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Nah Rocket,

She ain't never coming back.

I know yall are worried about me breaking down in a moment of weakness but I'm telling you EVEN IF I WANTED TOO... I'll never be given that chance because..

Shes NEVER COMING BACK.

If there was even a .00001% chance of that happening I probably wouldnt have turned the phone over.

But I did... because our relationship is dead. It's done. Over. Kaput. Finished. For good. Period.

Its soooooo done and over that I'm actually drunk right now and havnt reached out to her.

That should tell you how dead it is.

***edited for unnecessary obscenities***

[This message edited by LateNght at 11:28 PM, June 10th (Monday)]

Acceptance. It’s a hard thing. But necessary in your healing.

Glad you are seeing reality. First giant leap towards your recovery.

Bravo! But sorry it had to come to this.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 1:57 AM, June 11th (Tuesday)]

Hey LN

I spotted a laugh emoji in there somewhere

You are going through the next stage now, which is great as you are dealing with and processing this shit show slowly but surely.

I think it is Booyah who advised you to never say never and be like a good boy scout, 'always prepared' If you look at my early posts when I fist joined SI, I too was firmly convinced that my ex was never coming back too. I could not for one moment have envisaged a time where he might want to and that helped me to move forward and stay NC.

I was right about him never coming back, but now I suspect that may be my choice.

The reason I mention this, is that I agree with Booyah and others who have suggested that she will at some point try to return, at that point you need to stay strong. People here will help you as they have me, through each step of the way. Her actions have identified her as a selfish person, who likes to have her own way and on her own terms. She has a large ego and will not take kindly to you calling the shots and removing her options.

You won't thank me for saying this right now, but long term she has done you a huge favour. I think had you stayed together, she would have made your life miserable, filled with pain, cheating and suspicion. I am confident that you will go on to meet someone who loves you whole heartedly, who respects you, values you and to whom you are her world.

You are getting through each day and as I said earlier, already showing positive signs that you are experiencing the stages of grief. Remember, every day is one step closer to the hurt healing and a happier future. Just keep doing anything you can to make it through the day, it will become ever so slightly easier as those days tick by. Be prepared for the bad days to hit usually when you start to feel better, tell yourself it is normal and that tomorrow will be better. I could go a few days feeling a little stronger and then wham! something would trigger real bad day and the tears would flow, but I learned to recognise these days and to just make it through them, knowing they would pass.

Please forget the OBS and phone shit, none of it is helping you, you need to prioritise and focus. OBS is not your problem, nor is OM and right now, SO certainly isn't.

Thanks for answering my questions lol, though a little more detail would have been helpful So here are 5 more, think about the answers, they are to help you to see more clearly.

1) What is so special about her that you think you would not find in someone else?

2) If you were older and had a son your age, would you be happy with her as his partner? if yes or no, why?

3) What is it you love about her?

4) What do you dislike about her?

5) Have you ever cheated on her, or considered it, whether EA or PA? If yes why, if No why?

You are correct, she is not coming back right now, neither myself or anyone else is going to tell you any different. As for whether she does in the future, only time can tell, but more importantly you may not want her back by then.

Keep talking and posting, you're doing well and I am delighted to hear that you have not contacted her, maybe that is why you are venturing towards the next stage, acceptance.

BD

I feel that I need to share this in the interest of all members. I sent a PM to LN offering help if he needed. What I got back was 'Lol yeah cheers I am doing good, but thanks' and a laughing emote, I found that strange since he had posted about how sad he was.

Based on that I am leaving this thread, something is not sitting right with me. I tried to help as we all have. I have given him all I can, but I think we are all wasting our time. He obviously finds it funny and I am starting to think that his tales of orgies and graphic BDSM encounters are not sincere.

We have all offered him a wealth of advice yet he takes no notice. That was not my concern, it was the PM I sent and the laughing emoji I got saying 'I am doing good thanks' Not the actions of someone devastated.

That combined with the in depth details of his overly graphic account of his S&M session, ball gags and all, tell me that we are having the piss taken out of us!

I could be wrong, but I sure don't think so.

Be cautious when replying

BD x

Default Posted: 5:32 PM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2019 View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel that I need to share this in the interest of all members. I sent a PM to LN offering help if he needed. What I got back was 'Lol yeah cheers I am doing good, but thanks' and a laughing emote, I found that strange since he had posted about how sad he was.

Based on that I am leaving this thread, something is not sitting right with me. I tried to help as we all have. I have given him all I can, but I think we are all wasting our time. He obviously finds it funny and I am starting to think that his tales of orgies and graphic BDSM encounters are not sincere.

We have all offered him a wealth of advice yet he takes no notice. That was not my concern, it was the PM I sent and the laughing emoji I got saying 'I am doing good thanks' Not the actions of someone devastated.

That combined with the in depth details of his overly graphic account of his S&M session, ball gags and all, tell me that we are having the piss taken out of us!

I could be wrong, but I sure don't think so.

Be cautious when replying

BD x

Umm excuse me but that is not the response you got nor was there a laughing emoji.

How do I post pictures?

What is your problem BD....

You go back and forth almost as much as my XWGF.

First your giving advice, then your bowing out bc I shared my embarrassing story that honestly I'm trying to forget about but XWGF obviously fucked with my head but I even went back to that post and deleted the story because I was told it could trigger some members and I'm not here to disrespect or trigger anyone. In fact I didnt even bring up anything else that had to do with that story or the aftermath or my feelings on it since there is a shit ton more that could have been said about it but I honestly didnt feel safe getting it off my chest so we moved on from that bit. But then you come back into the thread giving more advice and asking questions, which I responded too.

Then I'm over here listening to everyone's advice and trying to get on with my life and you come back in here saying I'm a sham bc I said I was doing good and thanks for asking? I'm TRYING TO DO GOOD! IS THAT NOT THE WHOLE POINT? is that not what everyone's said I need to try to do.

