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Newest Member: SnowyOwl

Just Found Out :
Punch to the Gut

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devotedman ( member #45441) posted at 1:18 AM on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

As well as home alarm and the emergency secret word if the company calls to check.

Also, if gated community then dad revokes permission for her car at the house.

Me: 2xBS b 1962 xWW after 2 decades, xWGF after almost 1.
Amelia Pond: Who are you?
The Doctor: I don't know yet. I'm still cooking.
ENFP-A. Huh.

posts: 5155   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2014   ·   location: Central USA
id 7698352
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Insearchofme ( member #55624) posted at 3:12 AM on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

Hi TOC, I have read every thread on your topic. You are my hero. I wish I had acted with the grace and strength that you have shown here. I'm learning from you! I will tell you that the OW sent me a huge pack of texts spanning her 18 month relationship with my WH. She said that she sent it for "my peace". I engaged...I should not have but I blew up! I was furious with H and needed to know a few time line things. We exchanged texts that at first seemed harmless and then she all of a sudden showed her true bunny boiler self and started threatening to come here (another state) to tell our kids everything because they don't need to be sheltered from this. (In her HO) Once I stopped responding she sent more threats that we needed to talk so she could tell her story and I wouldn't be talking shit about her with my WH. I had him contact an attorney with a cease and desist letter. She actually contacted the attorney to tell him that she has made my WH a "better man". Yes because men who cheat and lie are "better men". ugh. This sucks! Thank you for the inspiration to be strong and hold my head high TOC!

Me BS 49
WH 55
Married 21 years
DD 1 5/27/16 followed by TT
DD 2 10/1/16 OW sends texts of affair
Attempting R

posts: 182   ·   registered: Oct. 16th, 2016
id 7698427
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Drained2015 ( member #48262) posted at 3:23 AM on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

TOC, I'm so sorry that you're going through all this because of 2 people's cruel, selfish actions

My take is that she has no idea what's going on, I think she's clung on to the fact that he ( actually you ) finally replied to her texts, I don't think it's a problem that you sent them, I once pretended to be my H texting his OW from his phone, she had no idea I wasn't him, and I was texting with her for over an hour ( obviously she knew him so well 🙄 she had no idea it was me until I confronted her after about an hour of me playing along. She immediately sent my H some panicky PMs via Fakebook asking him what she should do, and it was me replying to the PMs too, pretending to be him, she was fooled again !!!!! 😂 Soul mates, yeah right 🙄

I get the impression that this is the first time she's received a text from him ( albeit being from you ) and was so giddy she didn't understand what was actually written 😳 she said she would show you facts to prove he'd contacted her this weekend, if she's reread the texts she wouldn't show them to you, but might want to show you her phone bill or whatever, but it's not important, just like she isn't !!!

It makes me wonder if he has tried to break it off with her before ? but if she threatened to tell you he might have felt blackmailed into continuing the A. Still no excuse !!!! You've no idea what they said or what happened when they were betraying you, but maybe she is used to doing manipulative things to keep the A going ?! Obviously this is purely speculation, but I have heard stories where OW goes crazy and threatens to tell the BS if he ends their A. Idiot candy, bleurggghh, might have used these tactics before and she has no idea what's really going on, but she's upped her tactics this time 😳 ?????

As Ataloss said

So much fucking drama, trying to keep the focus on them. They're not important, why don't they get that?

The crazy OW in my friends A story refused to accept the WH didn't want her, she was totally delusional and was downright cruel in her attempts to cause problems for their reconciliation. Be prepared that rotten candy might not back off

Sorry I am no way as witty as Gripper 😂 but I am following and supporting you, you are coping really well, I hope the move goes smoothly and hope you find happiness in your new home, however things turn out

You're doing amazingly well

{{TOC}}}

[This message edited by Drained2015 at 9:25 PM, November 1st (Tuesday)]

posts: 256   ·   registered: Jun. 15th, 2015   ·   location: UK
id 7698439
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 TurnOtherCheek (original poster member #55194) posted at 6:59 PM on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

I went to block OW on FB this morning after agonizing over all the crazy she has caused me most recently. Sure as can be, she got in one last message/dig.

