SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

To comment on what FightingBack stated:

It seems the vast majority of affair sex, consists of blow jobs. Perhaps this is due to limited venues and time, but it also seems to me that is a form of control - on both sides.

I completely agree. It is about control. My WH told me after he and MOW had their little quick sex in his friend's car that he told her to suck it real quick (and when I say quick I mean it-- less than a minute) because he just wanted to see it in her mouth It was his way of disrespecting her. Sick, I know...

On my then 5 year old son's single bed with Cars themed sheets on it.

Agree completely with Fightingback and myownbestfriend-

There is no doubt the oral sex is all about control and manipulation-she initiated the oral...I mean, what better way to keep someone coming back for more (no pun intended).

It became a regular thing-more than sex, from what I understand. He now refers to her as a slut and nothing more, since he views all of her actions as that. Wonder how her BS looks at him?

Her apartment. Her other apartment. Then her house. I'm pretty lucky in this regard that she lived a couple hours away.

Probably the worst for me is away at a conference. He stayed the night in her room (after he won a major company award) and he had a roommate. Nice honey. I'm sure nobody noticed.

So most people who know me think I have lived a pretty vanilla and privileged existence. Where did the sex occur? The short answer is where ever it could. The details (as far as are known):

In the car in various parking lots

In his parents’ house

In her parents hot tub

In the two different houses where we rented a room from her relatives

In our first apartment

In his first rental house (he was living with his GF of the time – my W cousin)

Just about everywhere in our early years there was something inappropriate – a stolen look, touch or kiss. It was all driven by sexual tension.

The only reason it did not happen in the first home we bought was geography and time. We moved an hour away, and he grew tired of the sex. He had a preference for strange.

Yeah that’s not exactly the marriage of a privilege existence. Before Dday #2 there really was not much in my life that I thought moved me towards what I had always viewed as the domain for the tawdry folks on Maury Povich. What I’ve learned since about my real past, my parents and family and some revelations of sex abuse make me realize that Maury unfortunately reflects the real world more than I had understood.

OM#1 - BJ at a friend's place, at a party. I was there, but she was out of sight and I trusted her.

OM#2 - sex at her parents' always on their couch.

OM#3 - sex at an apt he and another guy had to keep their wives from knowing

OM#4 - my cousin, BJ twice. Once at his place during a family get together. Once at our apt in the bathroom. I thought she was making dinner and he was using just our BR

From what I read after I downloaded Dr. Fone.......after he called me and asked if he could buy a shirt at a department store (in his hometown where the 2 main OW live.....this incident was with "the love of his life")....literally a few minutes later they both went in the dressing room. Just lovely huh? By the way......it was their first time. Yeah.

[This message edited by sfwife at 11:27 PM, June 9th (Thursday)]

It was very long term. First side of road in back of my van with my kids booster seats. Migrated to my house, home theater,guest bedroom, living room floor, basement game room on chairs, then my bed. She wanted fucked there an his selfishness didn't care. Let me lie in their filth in my sheets. He ducked her a few times at her house and later apt. And her betrayed husbands bed. They fucked in multiple vans of ours. SAWS even let her spend th night when our kids were away and I was away overnight, because she's wanted fucked in my bed overnight to pretend she was me.

My high thread count sheets were probably the best sheets she's ever been fucked on.

I'll take an enemy any day if the week over a supposed selfish friend and supposed aunt to my kids. Some friend and aunt

I am gong to sound so shallow here but the thing that has me so screwed up was the sex she had during the affair!

It was dirty and risky! in a car, in my house in the massage plinth, in his medical practice during work hours. and god knows where else!

there was no romance here, he used her like a whore and she acted like one. He probably went to the country club afterwards and told all his mates what he did to "this little piece". Then she pursued him reinforcing the behavior.

two godamn professional people in the medical industry acting like sex crazed teenagers trying to get laid! I want to F%$#*($ destroy him!!!!!

Don't know, but I'm sure it was in the dick car (showy/expensive sports car) he got after they got together at least once. Me and my child were in the car regularly!

I'm torn about wanting to know more and knowing plenty already. Are the made up mind movies any worse than the real ones would be?

The first time at her father's house on the hide-a-bed in the living room under a picture of Jesus. (She later claimed that her boyfriend was in another room at the time with her little child).

