SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

He just posted in the Wayward forum asking Mrs. Walloped for advice with the hell coming his way tonight. Seems legit.

Golden R, that’s gross

Don’t have time or energy to respond or read your text.

According to FriendFinder, she is returning.

Quick summary.

Pos’s wife shown proof

She is staying at a friends tonight but told pos she was called into work.

Yes, I copied a bunch of photos and videos from her pc. Did search of *.jpg, *.png, etc. she was next to me entire time. I then told her she might want to hide the computer until she could look through it closer. I unplugged and took pc out to her trunk.

We exchanged cell numbers and said we would be available by cell if anything else came up or was discovered.

And that was he easy part of the day!

Went home and told the kids. Told them that their mother is currently having an affair, and that I sent her divorce papers to try and get her to wake up. I told them that I do not know yet if we are going to divorce or not, but no matter what, we both love each of them and will always be there for them.

There were of course questions, most of which I said they would have to ask her.

The one that will stick out the most was when son ask if she was with the guy now and I said yes. He then said that he texted her that he was on his way home and he said that he now knows that she is picking pos over being with her own son.

As expected, lots of tears.

According to friendfinder she is about 30 minutes away from here. I’m preparing myself, trying to remember that from this point on, I’m driving the bus, not her!!!

Holy cow, what a day you've had!

Your wife: was served with D papers, gets a text from son saying "you suck you cheater", has OM's wife informed.

Ouch, that's a bad start to the weekend.

2018,

Did you hear from the lawyer that she was successfully served? Did he let you know what happened when she found out?

Good luck with the confrontation tonight. I assumed you meant she was on her way home when you said 30 miles away. Please stay as calm as you can. Especially if your kids are there.

I think you will need to set up Individual therapy for all of you starting next week. This will be very difficult to work through.

You will get a lot of stories tonight. Most will not be true. She’s in a fog and will likely take some time to come out of it.

You never gave background about what your marriage has been like that past few months or years, but remember, cheating is never a valid answer for a troubled marriage. Don’t let her pin it all on what you’ve done or haven’t done in the M.

Good luck.

[This message edited by Stevesn at 11:46 PM, March 23rd (Friday)]

ok I am game. I tend to believe this guy and think he's doing a good job. If anyone has any info to disprove this to me, send me the link PM and I will gladly exit stage left.

If not, STFU and let this story unfold.

Maybe he is a troll. Maybe he's not but the last time I checked, calling someone a troll without evidence is against the rules here.

Not taking everyone's side over his or his over anybody's but if you are wrong by calling him a troll, it's on you if you chased him away. Meanwhile I haven't taken sides and I am sitting here waiting on each side to crack. I don't know but the old saying is if you 'assume' , you make an ass out of u and me.

Sadly, some of those who think he is a troll are some of my favorite posters on this board and he may very well be. But if he's not......then what

Calling out a member violates the guidelines. Stop with the troll accusations and debate. If you can not stay on topic and offer constructive advice/support then stay off the thread.

MLMM - sending you and your family lots of strength. Don’t reveal your sources and don’t accept any blame for your wife’s affair.

Hope you are ok.

Rosie

2018MLMM I believe you and I am on your side👍

Sending you strength brother

I am sorry if you feel dumped on. Sadly there are trolls on any site or blog where people are allowed to give opinions. In fact several well known advice columnist got the same letter and responded not knowing about the others. A young man bragged about doing this several times.

I hope you managed to get through the day and night without too much drama. I hope your kids are ok.

Take care of yourself.

Just woke up from a refreshing 2 hours of sleep after a very fun night.

It was what you expected

Denials

Accusations of me misunderstanding her

Tears

Yadda, yadda, yadda

I have never hated anyone or anything so much!!!!!!

Wtf!!!!!!!!!!!

Denials

How did she deny the fake conference trip with her BF?

Hi 2018

You seem to be a man of few words. I understand. Talking about this shit is difficult. However the more you can tell us the more we can help.

Regardless, your boys are going to need a lot of support this weekend. And the two of you are going to need lots of time to talk. You’ll have to be wary of that and try to balance those needs.