For the record anyone that wants to think I didnt actually live this and am going thru it then fine. So fucking be it. I dont really give a fuck. I know what's real.

And for the people that have offered me advice and kind words, thank you. I wouldnt be feeling as strong as I do right now without them I'm sure.

[This message edited by LateNght at 7:18 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)]

pm for you brokendreamer.

I believe him. I've read a lot worse on here.

I dont know if there was a laughing emoji, or not. But, I do know when I respond using my phone,sometimes I accidentally post an emoji without realizing it. A few months ago, I posted a laughing emoji on a response in JFO. I didnt realize it until a few days later. I apologized, and edited, and thankfully the OP understood.

Maybe the reason he said he was good was because he simply didnt want to talk to you at the moment. Assuming that means he's a liar is a huge leap. Have you never told someone you were fine,when you were dying inside??

LN, you are going to be ok. You are a really good man. Some day you will find a really good woman. Your ex,frankly,is trash.

LN, I believe you.

I think BD is mixing 2 separate responses...

The response in THIS THREAD to her questions. I believe I answered one of them about wishes and a billion dollars or something like that and put a laugh emoji.

BD feel free to post a pic of my response.

Frankly it's easier for me to post openly in this thread to lots of strangers than 1 on 1 with someone.

I dont know why.

Hell I signed up for online IC and havnt even used it yet, and I think the reason why is exactly that, bc its 1 on 1.

I'm not saying I dont need 1 on 1.

But clearly I'm avoiding 1 on 1 for whatever reason.

Maybe its the fact that bc I'm doing fine right now and I've been NC for 2 days now, deep down, or subconsciously, I know if I get into a deep or thoughtful conversation about XWGF I'll lose the momentum and want to reach out to her.

I totally get your feelings about 1 on 1 communication. Depending on whatever day it is, my social anxiety can kick into high gear. On those days the anxiety I get from communicating personally as opposed to openly make it very difficult to communicate 1 on 1. Your reasons, feelings or issues may not be the same as mine, but it doesn't matter. I get it.

Going numb is pretty normal. Its your brains way of protecting your body and heart. Take this time to an your escape from this relationship. if that's blocking her then do it. If it's involved enough that it requires financial splits you may want to take the time to talk to an attorney.

I do think being done is smart. You know your WS better than the rest of us but be prepared for what you will say and do should she suddenly awaken and decide to get her shot right.

Plan for the worst hope for the best.

Understand that it's normal to doubt your choices. But know it's ok to have doubts but to stand up for yourself.

[This message edited by tushnurse at 9:01 PM, June 11th (Tuesday)]

She ain't never coming back.

Shes NEVER COMING BACK.

because our relationship is dead. It's done. Over. Kaput. Finished. For good. Period.

Good. Now remember those words and stick to them!

All the best, LN! You will have an awesome one without the WGF.

.... and am glad that you are doing good. No need to make excuses for that.

PRIVATE MESSAGE FEATURE: Please do not publicly post Private Messages that you've received. Also, do not share your Private Messages with other members unless you've received permission from the original sender. Public PM requests/announcements are not permitted on the forums.

I apologise for sharing the PM response. I was wrong to do so, I think I was just frustrated at the time and reached out based on concern for LN's wellbeing.

The response I received was completely contradictory in my opinion to the devastation he has posted here.

I am sending the PM's to admin so that they may form their own opinion.

To those few who have replied saying'I believe you LN' that is your perogative. I am not permitted to share the PM's, so my hands are tied.

I am backing out of this thread and will say no more. I just wanted to apologise for breaking the rules re PM sharing, I had no idea I was contravening, but I do now.

BD

Mods BD has permission to share my response with the forum I dont care it was polite and cordial.

The OBS reached out to me today to say she received an email from someone berating her for being the cause of OM pain and pushing OM into my XWGF arms. It included things that supposedly only OM could have known so it's either him pretending to be someone else or it serves as proof that him and XWGF are still involved.

ObS also went on to mention possible pregnancy.

So that's great. I might be having a kid in all this mess.

Or she might be having OM's baby.

The OBS reached out to me today to say she received an email from someone berating her for being the cause of OM pain and pushing OM into my XWGF arms.

LN, your story has so many strange elements. Who was this person who wrote her? A supposed stranger? No stranger would say those things to her or care! Was OBS suspicious? Geeze, why are there so many odd, manipulative, hidden, secretive elements to this story? Next thing you know, we'll find out your ex has a secret evil twin. It's like a daytime soap opera.

LN, your story has so many strange elements. Who was this person who wrote her? A supposed stranger? No stranger would say those things to her or care! Was OBS suspicious? Geeze, why are there so many odd, manipulative, hidden, secretive elements to this story? Next thing you know, we'll find out your ex has a secret evil twin. It's like a daytime soap opera.

I dont know why it does. It's why I felt like I was crazy in the beginning. I dont feel crazy now I just realized that my XWGf and the OM are extremely manipulative and have probably even planned the getting caught part. Like they've thought this whole thing thru. My X clearly wanted OM. And that's why a few days ago I said she would probably get him.

When I met with OBS in person 3 days ago she told me about OM's need to control and think 10 steps ahead and plan things out.

Appearently before OM married OBS he did the same thing with his 1st wife.

Yeh that's a red flag from hell but I didnt ask a grieving OBS why the hell she married him or if she even knew all about that side of him before she married him. I was there for support not to question her motives in her marriage.

Theres alot more I dont have time to post up right this second but I will later on tonight

It was either OM,or your ex,who messaged that to the OBS.

These people are twisting themselves all around doing all manner of things, saying all manner of things. They are out of control and flailing around. Use caution.