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Home From Deployment to Hell

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SCARLETT94 posted 4/13/2018 07:14 AM

You have many people here supporting you.
No matter what I know this can't be easy.

MidnightRun posted 4/13/2018 07:22 AM

And remember, they usually affair down. In your case, she definitely affaired down.

LtCdrLost posted 4/13/2018 07:41 AM

Thank you all for the kind messages of support and with only one exception, your kind PM's of support. The plan of the day is going kinetic within the hour, I cleared the Duty I took on last night 30 minutes ago. That was a good move on my part, anyone's discipline can slip, and my urge to confront face to face was very strong yesterday afternoon.
Once I get the morning's activities at my former house accomplished I'm going to confirm that whore wife is being served this afternoon and I'm moving the visit to her parents up to today. I'd like to be there as close to simultaneously as possible with that.
I'm putting in for a 14 day chargeable leave beginning next Wednesday and getting out of Dodge for awhile. I've decided I don't even want to see her face again beyond what might be legally required. You folks be well & take care. I'll check back in when I'm able.

earthangel posted 4/13/2018 07:45 AM

(((LCL))) I wish you strength as you follow through with your plans and I'm pleased you're taking some time for yourself afterwards to allow the emotional fallout to happen.

MrMagnolia posted 4/13/2018 07:49 AM

I think the vacation is a great idea. Just remember we are here if you need us. The emotional fallout from this may take time and that's okay. Regardless, I think you've done about as well as anyone could have imagined for the hand you got dealt. We are all pulling for you.

MidnightRun posted 4/13/2018 07:53 AM

Great on the simultaneity.

HouseOfPlane posted 4/13/2018 07:56 AM

Shipmate, looking good on final...

A comment...a D-day like this is kind of like when you've been in an accident and badly injured or maybe a TIC, and you've got a man down, and you are heads down and focused on what needs to be done to triage yourself and stop the bleeding. Mission accomplished, with the satisfaction that comes along with the effort.

But then there's the backside, where the bones are knitting and the bruises subsiding, and the healing occurs. That's when you've lost the focus that staunching the bleeding gave you, and now it's just you in your head. It's coming.

I'll echo others and suggest talk to people. The chaplain is easy, that's his job, he's trained. Other counselors too. Your teammates, your own family.

Take full advantage of that two weeks off. GO do fun stuff with fun people, but also give the grieving its due. It has to come.

I was going to recommend riding your bike to San Diego if/when you get the orders. Something I always wanted to do.

Anyway, stay strong, but not rigid. The tree that doesn't bend is the one that breaks.

imagoodwitch posted 4/13/2018 08:01 AM

I was a Navy wife in my former life.

Married at that same chapel and stationed in the same area.

I'll be thinking about you today and sending you all the mojo I can muster.

JS84 posted 4/13/2018 08:02 AM

Don't really have much to say except good luck and sorry this happened. You're handling it better than most. And letting the divorce papers be the confrontation was a good move. I wish more BS would do that but it doesn't happen much understandably. Glad you're also taking care of yourself too.

Drowninginitall posted 4/13/2018 08:09 AM

I am in awe of your composure and planning. Hate that youíre here like the rest of us, but getting out of infidelity quickly (however you do it) is the goal. Thereís so much I wish I knew about when I was just finding out.
We are all behind you and a huge THANK YOU for your service. Thank you to all on here that have served and continue to do so. GL with today!

Cooley2here posted 4/13/2018 08:13 AM

Please make sure to stay hydrated. Please eat when you can and sleep when you can. I cannot imagine the guts it took for you to remain focused on your job but thank you so much for honoring your responsibilities. This kind of back stabbing takes down the strongest man. You will get up again. You will be ok.

Booyah posted 4/13/2018 08:20 AM

Good luck today LtC.

Don't want to jump ahead, but as others have pointed out try to enjoy yourself out in S.D.