I still think it’s important that you set up IC for all 4 of you, regardless of whether you D or R eventually. You’ll all need to have someone just for you to confide in and work thru the pain and issues.

You obviously have the lawyer thing in hand so that is good.

It will take a while to sort this all out. Depending on how she reacts, Defensive or Remorseful, Truthful or Denying, you may decide that you can see a path to Reconciliation and want to try it. I know seems unlikely right now. But it happens.

If you do, you will need to set up a list of requirements for her to even consider trying it. That will include transparency of electronics. Quitting her job and finding a new one. Letters of apology. Timeline of events of the A with details. No Contact with the AP including a NC letter you approve that describes what a poor choice this was.

We can help you with ensuring this list is complete and well suited for you.

In the meantime, you are a long way from making that decision. Until she starts seeing him for the POS he is and the POS she has been for putting you through this, there will be no chance of R. So in the meantime, Get rest, exercise and make sure you get nourishment including enough water. You’re in for a wild ride.

And again, if you can Expand on things a little more, we can help you more.

Take care.

2018MLMM,

I belive you have done the rigth thing! No Matter if you decide to R or keep the D path.

IMO you should consider 4 things:

DO NOT ENGAGE WITH HER. She Will try to justify and explain her doings. It is point less to have arational conversation about the A with her at this moment. Nevertheless even if you continue the D path, you may need to know more about the A ,some people need It other dont, ask her yo do a time line for you clousere and Cross check It with OM wife. No Matter what do 180, this id not yo get her back, this is for you yo detach.

DO NOT BELIVE A THING SHE SAYS. She is a proven lyer, Will try to TT, valle shitf, gasligth. She is un Survivalmode not just for her marriage (maybe It is / was an exit affair) but to save face, relatio with kids, protect OM. Also do not assume the A is over just because the exposure you made and her telling so.

TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED. Dont have to hurry, dont have to R, dont have to D eather.

Do what you feel rigth and for the rigth motives, just do it when you are sure about It. Rigth now you are in a emotional rollercoaster. Do not promisses any thing.

THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. cheating is nos a consequence, is a choise. It is neather a mistake, it is an informed desicion made and planned everytime. No Matter what you have done there is always other way.

Good luck

Ok. So I assume she came home ? Tell us what happened

Did I miss something? You went from talking to your children to saying friend finder states she is coming home? What is friendfinder? Did she actually get served and then heads straight home without any contact? She never picks up the phone to talk to you? That’s why I’m thinking I missed some part of this post?

By the way, people on here talking about trolls, etc, should just get off this site and stop reading if they think that’s what’s happening.

If someone has so much free time to make up stories and scenarios (as you are being accused of) then I feel sorry for,them. Who would do such a thing? Maybe an ex who is trying to get revenge or something but clearly In this situation there is no ex .... yet.

I wish this was a fictional story because it’s very sad for all involved. However, for the person living out this nightmare, I wish you well.

Thank you for all of the positive and supportive comments, to the others, well thank you for at least reading.

I’m going to stop posting on this thread.

To satisfy the voyeurs here,

Wife blew up my phone after she was served at the hotel. I new she was because the law firm sent their pi up there to verify.

I broke radio silence after I couldn’t take it anymore, I simply texted “I know”

I watched her come home with an app on my phone that alllows all family members to see where everyone else is.

When she got home she denied, denied, denied, until I showed her one of the videos.

Kids hate her, son had big blowout with her because she chose to go away with pos instead of seeing him as he has not seen his mother in close to a month.

Kids said they will no longer refer to her as mom. If they do call her anything, they call her by her first name.

I called her sister to come and pick her up probably after 2am

She has been blowing up my phone again today, but have not responded

There will be no reconciliation!!!!!

Thank you once again, and I wish everyone here nothing but happiness in their lives. Good luck

It is truely sad that so many people who have shown support for others... show either a lack of support or trust for this man who is suffering...

Why????? Not sure, but what I did see was people being mad that their (or other's) "valid" questions are not being answered. That he was to angry..... it almost seemed that some people (more so on no soliciting, but also here) seemed to approach him as if he was some misogynist, instead of an extremely hurt man who's life is shattered.

