Why did she tell you? She admits she never would've told you if it was yours. And she's had no problem deceiving you about the life you've been living.
Why not just lie to you and say it's yours?
I guarantee you there's a reason. Maybe someone else found out, maybe there's something with the OM such as an inherited disease that would show up eventually, maybe she tried to tell him the happy news and he completely shut her down before possibly threatening to expose her.
Exposing him to STDs, carrying on an affair for such a long time, no care or love for OP whatsoever, even admitting she wouldn't have told him if she didn't feel she needed to. I doubt this is coming from her. Something else OP doesn't know might very well be going on.
Ok, first can we not use the term cuck or cuckold, not helpful.
Nobody called him that, it's what his WW literally wants him to be though. Not just an oblivious one but an accepting one, despite what she has done already.
I guess an annulment could be in the cards.
OP pretty clearly stated that it's not just in the cards but might very well be what he's gunning for. The only concern should be for himself and if the 2yo turns out to be his child, his son.
Also while the child is not yours he/she didn't ask to be brought into this and is innocent.
Literally not OPs problem. That's not his kid. He has no responsibility for it nor had he any part in making it. The kid can take it up with his mother and father.
One more thing, many on here say that God allows divorce in the case of adultery. The passage actually states that Moses allowed divorce in the case of adultery due to the hardness of their hearts. Christ was clarifying the law. God prefers repentance and redemption over divorce. If you chose divorce however you would be free to remarry. I'm getting too close to a religious discussion so that's all.
There's quite a bit about adultery in the bible. Cherry picking something that doesn't by any means preclude divorce and even condones it while also ignoring all the rather harsh things in the bible about infidelity to try and convince up to reconcile and take care of the "innocent" kid is incredibly low. You come off as incredibly predator right now.
@director23, the more you write the worse your wife sounds and the more convinced I grow that you should get a test for the 2-year-old and run for the hills.
We had some continued discussions tonight. She made a phone call to the other person and essentially said she does not want him in her life
Look this might sound incredibly harsh but, do you really believe this? Words are cheap, especially if the two are trying to get you to raise their mutual offspring and that's very much what at least your wife is trying to get you to do here. There are zero guarantees they won't carry on or start up again.
Remember, she wanted this guy in her life for a very long time. Between her legs, in her womb. She was fine with catching STDs from him, even exposing you to this danger and then got outright pregnant by him. She had that little care, she didn't even make him wear a condom while you were trying for a child.
he explained to me that she wants me to raise this child she wants me to love her she wants our son to be raised in a good home. She further went on to say that she will have her life ruined because of this and she became very upset in front of our two year old.
This is NOT a remorseful cheater. This is an entitled brat. All she is telling you is what SHE wants. She wanted that affair, she wants you around to raise the kid. She wants you to help her rug sweep and hide this. She wants things and you better goddamn give them to her or she'll get upset because how dare you!
All of this is essential "me, me, me, me!" when she should be desperate to win you back and offer you the world and beyond.
I explained to her that we need
Stop thinking about this as "we". There is no "we" here. There's you and her. She is not on your team, not in your corner. All her behaviour screams she only sees you as someone who can be useful to her and help her ward off the consequences of her own behaviour.
I'm numb and still in shock with the whole situation.
You are in all likelihood in shock. Being cheated on is a traumatic experience that can lead to permanent mental scars and outright PTSD. Your wife took it and ran with it, your case is worse than most by quite a bit.
The worst part? She seems to be trying to use your current state to push ahead. She is making demands, she is telling you how to act, she is fundamentally only thinking about herself.
she has said that she wishes that I would just break everything in the house and leave for a week and come back and we can begin to move on and that is probably the best reaction if I were to have one but I would describe how I should have acted but I think because I know but life is going to go on and I was not at fault for this happening that is the reason why I'm not overreacting.
Let's ignore how it would give her exactly what she wanted. DO NOT do this, absolutely do not under any circumstances do this. It might allow her to spin things, show you abandoned her, the baby and your child, paint you as violent with a short temper.
For what has been dropped on you, you're holding up surprisingly well. Do not let her rush you into anything, do not let her use guilt or the consequences she'll face to try and bully you.
[This message edited by Marauder at 9:16 PM, January 13th (Sunday)]