I don't live there but when I visit a few really good restaurants to check out are:
Duke's (La Jolla) Beautiful view
Jake's (Del Mar) right on the beach
Poseidon (Del Mar) right next to Jake's on the beach

Ginny posted 4/13/2018 08:51 AM

Well best of luck to you today. You know, you have really had an unbelievable advantage in the fact that you have not had to be in contact with your wife during all this planning. I am sure that made things easier than having to lie to her about what you were doing each moment of the day. Most people donít get that freedom as they are trying to contemplate how to end their marriage. I wish you only the best as everything unravels.

MalibuBayBreeze posted 4/13/2018 09:08 AM

I think everything about how you're handling this is amazing! Right down to the date. I'm sure your WW will never look at Friday the 13th the same ever again. Sucks for her.

I can only imagine that your military background has given you the dicipline to get your ducks in a row and keep it together for 4 months while you plan and reach the day of executing those plans. Bravo!

I wish you well, and I admire the determination you show. Please do let us know how today turns out if you can. Best of luck to you, and enjoy that vacation as karma visits your WW.

Last but not least, thank you for your service. 🇺🇸

RockstarDad posted 4/13/2018 09:27 AM

I am sorry this happened to you. Youve made a very good plan. Stick to it. Plan for how you will deal with certain issues when they arise. I would suggest you go to a no contact with her except for the kids and divorce as soon as you can. Ghost the shit out of her on everything else. It will help you detach and on a side note drive her nuts as she will want closure and answers and feelings from you, even negative ones, from you.
Prepare for not knowing her. It was very screwed up talking to mine and seeing that she as a WW was not the same person (like a whole new human being) that I knew days prior. She has been pretending to be someone else for a long time. You will likely not know her after dday. It was like mine died. Its bizarre. Dont try to rationalize with her, she is irrational and won't get it. Her reasons for it you won't understand if she gives them. They will be the lies she told herself over and over to justify what she did. They will be complete BS don't internalize and let them sting.

Again good plan. Stick to it and prepare for the unexpected the best you can and how to deal with it. If you can go to a text only co tact for kids and divorce instead of talking it will give you valuable minutes and hours to cool down formulate thoughts and respond.

I wish you the best of luck. Your going to be better than ever someday. It takes time and it sucks to hear that. Doing the right things noe and talking to someone can speed that up. This will be worse than anything but it gets better.

Loyalty to your family, Duty to your county, Selfless service to you troops, Honor to yourself and your good name, Integrity in everything you do and personal courage to deal with what you are faced with head on.

StillStanding1 posted 4/13/2018 09:46 AM

You are in my thoughts today. Sending you positive mojo along with another sisterly hug. This is going to be one hell of a tough day. I know you will power through. Youíve handled everything amazingly well thus far.

Glad you will take some time for yourself after this. Much needed and deserved.

HouseOfPlane posted 4/13/2018 09:57 AM


Prepare for not knowing her.
This x 200

Mourn the wife that died. This new person just looks like the old one.

[This message edited by HouseOfPlane at 9:57 AM, April 13th (Friday)]

reeling24 posted 4/13/2018 10:18 AM


First, thank you for your service. You and the other people posting that serve, or who have served our country are truly the unsung heroes who should be treated with honor and respect for all that you sacrifice daily.

It pains me to know that this woman could be so low as to abuse the trust, love and faith that you bestowed on her while deployed, fighting for your life and that of your fellow soldiers. It is a truly low and cowardly way to behave.

As for the OM, he is just as low and cowardly as she is. I am in agreement with all here, show the spineless weasel what a real man, filled with honor and integrity, looks like. I'm damn sure he never has seen that when he looks in the mirror.

Please know that I am sending you peace and safety as you maneuver through this and your military career.

Unhinged posted 4/13/2018 10:22 AM

Hey man, I just wanted to drop in, see how you're doing, and let you know that I'm pulling for you. I know that right now your life probably seems SNAFU, but you've got a good head on your shoulders and I think you're handling all of this as well as could be expected. Having the support of your CO and the CMC probably makes things a lot easier, too. That's good to know.

Keep on keeping on, brother. This typhoon will pass, as they all do.

[This message edited by Unhinged at 10:22 AM, April 13th (Friday)]

mchercheur posted 4/13/2018 10:55 AM

Good luck today.

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