make the right choice too- i could have walked away, but stood strong and allowed you the opportunity to change and be the husband you promised... i don't regret giving you those chances. it was the right thing to do. i am walking away knowing i did everything, yes EVERYTHING i could to save our marriage. but a marriage won't survive with just one partner doing everything, and the other blaming everything on them... so funny, cause you know the truth. you know what you did was wrong, and that you didn't have to choose it. AND that i am not at fault!! But you're so skilled at rewriting and lying... how sad.

you think that what you've chosen now will free you. i'm sorry that you believe that- you will never ever be OK until you acknowledge your own pain, and the pain and destruction you've caused. never.

there is still hope for you. it doesn't lie in me or any other SO or even your family. it relies in coming clean. getting clean from your many bondages. and running to your heavenly father.. He will always be there for you.

i started this message angry, but now ending it sad.

[This message edited by IceThee at 8:58 PM, April 13th (Friday)]