SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

And we have a winner...

"There is a level of depravity you wouldn't understand."

Dude, if it didn't pain me so to read this, I think I'd actually be turned on. Be tempted to respond with "Oh, baby, please help me understand."

"Don't be nervous."

I literally just laughed out loud.

There's so much awfulness here, but oddly it's the tennis bracelet that sticks with me as the worst of the lot. The idea that his wife was disposable, but the jewelry he chose for her still had value and therefore belonged on the wrist of the OW.

[This message edited by BraveSirRobin at 11:08 PM, April 1st (Monday)]

Again, if it weren’t so sad I’d be rolling on the floor laughing!

I forgot a few gems:

1) “it was more convienent”, when asked initially why she screwed in our house.

2) “id already lost you”, why she crossed the line into affair land. Yet divorce wasn’t an option for her.

3) “it’s what he wanted and expected”, when questioned about unprotected sex.

We can’t make this stuff up!

We can’t make this stuff up!

Dude, this is now my favorite thread. I wait with baited breath. Dark humor at its best.

I had just caught her out with the guy, over the phone. I told her to come home immediately. 2 hours later she finally gets there, with her girlfriend who tried covering for her that morning in tow. I asked a bunch of questions point blank off the bat. I asked why she didn't mention to me once how unhappy she was, and why she would let it get so bad as to throw 12 years away. She says:

"You're hard to talk to!"

That's rich.

Ooh ooh, also, when asked on DDay "how long has *this* been going on, she said "just a week". 8 days later, her answer to that question was "it hasn't been *that long*". I can only imagine the answer if I'd have kept asking in 8 day increments...

"What, just a couple months"

"Not even that much of 2018"

"A little after I started working there"

"Ive been cheating the whole time, get a clue."

lol

Yeesh. This thread makes me glad I never bothered trying to pry an explanation out of my exWW.

" you're using the cheating against me"

AbandonedGuy:

"You're hard to talk to!"

You really need to work on this.

max2018:

"you're using the cheating against me"

You really need to work on this.

This was long time ago

I threw the trash out of my life and been happy with an angel

But its funny to remember this shit

Towards the end of our marriage, when asked if there was any continuing contact with AP: “she’s sent me some texts... nothing sexual... although I’d really like her to.”

Max...

Brother, sounds like you did it right. Some of us just haven't copped to our unhealthy need for more abuse.

[This message edited by NotTheManIwas at 12:33 PM, April 1st (Monday)]

--"You're sick; everyone else sees it. Please get help." -- I guess mow and his hateful sibling, perhaps, constitutes "everyone", as no one I asked after that point, including family and our MC, agreed with his statement.

--"You've never worked a real job in your life," coupled with his comments about not seeing that I contributed anything to our business to deserve my half ownership -- For about 13 years total, I ran the financial half of our company, doing everything from payroll to processing expenses to invoicing clients and collections to tax payments and returns, on top of homeschooling the kids and being in charge of all their activities, managing our personal finances in every way, keeping the household going by myself while he was traveling week in and week out for a couple of years with other travel at least monthly prior to that (with mow along for years) And, by the way, it was my money management that had set us up to be able to start this company in the first place, including being prepared for the first lean years of low to no income by having savings to use, if needed. Oh! and, prior, I also had worked fast food for a while and did babysitting all my teen years and had worked in the office at my college - a job I had sought out myself in order to keep my college loans down, and a few weeks at a clothing store before his choice to move meant I had to quit....

-- "You're psychotic." and "You're bipolar, MC says it's so." -- Nope, not psychotic, that was just said as I was seeing the truth about the A he was denying, so he was trying to convince me I was crazy for seeing reality; as to bipolar, he didn't count on me outright asking MC if MC had said that, and MC said he couldn't even recall discussing it with xwh, but absolutely stated he did NOT see that in me at all (xwh then said the MC was just saying what I wanted to hear.... yeah, right....)

-- To our oldest child, he "explained" the reason he didn't even ask if I had gotten safely off the road or what the problem was with the car, or if I got it fixed after it had broken down on me: "I'd gotten a AAA membership; she didn't see fit to renew it." -- Yeah, because that prevents him from treating me as though I am worth enough to ask about my safety.... (and he signed up for that without discussion AND it was over two years prior...)

-- "I was mad." -- That's it, nothing else; this was to "explain" why he had taken my name off the one business account to which I still had access (he'd already taken a large amount from this one and closed two others, putting the funds into an account I could not access) AND which he counted on me to use to pay bills, etc (even complained, later in the D, that I hadn't paid one which he had never turned in to me), WITHOUT telling me! I found out close to a week later, from the bank manager when I went in to handle something - imagine the embarrassment....(That manager even commented she could tell from my reaction he hadn't told me like he said he had back when he came in to take me off of it.) And, then, I had to argue with him to get him to put me back on it, though there were many checks out with my signature on them!! With no info on what I had done to cause his anger to be so bad as to do this, this was abusive, causing me to "watch my step" with him in order to avoid this anger again....

-- "All you want is the money" said to me after spending a year arguing over mow and his refusal to cut her loose, despite his denial of an A (it shouldn't have been hard, if there wasn't an A....). I had M'd him when he was just out of college, with his credit card limit of $500 maxed out and student loans to the hilt; we had yard-sale and hand-me-down furniture and one car to use for both of us, one we were paying his dad back for at $50/month, living in a one-bedroom apartment of all of 750sqft. He even had to take an advance on his time off work for us to have a honeymoon, which we spent exploring our new city as that was all we could afford! Meanwhile, when he said this, mow, I believe, was pressuring him to leave me for her right when our company had just had two of the best years we ever had, which he has likely not duplicated as of today, and mow had access to the company books.... But, somehow, I was "only after the money".... My retort to him was that the money was all that was left he hadn't yet fully removed from me and given to mow....