"can't imagine why you don't want all the info I have. If it was me, I'd be dyeing to know just so I know the man I married and what heneeds."

Please excuse what I am about to say but, fuck that bitch! Block. Block. Block!

I have not Yelped her ass yet because as I was going to do that I ran across articles on reviewers being sued by businesses they reviewed poorly. I just want to walk away from it all. Just don't want the drama. She seems litigious. She's definitely a wacko.

Today I'm pissed and trying to get it under control. It's not easy.

Me: BW x 2 - 53
Ist XWH: Married over 17 years, DD and DS (mine)
2nd XH: Also 53, DS (his), 8 yrs together
OW: Pet sitter
D-Day: 9/11/16
Divorced in 60 seconds flat. http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=591733

posts: 441   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2016
id 7698955
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ChamomileTea ( Moderator #53574) posted at 7:11 PM on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

She figures if you know everything, you'll clear off leaving her an open field. She doesn't know you've given him his walking papers already.

BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs); Married 40 years; in R with fWH for 10

posts: 7098   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 7698970
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mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 7:13 PM on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

"can't imagine why you don't want all the info I have.

We KNOW that she doesn't have much information and is fishing to get info from you.

If it was me, I'd be dyeing to know just so I know the man I married and what heneeds."

How SMUG! Just like the OW in my case.

How DARE people just assume that a person cheats because their spouse is not giving them what they need. This makes me beyond furious!

TOC, BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK is right.

Do not let this Slunt into your world any more.

I would however forward this message to your stepson.

BTW, you could always do an anonymous Yelp review. Consider it a public service, preventing her from doing this to another BW in the future.

Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2687   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 7698971
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 7:18 PM on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

OK I thnk it's hysterical that she is spinning her wheels trying to piss you off, and hurt you, while she is clueless as to his current situation, broken from top to bottom.

I just wonder what she will do when she finds out he is.....Be sure to let the rehab center he goes to know the situation and that she is unwelcome, they love photos to id folks with.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 7698976
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 TurnOtherCheek (original poster member #55194) posted at 7:32 PM on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

Tushnurse she's already on the blocked list at facility but no pic. Does that mean she could get by? Well, not really for me to worry about but DSS told them not to let her in. I don't plan to send this message to DSS. No good can come from it and not like I'm trying to get WH to see the error in his ways anyway. I'm just pissed this woman thinks she can tell me what my WH needed. The fucking nerve of her!.

Me: BW x 2 - 53
Ist XWH: Married over 17 years, DD and DS (mine)
2nd XH: Also 53, DS (his), 8 yrs together
OW: Pet sitter
D-Day: 9/11/16
Divorced in 60 seconds flat. http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=591733

posts: 441   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2016
id 7698991
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atalosss ( member #47882) posted at 9:06 PM on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

WTF! Did she even graduate from highschool? Now you know why she walks dogs for a living!

"You can't ride two horses with one ass" Channel66

posts: 1098   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2015   ·   location: canada
id 7699100
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atalosss ( member #47882) posted at 9:10 PM on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

I'm "dyeing" of laughter 😂😂😂😂!

"You can't ride two horses with one ass" Channel66

posts: 1098   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2015   ·   location: canada
id 7699102
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Goldenoldie ( member #48562) posted at 9:21 PM on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

You started off strong. Stay strong. I not only blocked every version of my husband's name..I blocked every version of OW's name! Every time I want engage, guess what? I can't. Good for me.

posts: 185   ·   registered: Jul. 12th, 2015
id 7699115
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shareonhearts ( member #52869) posted at 11:01 PM on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

Hi TOC

I have been reading EVERY word of your story. I'm so proud of you and admire your inner strength. I say block that bitch from every avenue you can think of.....Low life like her get off on the ugly drama. I also want to thank you for sharing your humor and wisdom along this journey. I've laughed and cried.......