So many people on this site say they wish they did this or that, but they reacted on emotion or held back... and so many people advice to keep your powder dry...

He did and he was slammed for it!!!

What I find outrageous is the SHOCK & OUTRAGE than he would want to tell his children face to face... to be there and hold them if they needed it. To be the rock solid foundation that they need as their reality is shifting.... Ya know... they same thing so many people come here for!!

Why do I find this outrageous... because from the anger I read in these people responses, I honestly believe that they would have taken the complete opposite view if he chose to let DS1 stay at college and wait to tell him when he got home, call/email, or any other way he could have done it.

Read through this thread and you will see loyal supporters of dance along the line of the rules and even break them, and to me it seems because he was different and he was really angry. I WOULD BE FUCKING RAGING IF I WERE HIM!

If you want a better perspective first read his 2 threads on no soliciting and how people attacked him there and you might get a perspective as to why hi might have ignored some questions or approaches to him. That doesn't make it the SI members fault, but is it not our purpose to be supportive here?

By the very fact people are here we know there is a problem and not everyone responds to problems the same! We all need to expect people will not react in the silo formats we are use to...

In the end nobody is perfect! But this was a man filled with rage he wanted revenge and he needed to vent.... and he did! And people did not react kindly to him.... but he listened and continued to post even through the shade being sent his way (calling him out on every detail that"just didn't sound right", because they have never worded something incorrectly in their life, "it depends on the meaning of the word IS"). Along with the hate others gave sage advice... and he took it!

Although Friday was the worst day of his life (maybe second to discovering the info), he handled it like a champ! He was there for his children, exposed to the spouse (effectively), served her so that she knew she was caught "Red Handed", and through her reaction was able to decide his future. I'm not sure how many people caught his actual desire to R, although it was small it seemed strong and it all hinged on the reaction denial and the desire dies remorse or even pre-remorse regret and the desire grows.

And now this man who is hurting as badly as any member here has, feels the need to leave at the very time period he will need our support the most. This is where memories of the past flood the mind! All the good times and "should have been" tear at the soul. Where doubt, fear, and weakness feed of the carcass of a dead love!

I challenge every poster to this thread to look back at your posts and answer to yourself whether you were true to the purpose you feel you have on this board. I'm sure there will be some who will feel they are perfect, but that might point to a need for greater self reflection because no one is!

I may have rambled a bit, perhaps jumped arround but this has been like an ulcer eating at me. Now i don't feel desire to proof read (even though I should)

MLMM, if I wish I could meet you and be a friend to you in this time of need! Don't turn your back on the board many people here want to help a support you! Stay strong, please know we are here fore you!

[This message edited by SI Staff at 6:04 PM, March 24th (Saturday)]

Hmmm. Now is exactly when you need a forum like this the most. This is when the hard part begins.

I’m confused why you’d leave now. We can help you manaage the difficult emotional roller coaster ride you and your boys are about to embark on.

And if you are serious about D, there’s a wealth of experience to be found here on the D/S forum to help you navigate those choppy waters.

And finally you never know where your mind will go under these awful circumstances. You may find after you go thru the several stages of grief that R is a real possibility. If so there’s a forum dedicated to those who feel a chance is what their WS deserves.

Only someone who wasn’t serious about this whole ordeal to begin with would leave the helpful knowledge found within this virtual walls. I’m sure that’s not you....

So let’s get to work, together.

2018MLMM, praying for you and your children.

I know you're hurting right now, and it's sad that at a time when you need people to lean on for support you no longer feel coming to SI can provide you this given the negative comments.

I hope that you will reconsider coming here, but if you don't I certainly understand and respect your decision. I pray that you have a trusted friend(s) that you can confide in and lean on during this time?

Hang in there and I hope that you and your children find the peace that you will be seeking.

Stevesn,

You are proving my point!

Someone who's sincerity and authenticity is constantly questioned, by a group isn't likely to turn to them for support when they need it most.

Although I'm sure you meant well and didn't mean it that way, but your post reads more like a back handed compliment as it ends with you calling him out on his sincerity.