-- "I just want us all to get along." said as he refused to ask mow to leave the hospital room so I and our kids could visit with him without her, after she herself had steadfastly refused (after he had asked she be there the whole day while asking I stay home to wait until I was notified his procedure was done....and then I wasn't told but had to call and ask the hospital myself....only to find mow/xwh had even notified his hateful sibling that lived hours away, who would be there "soon" while we were having this discussion, while I had never been contacted, never even had my text responded to....) -- I think this was where I knew, absolutely, he had chosen her over me and our M was over, just not legally. I just found out they have been officially engaged for a few months and will likely M in a couple more.... so now I am fully replaced, with xwh; with the kids, the much more important thing, well, xwh is the one that is doing the losing, due to his own actions.... (For the record, the two still deny the A....)

-- but the absolute worst he ever said? That he loved me and only me and wanted us to work, over and over again....all while he was secretly plotting with mow to leave me for her, with that including how to get me "out of the picture", whether by having me committed or jailed (which they actively tried to do - and she was successful in doing to her now xh), so she could basically become me, even with my kids and FOO.... Didn't work out that way for them, thankfully, but this lie is probably the one that will haunt me forever - the idea someone who supposedly loved me so much all those years and was still saying as much could be so diabolical as to be doing that behind my back.... It causes me to shudder sometimes.

Wiserallthetime

Ok that's FUCK UP

WSs are trash

Hopefully you take him to the cleaners

Some of my other favorites:

"I talked about you most of the time" uh, thanks?

"I felt guilty about you so I couldn't even get it up." Oh, yes. I feel honored you drove 100 miles away to meet up with a

nasty woman you met on Tinder who was 20 years older than us but couldn't complete the deed because of me. That's what we all dream of as little girls.

"I just wasn't feeling it for you at the time" this was a few years into our relationship when I was 4 months pregnant.

max - mow was also supposedly my bff for over ten years prior to this, so it's also a double betrayal.... and my kids have to be somewhat feeling as though their dad left their mom for their mom's sister....it's sick.... Oh, and xwh and mow's xh had been bff's too - well, as close to that as xwh's likely personality disorder allowed, that is.... so it's all kinds of messed up....

Mow was overly upset with me for suspecting the A and for protesting the two of them having asked a hotel for connecting rooms (which was denied it was for the two of them when the two were confronted, but they were the only two staying there that night as the third had gone to travel home before the hotel rooms were reserved...) as well as that the two had been planning to meet to go to a tanning bed place together - all while she was "done with" her now xh and had been to a D lawyer already....(and I now believe, admittedly without proof, xwh went to that with her, makng it a consult for both of them on how a D would go with each of their spouses).

During the argument with her over these things, likely in an attempt to distract from these issues, she had made an accusation against me that I had lied to her on something unrelated; I gave her proof I had not. Her response was to then say "well, I felt like you had lied to me...." with it implied that she was then going to continue to believe it was so, and likely spread the word the same as she was/is a "talker".... A or no, I was done with her then. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, depending on how you look at it), xwh was not "done with" her, and still isn't - to the detriment of, at least, our kids....

Oh, yeah, and mow told me I was the bully.....just because I said I was done with the "friendship" because of her behaviors....her bullying behaviors as she repeatedly tried to defend the tanning bed thing, instead of accepting my boundaries, as she accused me of lying to her and wouldn't accept that proof discredited that idea, as she threatened to go to my church leadership with lies about me, in an attempt to discredit me there and cause me to lose my volunteer position, and so much more...... sigh... She showed her true colors then, and it was more due to that than the A suspicions that I went as NC as I could, given xwh wouldn't fire her from the company.

ETA: I actually lost out on a lot of assets/money in the settlement and have had to count it as "what I paid to get away from xwh"....and it is worth every penny to be free, but would be worth it more if I could be completely free, with no ties, even through kids anymore....especially as he has chosen to keep mow around. That said, I did get a good bit out of it and, with frugal living as I do, will be able to make it last; xwh, on the other hand, even as he makes a ton through what used to be our company, is still spending/giving away money like it grows on trees, while his health goes downhill rather steadily and quickly due to his other life choices, and his spending/giving money away puts him in a situation where he can't afford to stop working for his health's sake.... I'm like 95% certain that if the money is gone, so will be mow - after finding her new sugar daddy, that is....

[This message edited by Wiserallthetime at 2:31 PM, April 1st (Monday)]

"The Buddists understand that our need to control what happens in our lives is the source of pain."

and

"Relax, everything is out of control."

Ummm, no, just you.

My faves after WH's LOOOONNGG Term Affair:

"I cheated because you rearrange the furniture too much and you don't ask me first".

"My job is so stressful, I felt like I deserved to have a little fun".

"Well you should feel better, YOU won".

"One thing I really liked about her was that she went to church".

"I didn't think you loved me and I thought you'd just be mad and then get over it".

"I was mad at you because you didn't like the fact that my mother stole money from us".

"I thought you deserved it".

The last one crushed me. I'll never get over it.