The rest of the time they used cheap motels. One was so cheap he couldn't unlock the door to leave and was panicked.

It's stomach-turning.

OW is out of town and she and WH met on business trips.

They did the nasty in hotel rooms in the following cities, and in her apartment in the city she lives in:

New York

Boston

Dallas

Seattle

San Diego

Amsterdam

Milan

They started the A in Paris but didn't f***, just spent the night in the same bed after deciding to pursue adultery together.

I am making it a hobby to take these cities "back." There should be no place on earth that I don't feel comfortable and powerful in, because I am not the one that tainted these lovely places with my trash behavior. I also will not allow these m-fs to foul places like Paris for me.

I have a few cities left to go.

in my house and pretty sure in my bed. Was told that it was just for convenience, and if they would have gone somewhere else that would have shown premeditation and would have been worse.

The first time, at her house in the marital bed

The second time, a seedy f£#k-fest in the woods

Yeah, super romantic and classy.

Well let me think,

1988-first time-first affair, a friend of theirs house, upstairs bedroom

the rest of this affair, in my house, in my bed, with my children home?

1989-second affair, admits to sex at his house, in his bed, won't admit to anything else?

2011-third affair, multiple hotels, 4 I think, 7 visits all on my dime, maybe in his van, my suspicion, they did meet in it, she won't admit to sex

In the beginning it's all you can think about. I obsessed in wanting all kinds of answers. Then, if you actually do find out, it leads to more questions and it really really hurts.

I've been D for almost 2 years now. I'm at a place in my healing where I honestly just don't care who he did, and what or where he did it. He's just someone I used to know who did me really dirty. Once I sell this damned house I will be blessedly free from having any contact with him. For those of you still in the beginning of your journey to healing, I send you hugs and strength. It does get better as soon as you dust yourself off and start moving forward.

In the park.

At customers' houses when no one was home.

At a Victoria's Secret...won't ever go there again.

In his vehicle, which we had to keep for 2 more years.

our gray '01 Suburban .... Don't see many of them around. Yeah right! I see those gray suburbans everywhere. Oh, and the occasional hotel in the afternoon cause he worked nights , oh and when she went on business trip. Oh yeah and did I mention our suburban ?

To put this in context our little problem happened throughout the year 1987. Probably many of you weren't born yet or at least were children at the time. That's the staying power this has had with me.

Anyhow, my W's OM was 8 years older than her. Why does that matter you ask? Well because my W was only 24 at the time. That made him 32 yo. He came of age during the "disco" era in NYC, which was one of the most sexually permiscuos times in history.

So now he's in a bullshit medium sized town in Florida and he's gonna put all his NYC moves on the unsuspecting women down here in naieveville.

Meanwhile this douchebag of the first order of course doesn't have a driver's license because it was taken away due to DUI's. That musta been a pretty good feat in the mud 80's.

So here is what I know. My wife starts taking this slimedog home because her cousin abandons her to cheat on her husband with a different scumbag. So my wife takes him to his (mom's) house and does it with him in the driveway. Lol! Probably at least double or triple the number of times she has admitted to, which is 5 or 6. She doesn't remember.

One time she got to actually go inside his mommy's house for the full experience because his mommy wasn't home. There they did it fully nude in the couch.

If I hadn't mentioned it this douchebag had a taxi business and there seems to be a gray area about doing it in his nasty taxi cab office. Can you picture in your mind how sleezy a cab co office could be?

It's a fucking joke. This fuck can fuck a married woman but he can't spring for some decent accommodations? I've asked my wife if she ever thought of this and I get a blank stare.

Guess the fuck what? When we got married I was broke as a joke but still managed a nice honeymoon in a really nice hotel in St. Augustine. This doosh gets it for the price of a couple drinks..........maybe. She never really did tell me if he bought her drinks in order to "ply" her with alcohol.

Oh and here's the kicker. This big city boy who came here right out of Saturday Night Feverville never once asked my W for oral sex. Oh no they were too busy saying the rosary of course. Oh yeah and I was informed that he had a small penis and she barely felt. Lol!

How insulting to my intelligence.

BTW I had to sell our family car which I, me alone bought her to make it easy to transport our kids.

Couldn't sit in, touch or even look at that car after I found out what went in in there.

Nice story huh?

How on earth can you move forward when your WS has had sex in YOUR BED with AP? It is beyond my comprehension.