SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I went after the POSOM now I might go to jail!

I hate the POSOM ( piece of shit other man ) with every molecule in my body. I sent him to my wifes' store to help him sell something that he needed to sell. That is how he met her, I sent him. I sold his motorcycle and did not charge him anything for doing it. I sold it on consignment and did not charge him a fee. I tried to help him out. After selling his motorcycle for him, he kept coming into the store, just hanging around. He pursued her for three years, coming to her business flirting. Of course she liked it and never told me about him coming to see her.

Well, I took it personal and I had to do something. I have done several shitty things to him over the last year. I just got caught on camera putting spikes on his driveway. I had spikes made that no tire would survive if it were to run over one. These were military grade spikes!

I have to go to court. They charged me with wonton endangerment and criminal trespassing. The wonton endangerment has a maximum penalty of one year in jail.

Was it worth it? Hell yes!

[This message edited by Jimmy1962 at 10:18 AM, February 9th (Saturday)]

I am so sorry that you believe losing your freedom over your wife's lack of boundaries is worth it.

You have been warned about this numerous times.

Let us know if it was worth it after you have served your time or paid your fine. You might change your opinion.

Is your wife willing to wait out the time or will she move on?

Instead of learning to forgive them, you have let this fester and eat at you for almost two years.

You should have divorced her or forgiven her, but you did neither.

Good luck.

I guess it was always a race to see what would get to you first: peace or trouble. Trouble is winning right now. Does the OM have records and/or proof of everything you have been doing? That will hurt your case.

Hoping you find peace.

I had to do something. I could not let another man screw my wife and not have some consequences. Maybe I did not handle the situation correctly but it sure put a smile on my face after putting spikes on his drive. He is lucky, another man may have killed him!

I get the desire for revenge, I really do...but not to the point of crossing the line and possible legal ramifications.

I hope that this ends well for you , but I also hope that you get help through counseling to help you work through this in healthier ways

I had to do something. I could not let another man screw my wife and not have some consequences. Maybe I did not handle the situation correctly but it sure put a smile on my face after putting spikes on his drive. He is lucky, another man may have killed him!

Nothing that you do will undo what was done. I hope that you can move forward now.

IMO you are doing more harm to yourself than posom.

He was taking what your wife was freely giving.

You need a new perspective

This^^^^^

Misdirected.

OM is a player. But your wife only got played because she was IN the game.

What price is there on self-respect people?

How much does it cost a person to reclaim a measure of it from the one that stole it by violating another Man's family and the legitimate head of that family?

How would any of you feel if it had been Jimmy's child that had been hurt physically or sexually by this other man?

What would any of us want to do if that were the case with our own children?

What would we want to do if we felt we were raped or our wife was raped?

[This message edited by Cephastion at 11:44 AM, February 9th (Saturday)]

Keep us updated on how it turns out.

Do you have a good lawyer?

I have a good lawyer. I have never been in any trouble of any kind. I hope that I will get a fine and be put on probation. I hope that I do not have to go to jail. I really do not want to buy that prick a new set of tires. I have said that if I have to buy him a set of tires he will have screwed both me and my wife!

Btw, I spoke in the terms I did earlier because that is much how I felt and still do feel to a large degree.

And in my case, my Alzheimer's afflicted, fully dependent upon me grandpa actually did suffer greatly as a direct result of my wife's adultery with other men.

And after he suffered... He died in the midst of that suffering as well.

So for me it's not really hyperbole to see it as I expressed it earlier...

"I could not let another man screw my wife and not have some consequences"

why? what makes you think this way? have you considered changing your mind?

What consequences did your wife have?

I'm thinking something about revenge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die?

I think any BS dreams of revenge at some point - even if only for a fleeting moment. What that looks like (at least in their minds) varies, but it's there. So, I think all of us understand those feelings.

But, at the end of the day, I would be shocked if you didn't end up buying him a brand new set of tires, and probably some restitution for the time off work or rental cars or whatever he had to deal with. I don't think you'd get jail time (first offense, etc). How are you going to feel when you write that check? How are you going to heal yourself from THAT, on top of everything else?

Live well... that's the best revenge.

What consequences did your wife have?

We have been thru hell and back for the last 18 months. She FULLY understands that infidelity is a deal breaker for me if it EVER happens again. We have made amends.

and the legitimate head of that family?

Gawd, what century are you stuck in?

I'm thinking something about revenge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die?

For me revenge is wonderful. This man screwed my wife 20 years ago and he gets a little giggle when he thinks about it. Now, if you bring up my name, he thinks "oh shit". I needed that.

Gawd, what century are you stuck in?

I am in about 2000BC

I think it’s a very natural human response to want to level the playing field in a way. We’re hurt and wronged so much in acts of infidelity. I don’t think you should be judged for your actions, but I do hope that you get to a place within yourself where you no longer allow POSOM or your wayward to have your power. We are so disempowered in betrayal....we have to gain it back and give it to ourselves. Do these people ‘deserve’ our backlash? In my opinion, absolutely! But do we deserve to continuously feel disempowered in our obsession over making them suffer like we suffer? I don’t think so. And in all honesty, they’ll never feel what we feel, they have a different kind of misery they’re dealing to themselves...and I don’t envy that kind of misery! I’ll take being a betrayed spouse over a life of self loathing any day! I have been where you are. I know it feels good in the moment, and I also don’t regret what I did...to both my wayward and the AP, but I also had to find peace for myself to get passed this obsession with revenge, because it truly was hurting me too.

[This message edited by maise at 2:10 PM, February 9th (Saturday)]