Fool me once shame on me......Fool me twice shame on YOU!

posts: 190   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2016   ·   location: California
id 7699232
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HardyRose ( member #55069) posted at 11:55 PM on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

Block her TOC. Leave her dyeing to find another way to convince herself she is special and important!

posts: 923   ·   registered: Mar. 27th, 2016
id 7699278
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Insearchofme ( member #55624) posted at 1:12 AM on Thursday, November 3rd, 2016

Can someone please post the link to the male version of TOCs posts? I think it was Spaceghohst?

Me BS 49
WH 55
Married 21 years
DD 1 5/27/16 followed by TT
DD 2 10/1/16 OW sends texts of affair
Attempting R

posts: 182   ·   registered: Oct. 16th, 2016
id 7699338
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HardyRose ( member #55069) posted at 1:44 AM on Thursday, November 3rd, 2016

Insearchofme here is the link to Spaceghosts thread - http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=552588&HL=46539

posts: 923   ·   registered: Mar. 27th, 2016
id 7699362
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Oftencheatedon ( member #41268) posted at 3:21 AM on Thursday, November 3rd, 2016

I guess I am just a vengeful bitch - because I would have told the OW that I was bowing out and she was free to have him.

And then I'd have brought her up to date on WH's situation and sent her to the hospital/rehab place to go "comfort" him. I would not have protected him from her.

posts: 1274   ·   registered: Nov. 7th, 2013   ·   location: AL
id 7699425
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wordsofwisdom ( member #54083) posted at 4:19 AM on Thursday, November 3rd, 2016

TOC, reading your posts I have a feeling that deep inside you are strongly inclined to reconcile with your WS. I don't know if you are seeing a therapist. If you do so, I would definitely raise this point.

One day discovered my wife chasing her old sweetheart. Wished her good luck and moved on to better things and people.
Divorced: Jan 2010

posts: 550   ·   registered: Jul. 11th, 2016   ·   location: East Coast
id 7699457
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 TurnOtherCheek (original poster member #55194) posted at 4:28 AM on Thursday, November 3rd, 2016

WoW,

TOC, reading your posts I have a feeling that deep inside you are strongly inclined to reconcile with your WSF

No. I'm divorcing him. I am concerned that he gets well and part of that is keeping him in a safe place and can heal. After that, he's on his own.

I made it to a yoga class tonight so feel much better than earlier today. Thank goodness. This roller coaster really takes its toll on us, doesn't it?

Me: BW x 2 - 53
Ist XWH: Married over 17 years, DD and DS (mine)
2nd XH: Also 53, DS (his), 8 yrs together
OW: Pet sitter
D-Day: 9/11/16
Divorced in 60 seconds flat. http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=591733

posts: 441   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2016
id 7699460
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Tearsoflove ( member #8271) posted at 4:45 AM on Thursday, November 3rd, 2016

TOC,

Sit down and take some deep breaths. What she is sending is her desperation. Though the words appear cocky, she is really pleading with you to contact her. She needs attention desperately and isn't getting it from him so she is focusing on you. Of course, she can't say "Please, please contact me. I need drama. I need attention. I need to be made relevant because without attention from someone, I know I am nothing." So, instead, she says words she hopes will incite you and force you to make contact.

If he won't contact her, she needs you to because without someone reinforcing her importance, she will have to face the fact that she just isn't important. Nothing says you are nothing better than...nothing. This is why she ramped it up. "Desperation is a stinky cologne"~ Super Troopers.

Let go of your anger. If anything, you should feel sorry for her. She is pathetic in every way a person can be and she proves it repeatedly. She isn't worth the energy it takes to feel anger.

As for the review, if you don't lie in the review and if you clarify anything that can be considered your opinion as just that, it would be difficult to mount a lawsuit. Free speech protects your opinion and the truth is not slander. Those who wish to have good reputations in the business world would do wise not to use their business contacts to procure their sexual partners, don't you think?

"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson

posts: 6078   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2005   ·   location: Southeast
id 7699473
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susieque2 ( member #49694) posted at 4:52 AM on Thursday, November 3rd, 2016

Tearsoflove ---

Well said ---

We are all spiritual beings having a human experience!

posts: 450   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2015   ·   location: The World
id 7699479
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