SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Anne, thanks for the info. I wonder why morons get pleasure from getting on sites like this. People come here who are hurting, or hav been a bs/ws and try to help.

Yea this thing has gotten strange and unbelievable. The story of how he got the meeting with the wife makes no sense. Why the pretense was needed at all isn't clear and how he knew a friend of her's was even looking for a job?

Personally, I took the pretense was to avoid her husband catching something off from her.... and how he would know a friend of hers was looking for work.... might be because his wife works closely with her husband (that's known) so I'm sure her "casual" conversation with him come up ....

I do mostly lurking here and on no soliciting, and it seems that when ever someone is determined to divorce and blow it up in a grandiose way... then people begin to doubt the person and openly question them.... almost to the point of calling them a liar.... and I have agreed at times...

but several things here make it different... one his facts haven't materially changed.. second he hasn't been all about him (see posting traffic - obviously he is reading and supporting others), but biggest for me the most extreme items that he said and really made people upset he backed off on... not because they were man but because people pointed out the legality of it...

For me.... he is very angry about what has happened to him, yet he has shown signs of wanting his wife back...but he is ANGRY, and what he has seen (videos) can't be unseen...

I have never been there and prey to God above I never will!

[This message edited by SI Staff at 6:12 PM, March 24th (Saturday)]

What caught my attention was the BS allowing him complete access to her computer...financial records, credit cards, personal conversations?

I don't know anyone who would give anyone access to their home computer...

Sorry, I still think something is off.

I don't know anyone who would give anyone access to their home computer...

Unfortunately it happens every day. Some people give remote access to their computer to a total stranger who calls and tells them that there's some "security" issue. There are people who fall for scams all the time.

A person who truly got gobsmacked with the knowledge that their supposedly loving spouse cheated might easily do something like this. Just because you or I would not be so gullible doesn't mean that there are hundreds of people out there who are.

I don't necessarily think that the cheating wife is going to blow up his phone, etc. She may just go into hiding in shame.

Ahh jeez, what is with these running commentaries?

Omg, something happened, let me log in, tell the group, ask what should I do, come back, didn’t listen, new wrinkle, omg, something else happened....

I just truly hope and pray for these people. Their issues go far beyond moving out of infidelity.

Just cause he was banned from a different site doesn't mean he is a troll and I'll give the guy the benefit of the doubt. He probably meant she let him copy everything off the PC pertaining to the A. And she was most likely helping him.

The other point is that everyone handles or has handled their response to an A differently. Some guys & gals are matter of factly and have everything laid out as to what they are going to do & sit back and have a cup of tea while watching the their handy work in motion.

Others are in total distress, haven't got a clue what to do, where to go, and who to talk to & without some guidance from the good people here on SI would end up with a much worse off situation.

And then there are the ones that the minute the A is discovered go ballistic and scorched earth before the second page on SI. The really angry ones. These people also require guidance or as in a lot of situations there could be a much worse off situation in the works.

Show me a smoking gun and I'll call them a troll. Other than that I'm here to listen to what people have to say and help them get thru their shit show as much as I can.

Since discovering, a few weeks ago, I’ve tried to be the ideal husband to try and get her to think about what she is losing.

I just ordered a small bouquet a flowers to be delivered to her at work Friday Morning. The card will read “Have a great weekend. Will miss you.”

2018MLMM

Commonly the WS uses the excuse that the BS wasn’t attentive enough. Therefore the affair happened to fill the void.

The OP actions were an effort to lessen or take away this excuse to give her pause. His WW didn’t feel guilty enough to cancel her f@ck fest.

THEREFORE:

She has made her choice and so have I.

She is getting served today.

2018MLMM

IN ADDITION:

about an hour ago, my son sent her a text letting her know what time we can expect him to be home today.

She said she won't be able to see him until Sunday evening, and hopes he can stick around until she returns from her conference because she misses him. (She hasn't seen him in almost a month! what type of person picks getting laid by a pos over seeing their child??

2018MLMM

It’s true that she was not told that if you go this weekend you will lose your family but it’s very clear who she preferred to be with.

It’s true that she was not told that if you go this weekend you will lose your family but it’s very clear who she preferred to be with.

Does one have to spell out everything? If I put a gun next to someone's head and pull the trigger I am either going to go to prison or be put to death. Does someone need to send me a specific message to tell me that?

I trust AnnB and notanotherchance. Troll ? I don't know but in my opinion, let's allow the story to play out and assume it's real because if it is, this guy really needs help and assistance. If not real, someone can come on here and see the story as though it's real and adapt measures he and us come up with in the future. There is no downside in letting this play out. So let's let it play out.

I am assuming this guy is real at this point because there is no downside in case he's not. Let's not chase him off.

2018, how did the service of papers go ? How are you ?

I Really do question how the OBS totally opened up to a stranger and then FOLLOWED the same game plan to not immediately confront, but yet sent a text that she was called into work?

Who, on earth, would do that?

I Really do question how the OBS totally opened up to a stranger and then FOLLOWED the same game plan to not immediately confront, but yet sent a text that she was called into work?

Who, on earth, would do that?

Maybe someone who just found out her husband is cheating and she can’t think. Here is someone with a plan so she just deferred to him - do you remember that feeling when you JFO? I know I did a lot of things “wrong” while I was reeling from discovery.

Let’s focus on helping 2018 - give him the benefit of the amazing support that so many BS have found on SI.

I’m sorry hardy,

She met with this guy under the guise of a lie, supposedly saw proof of her husband having an affair, invited stranger into house and allowed access to computer, then agrees to send a false message to her husband in order to go along with stranger mans plan?

Ok.

Just my two cents.

When people get sucker punched and betrayed by the ONE person you never thought would do this to you there's a lot of crazy/illogical thinking going on and thus doing stupid shit.

What if this guy isn't a troll, and he's actually going through this, and as outlandish as some of the angles of the story might appear OP is right in the middle of this storm and he came here looking for help?

So a lady who just found out her H has been screwing around on her did something crazy (letting the other BS into her home and get some private info off their PC)?

If OP is a troll shame on him.

That said it would seem to me that this guy (or any other member who comes here) deserves the benefit of doubt.

Well, I think it’s been 9 pages of the benefit of the doubt and absolute support of so many members here.

The inconsistencies are glaring though.

I’m an old guy and I wouldn’t know an ogre from a troll. This is all pretty new to me.

But just an observation:

On arguably one of the most difficult days of his life 2018MLMM posted 17 times today on a variety of threads with short comments.

Why? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Answer: So he could p.m. He now has 51 posts. I had sent him just a one line p.m. last night of support no matter what unfolded today. He p.m. me back today to simply say thank you.

Just an observation.

He also has many posters on another website where he started a new thread after his last posts were shut down for being a troll.

I mean I love the support given here, just hate when it’s taken advantage of.

it's easy to call someone a troll. And who knows who is and isn't.

I agree with Booyah.

Look, if you think this guy is a 'troll', just leave the thread.

If he is for real and we are calling him 'a troll', then we are hurting someone who needs help.

I think people here need to chill at this time

Edit: not worth it. I'm out

[This message edited by GoldenR at 10:45 PM, March 23rd (Friday)]