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Newest Member: SnowyOwl

Just Found Out :
Punch to the Gut

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Ginny ( member #43196) posted at 11:53 AM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

Gipper, that's priceless!

BW49
FWH50
DDay 11-02-13
Married 30 years
2 month PA/EA with COW
DS28
Trying to R

posts: 1027   ·   registered: Apr. 22nd, 2014
id 7697754
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atalosss ( member #47882) posted at 1:33 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

gipper yiu made my dey, I howeld at tthatt;

😂😂😂😂😂😂

"You can't ride two horses with one ass" Channel66

posts: 1098   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2015   ·   location: canada
id 7697790
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 TurnOtherCheek (original poster member #55194) posted at 1:59 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

Gipper - you see, it's hilarious support like yours that gets me through this with my sanity intact!!!! Damn that's good and funny stuff. Thanks for that. I needed it big time today.

It's moving day so probably not much time to be here. I worry a wee bit that psycho OW drives by and may see the moving truck but nothing I can do about that. Just good to be busy to keep my mind off the circus that swirls around my life. It could be a sad day but time to get up, get going and power through it.

Onward and upward!

Me: BW x 2 - 53
Ist XWH: Married over 17 years, DD and DS (mine)
2nd XH: Also 53, DS (his), 8 yrs together
OW: Pet sitter
D-Day: 9/11/16
Divorced in 60 seconds flat. http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=591733

posts: 441   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2016
id 7697813
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Freeme ( member #31946) posted at 2:15 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

Funny Gipper...

Can't believe she contacted you again. I've changed my mind. I don't think your WH has been in contact with her.

I'm guessing he cut her off and the only way for her to know what's going on is via you. Crickets are driving her crazy.

I'm guessing DSS will eventually share the email with his Dad (When his health permits) and his Dad will be mortified...

[This message edited by Freeme at 8:32 AM, November 1st (Tuesday)]

posts: 2807   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2011   ·   location: Washington DC
id 7697828
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Amazingyetlost ( member #43745) posted at 3:01 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

She is fuming and probably growing more and more angry and feeling rejected. She is going crazy not getting contact from your WH. She is contacting you to gain insight into what's going on with your WH. She wants intel. She wants you to break down or be mad and let things slip that give her an indication into what's going with your WH and between your WH and you. She doesn't want to just BE a threat to you, she wants to KNOW that YOU KNOW she's a threat to you. If she can't talk to him, then she needs ( in her sick mind ) to hear your pain and chaos, that will make her "secure" that you must have been so rejected that yes indeed he really must want her. Oh she is smug....

OutOfTheDeep has this one absolutely spot on. Strength to you TOC

ME: 63 BW
HIM: 62 EA & PA, ten months (madboomer)
Married: December 24th, 2013; he started the A in the months before wedding
D/Day: June 3rd 2014 (karma bus ran them over on OW birthday); NC June 4th 2014
Just sad all of the time

posts: 420   ·   registered: Jun. 17th, 2014   ·   location: Aotearoa
id 7697864
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k94ever ( member #11176) posted at 4:25 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

Love it Gipper!!!!!!!!!

k9

BS:61
WS: 53
Betrayed: 24 years
Affairs: 15 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

posts: 7747   ·   registered: Jul. 3rd, 2006   ·   location: Wisconsin
id 7697931
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Prudence ( member #50647) posted at 4:28 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

Hope the move is going smoothly TOC.

Definitely crickets for candy. If she sees the removal van and then there is no one in the house for the next few weeks as your WH recuperates, she is going to be beside herself. Expect more messages as she more and more desperately tries to find out what is going on.

Maybe it's time to block her on Facebook. You don't need this drama.

"Integrity is doing the right thing when you don’t have to—when no one else is looking or will ever know—when there will be no congratulations or recognition for having done so.”
Charles Marshall in Shattering the Glass Slipper

posts: 294   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2015   ·   location: UK
id 7697934
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Driti ( new member #50195) posted at 4:35 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

I don't post often, but I have been following this thread.

TOC you have my deepest respect.

Stay classy, do crickets ! You have help stregthen me.

To the other posters, some of you have had me laugh so hard, I actually wet myself

THANKYOU !

posts: 26   ·   registered: Nov. 3rd, 2015
id 7697942
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Hopeful30 ( member #44618) posted at 4:45 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

TOC

Good luck on your move. I'm sure that even though you have made this decision it is still heart wrenching as this is not how you thought your life would be 6 months ago. (((TOC)))

Keep no contact. IMHO that first message that she wrote was worded for your WS as she wanted him to know that she wanted what was best for him blah, blah, blah. And of course, telling you not to share it with him was pretty blatant that she wanted you to share it with him.

Her IQ isn't hitting the 3 digit mark. 😉

BS: Me
In reconciliation.
I edit for spelling and clarity
"Do or do not, there is no try." - Yoda

posts: 1027   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2014   ·   location: West Coast
id 7697950
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undertherug ( member #41580) posted at 4:50 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

This woman used to pet sit at your house. Does she still have a key? Even if your WH got it back doesn't mean she didn't make a copy while she had it. Might want to give the son a heads up that the locks may need to be changed.

posts: 1077   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 7697955
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Doesitstop11 ( member #49432) posted at 5:08 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

Maybe she will think you are moving out and on together. Imagine how crazy this will drive her, with no communication from either of you AND no activity at the house. I hope she wears a path in the road from driving by. I don't suppose you have survaliance cameras. Best of luck, you continue to inspire

posts: 174   ·   registered: Sep. 1st, 2015
id 7697965
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yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 5:43 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

Hey TOC. Thought I would chime in for the first time as I don't think anyone has suggested this yet.

