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Crickets and call dss soon, he needs to protect dad from crazy. Suggest that he relay bunny boiler status to Docs. Brain convalescents need no crazy. Too much stress.

Gah, I'm sorry. I really am. Talk to lawyer/friend about restraining order or similar. I understand reluctance to cut off someone acting weird. If you cut them off then you wonder what the hell they're up to.

Gah! You've had a lifetime supply of crap. Have a fist bump }{

Sewardak:

And desperation sets in. funny and pathetic. she has no idea who she's dealing with.[/quote

Even better, she has no idea how many pissed off BSs she's dealing with. So awesome to have this crowd standing with me!

So let me get this straight.

She's trying to convince you WH is in contact and you two need to sort this out (ie let me have him, he'd be a great meal ticket.)

But, she doesn't know it was you she was texting.

And she doesn't realized you know her "contact" amounted to "him/you" telling her to f'off.

And she doesn't know he's just had brain surgery which further proves she really isn't in any meaningful contact with him.

Oh dear god I want to be in the room when she realizes what a colossal ass she just made of herself.

Twitchy - you got it. She may have been in contact with WH prior but definitely not from about 6 days ago according to her texts I saw. He certainly wasn't texting from the operating table but I do know he had his iPad with him because he emailed me from it when he was in the care facility, pre-brain surgery. So who knows if they communicate other ways. I don't care.

Spoke to DSS. She is blocked from visiting!

So glad you told DS and that she is blocked from visiting. What was his view of her contact with you?

TOC, you win the so-called "battle" w/OW by not fighting it... elegant and peacefully simple.

(crickets, crickets...)

I wish you much comfort.

Blessings, LA

Also.. I just can't believe the nerve of this woman to be writing to you again trying to hurry you along to do her bidding! Shes not giving this up easily is she. She really does seem like a bunny boiler. For real.

Oh poor candy is confused that you didn't jump to her tune. How special does she think she is?? Crickets is obviously the best way to go as she obviously really doesn't like it!

LOL - if you block her that will really drive her crazy.

DSS called me back. He wanted to clarify with me that his father has conveyed with him from the start he wants nothing to do with OW and has no contact with her. He says he felt I didn't understand that since I mentioned that "if his dad was OK with it and agreed, he might want to block her access to visit him as it could be stressful for him and that she was now reaching out to me." He was troubled that I still thought his dad had anything to do with her anymore. He also wanted to know what her message said so I sent it to him. He asked if I could make sure she was blocked on his dad's FB too because he has posted about his dad. I logged into his account and thankfully, he did have her blocked. So there's that but if he could lie to me, he could lie to DSS, too.

DSS now has her blocked, too. So maybe his dad knows about her message to me already? I told him I had no plans to reply. Hope they do the same. We'll see.

[This message edited by TurnOtherCheek at 6:11 PM, October 31st (Monday)]

TOC, you've done well.

Poor DSS, to whom this whole thing is all so new, so large, and so confusing. I do feel for him. He lost a second family (you/your M to his Dad) quite recently and then all his Dad stuff as well as having to now run interference between Bunny-Boiler and his incapacitated Dad.

Good job of moving Primary to DSS. Very kind to remain local contact. Perhaps, in the fullness of time, that could be moved to his friend, Bob, or another friend? The ones who showed up at Hospital?

Pretty obviously Bunny Boiler hasn't been in touch for a while. Has the divorce filing had time to hit the Public Records section of the local newspaper yet?

Obviously, she is less capable of detective work than are you.

DSS called me back. He wanted to clarify with me that his father has conveyed with him from the start he wants nothing to do with OW and has no contact with her. He says he felt I didn't understand that since I mentioned that "if his dad was OK with it and agreed, he might want to block her access to visit him as it could be stressful for him and that she was now reaching out to me." He was troubled that I still thought his dad had anything to do with her anymore. He also wanted to know what her message said so I sent it to him.

Poor DSS his Dad's stupid actions have cost him his family of you and your children. He is holding out hope (and you can't blame him for that) that WH can make it up to you some how. I am glad that he is now the hospitals primary contact. I hope you have a drama free day today TOC.

TOC you continue to amaze.

I would block her on FB. It bugs me that she can even see that you read her message. She's delusional. She's not worth your time now that you have kindly protected your STBXWH from her.

It's not uncommon for OP to create their own reality in their heads. The married AP may contribute to their delusion, but they often create their own version of the story. My H admitted that he would sometimes say "I wish I didn't have to go" when he was leaving after a late night quickie while the OW cried about how lonely she was. He says that he couldn't wait to get out of there but didn't want to seem "mean". Well, the OW could have spun that to mean that he wished he wasn't married and that he could spend all his time with her.

Where candy got the idea that you are pressuring your STBXH to stay is likely inside her skittles filled head. Just like her idea that she was anything but a quickly tarnished toy.

Block her and let her stew. Or whatever candy does when it starts to melt and break down.

I am sorry for what this OW is putting you through. She sounds exactly like XWH#2's OW with the contacting me when things with XWH were not going so well. After 3yrs she finally did enough she got him. Lucky her.

I agree with the crickets. It is so hard to do when the OW is harassing you. Sounds like she doesn't want to give up. Don't be surprised if STBX winds up with her in the end. Broken attracts Broken. The WS says the stupidest things to the AP to keep stringing them along and then expects the AP to just vanish when the shit hits the fan.

The fact that a grown AP can believe the lies of a married WS who is cheating on their BS for so long shows just how desperate and pathetic they really are. I am glad you are stepping away from the drama. No good will come out of it for you. Your STBX dug himself a very deep hole and it will take him a long time to ever climb out of it, if he ever does. Hopefully when is all said and done he will get the help he needs to live a meaningful life.