Miss Bow Wow lost me at the second email asking for your response. I don't like it. Not one bit. Speaks of desperation, which I also really don't like. You said you don't want drama in your life right? I agree. I have had enough for several lifetimes. This is why I think you should head off some potential drama here.

Crickets. Yep. Absolutely 100% the way to go for all the reasons stated and you know. However, don't stop with that.

Take the emails and send them to your lawyer friend. Chances are she can most likely do absolutely nothing with them. But what you can do is start to build a file with them and get a plan in place if Miss Bow Wow should go complete bunny boiler on you as we have seen here on SI a few times over the years. SWAT and SoSorry come to mind. It's the desperation tone of that second email that I don't like.

Your friend might have some ideas as to what can be legally be done going forward if she were to send something else or worse show up in person at some point. Maybe your lawyer friend, or another legal friend she may have can even head off Miss Bow Wow by firing a warning shot to squash any possible future outburst. Bottom line, this is about protecting yourself.

Again, you may not be able to do anything yet but good to get legal advice and a plan in place. It could absolutely be nothing and me being overly sensitive to crazy... which I no doubt am. I've picked a fight or two with a few crazy bullies in my life recently. I did so to protect myself, cut the drama, and oh yeah... right a few wrongs.

Good luck to you TOC and keep moving forward.

yop

"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

posts: 4519   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Northeast US
id 7697992
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Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 6:09 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

Maybe she will think you are moving out and on together. Imagine how crazy this will drive her, with no communication from either of you AND no activity at the house.

I was thinking this as well and I love it! She has been blocked from WH's phone (after YOURs and her text exchange - and she does not know it was you), so she is fully aware she's been told by "WH" to pound sand...a day later she writes the first missive to you...

Yes...desperation...and I agree with posters who are suggesting that you inform your attorney of these developments so he/she can provide advice and hopefully, a cease & desist letter.

[This message edited by Lalagirl at 12:09 PM, November 1st (Tuesday)]

2025: Me-59 FWH-61 Married 41 years grown daughters- 41 & 37. 1 GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); Five grands ages 15 to 8. D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant

posts: 8905   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2007
id 7698007
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 6:19 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

Get the locks changed. Just for peace of mind, esp since he is in a facility for the next however long. Last thing you want is him being unable to return home d/t her doing damage to something.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 7698015
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Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 6:27 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

Get the locks changed.

Agreed!

2025: Me-59 FWH-61 Married 41 years grown daughters- 41 & 37. 1 GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); Five grands ages 15 to 8. D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant

posts: 8905   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2007
id 7698027
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 TurnOtherCheek (original poster member #55194) posted at 6:30 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

Gosh SI family, you have given me a A LOT to think about. DSS is here with me while movers are doing their thing and I have shared your ideas. He plans to change locks today so great info and thanks for passing that along. I've been scouting outside for OW but so far have not seen anything unusual. I'm not afraid of her but I do agree - she could be acting out of desperation now and that's never a good thing. I think it's so funny she would want my life. Fuck, if this is what it's like from here on out, she can have it!!! :)

I will inform my attorney about the OW contact and send her the messages, get her opinion. Always good to have on file just in case.

I think I kicked the hornet's nest when I engaged in that text conversation with her via WH phone. The take-away here is to NOT ENGAGE! Crickets, crickets, crickets. I think this time around, I brought this on myself. Not. Smart.

Let this be a lesson to all of us.

Me: BW x 2 - 53
Ist XWH: Married over 17 years, DD and DS (mine)
2nd XH: Also 53, DS (his), 8 yrs together
OW: Pet sitter
D-Day: 9/11/16
Divorced in 60 seconds flat. http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=591733

posts: 441   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2016
id 7698032
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SI Staff ( Moderator #10) posted at 8:12 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

HouseOfPlane - You have a PM.

posts: 10034   ·   registered: May. 30th, 2002
id 7698107
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HardyRose ( member #55069) posted at 10:05 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

Gipper that is hilarious!

I don't think you should accept responsibility for the crazy OW TOC. WH hadn't responded to her since DDay and then when you are in the house she texts him; and mentions you are there?? I think she did a drive by, saw your car and panicked that you two were getting back together. Then after your text exchange you blocked her on WH's phone so she really had no way of contacting him. So she contacted you to try and find out what is going on.

I hope the move goes well and you can make your new spot a little oasis from the stress.'

posts: 923   ·   registered: Mar. 27th, 2016
id 7698206
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whymeagain8 ( member #55187) posted at 10:23 PM on Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

Haha .. Yay Gipper.

Seriously, crickets. That was the most painful message to read. Painful. The typos, the sentences, the words....everything.

She is going to go crazy. Chirp, chirp, chirp. What a dingbat.

My STBX cheated with a woman I thought had integrity and intelligence. She has a masters degree and manages a childrens cancer clinic at a major hospital. She still had no problem sleeping with the father of her sons' best friends despite the fact that my STBX has turned out to be more like Candy (unemployed and less intelligent each year).

The OWs come in all shapes and sizes so don't be fooled. I too want to stay as far away from Jerry Springer as possible.

My STBX brought it right to our door by cheating within our friendship circle. Our break-up is the daily gossip of half the town.

posts: 259   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2016
id 7698227
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ICaughtThem ( member #45041) posted at 12:42 AM on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

If you have a keypad for the garage door opener to get in through the garage, don't forget to change that code as well.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.

posts: 605   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2014   ·   location: USA
id 7698338
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