I wished they would make a movie that all people had to watch before marriage on what happens when a WS cheats and betrays his spouse. Of course it wouldn't apply to the cheater, because they are so special, you know??? All we can do now is be glad it is not us at this time in our lives making such future altering bad decisions just for some stupid, worthless, ego kibbles. I know all I could say to anyone was it was a shame to throw it all away for nothing but a low-life whore.

For the love of gawd!!! I just got another message from her. No use cutting and pasting but just a note saying she can tell I saw her message last night so wonders when I will reply. Now she's even willing to meet.

Uh, thanks but no thanks psycho!!! I value my safety!

Cricket silence continues

Ok, imo she has now fired a second shot by this second contact with you. I'm a little worried about you TOC. She has A LOT of damn nerve aggressively seeking responses from you. We are joking about bunny broiler, but for real...

At this point, I might consider notifying law enforcement. They will probably give her a warning not to contact you again. I know that sounds dramatic, but I'm giving you a way to start laying the groundwork in case she continues to amp up her behavior. Keep up the crickets, block her. I don't know the laws in your state, but oftentimes it goes like this:

First unwanted contact is kind of a freebie.

Second unwanted contact can now be considered harassment and an restraining order can be considered.

At some point either between the first and second contact it is usually encouraged that the "victim" have informed the harrasser that it is unwanted contact and demand there be no more contact. If the perpetrator then contacts again, it is moving into clear-cut harassment. I'm not in LE, so some may give you better advice on that. But imo this has moved up a notch, she is not going to give up easy.

She is fuming and probably growing more and more angry and feeling rejected. She is going crazy not getting contact from your WH. She is contacting you to gain insight into what's going on with your WH. She wants intel. She wants you to break down or be mad and let things slip that give her an indication into what's going with your WH and between your WH and you. She doesn't want to just BE a threat to you, she wants to KNOW that YOU KNOW she's a threat to you. If she can't talk to him, then she needs ( in her sick mind ) to hear your pain and chaos, that will make her "secure" that you must have been so rejected that yes indeed he really must want her. Oh she is smug....grrrrrrrrr

She is stewing and fuming, there is no doubt. She can't stand that she has been tossed out. She is very bold to contact you, not once but twice within what less than 24 hours? Brazen. Unstable. Delusional. Confrontational. Document document document. Save every single thing she does, in more than one location.

I second the idea of taking the first message from the OW and copying and pasting it into a Yelp review, because she said she didn't want you to share it with WH, but she didn't say anything about not sharing it with the internet...

She's still living the A, because it hasn't been exposed on her end. There is no boss or significant other to tell, therefore, no consequences to bring her out of the fog. Even if your WH tells her it is off, she's still going to justify it by thinking he is doing his duty and that they had bad timing.

Sorry you are here, it sucks, but it does get better.

Now she's even willing to meet.

I got this message also from ow 😂😂😂.

WTF! Why would we want to meet them. So much fucking drama, trying to keep the focus on them. They're not important, why don't they get that?

[This message edited by atalosss at 9:54 PM, October 31st (Monday)]

The mature thing to do is crickets...though I admit, in your shoes, I would be sorely tempted to respond since she is so generously providing the bitch, why not provide the slap.

Speaking of maturity, I don't think that line was a dig at you. It would require a modicum of intelligence for that double entendre and she is clearly lacking.

And what the actual fuck with this:

I care for him very much and want him to be happy. Being the mature woman, I hope you also want just his happiness for him like I do. He should be able to decide w/out pressure.

Umm, who the fuck cares about HIS happiness at this point!

Originally, I was pissed off all over again (for you) because WH gave her some impression of an obligation to you because "he met you first." But she's so delusional she probably concocted and convinced herself of that narrative.

[This message edited by Ilovejoe at 12:00 AM, November 1st (Tuesday)]

Absolute crickets to her personally TOC. It's 'because' she doesn't know what is happening that she is writing to you. She has NO IDEA what is going on but fears that you and your husband may be working it out. That infuriates her, because she wanted to seamlessly slip into your place so she wants to derail that in any way possible and thinks getting inside your head may do it.

She's livid that she's being ignored - especially by you - because she desperately wants you to know how important she is, and that she is your equal with your husband now. Everything she's written implies that.

Shame for her that it shows she has no idea about what is actually going on. That's why I do believe that your husband has completely cut her off and I think after this little episode, especially now that your step son has the messages, there's no coming back for her with him. In fact wh will probably be able to see her even more clearly than he seemingly does now once he reads the messages - which I have no doubt your step son will show him. I can't see him going back to her myself.

But:

She's still living the A, because it hasn't been exposed on her end. There is no boss or significant other to tell, therefore, no consequences to bring her out of the fog. Even if your WH tells her it is off, she's still going to justify it by thinking he is doing his duty and that they had bad timing.

I absolutely agree with this ^^ too, and so she is passing the blame for him ignoring her onto you. At the moment, for her, you're still the obstacle she has to remove to get the life she wants. Nothing shows that she truly doesn't know what is going on more than that. I'd absolutely out her in some way that affects her life - bring some consequences her way TOC. Especially after her continuing to try to manipulate you. Even if it's only a word from the police or a lawyer about harassment. (Although personally I'd go the YELP review route as well)

Of course don't respond....but if you do try this....

Deer OW,

Thank you so much for reeching out to me. I feel that we are on the same paige. I would consider meating with you if I can pick a public place and have you meat me their. no kneed to fight over him, we can just let him chose between too amazing woman in his life. Stay in touch your an amazing girl, and hes lucky two have such too mature, intaligent women's to choose form. No matter who he chooses, just no that I still have the respect for you that you de-serve.

Sinsearly,

TOC