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Husband been gifted a house, where do I stand?

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 Flash (original poster new member #69284) posted at 10:36 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

Recently FIL has bought us a house and put my husbands name on the deeds. We haven’t moved in yet and the sale should complete in two weeks. (I’m in UK if this helps)

FIL has some flimsy explanation as to why they didn’t put my name on the deeds but I just nodded and agreed. Who am I to question this opportunity. FIL intends for this to be our family home and of course leave it to our kids in future.

Obviously it’s a difficult position because it’s a gift and my god, I am so grateful. I have had an awful upbringing. This is beyond my wildest dreams to be honest. I am still in shock.

However we’ve lived in a flat owned by FIL for over the last decade and I have had zero protection, we didn’t pay rent which was such a blessing for us when we started our family, but it hasn’t kept me safe when it came to my husbands affairs 3 years ago. I could have been asked to leave at a drop of a hat. I have been very vulnerable (perhaps stupid) regardless of the fact we have been married 9 years.

However where do I stand if god forbid my husband was to fuck up again? Would I have any claim on the house? Does it matter that my name isn’t on the deeds as we are married?

Or is FIL doing something here to push me out? I am not clued up in property or legal.

I feel a bit worried, naturally I will forever be on edge, I won’t fully trust anyone again.

posts: 14   ·   registered: Dec. 31st, 2018
id 8468392
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Buzzy ( member #72001) posted at 10:56 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

Hi,I also live in the UK, my wife and I live in a house owned by my parents, as an only child I will one day inherit this and my parents house, as I understand it my W cannot have a claim on either nor a substantial sum of money left to me by my late Uncle.

If you are concerned then take legal advice.

Also known as Discord, a dramatic troll.

posts: 212   ·   registered: Nov. 4th, 2019   ·   location: London
id 8468393
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 11:07 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

Talk to a lawyer.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6900   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8468394
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wifehad5 ( Administrator #15162) posted at 11:22 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

What does your husband have to say about all of this? It seems that after your husband's name is on the deed, he can then go through the process to have you added. You could also start to pay yourself a "mortgage" out of the money you're not paying for the house each month so that you'd at least have a nest egg if something happened.

My overall point is, your WH should be willing to do something to help you feel safe. If he refuses or dismisses your fears, you have a bigger problem.

FBH - 52 FWW - 53 (BrokenRoad)2 kids 17 & 22The people you do your life with shape the life you live

posts: 55952   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2007   ·   location: Michigan
id 8468398
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Buzzy ( member #72001) posted at 11:41 AM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

If he adds his Wife he will be going against his Fathers wishes after his amazing generosity. This is a tough one, when i discovered my Ww A the first thought was to ask her to leave.

I dont know if your FIL knows about the affair but if he does maybe he thinks you will ditch your WH and walk off with half of the value of the house.

Also known as Discord, a dramatic troll.

posts: 212   ·   registered: Nov. 4th, 2019   ·   location: London
id 8468402
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cannotforgive ( member #43367) posted at 12:01 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

You really need to speak to a solicitor about this.

As a parent who one day will leave a house/s to our children, I would also put just the their names on the deeds.

However, you need to feel safe, especially after he was cheating in the past.

A solicitor will advise you what to do.

BS

posts: 858   ·   registered: May. 8th, 2014   ·   location: Europe
id 8468404
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Rideitout ( member #58849) posted at 12:46 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

I can't answer the question, I'm in the US and our laws are different. But, if anyone is curious, inheritance isn't commingled into marital assets unless YOU commingle it. So, if your FIL were to keep the house, let you live in it while he's alive, and then dies, leaving it only to your H, so long as he doesn't put it into your marital assets, it's his. That's the easiest way to get "outside of the marriage" assets in the US, but most people commingle, so it becomes a marital asset. If you inherit 100K, put it in a seperate account (with only your name on it), that's really all you have to do to keep them those assets from becoming fair game in a D.

posts: 3289   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2017
id 8468417
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MamaDragon ( member #63791) posted at 1:39 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

From what I understand, if your FWH is on the deed alone, he can change the deed to include you after the fact...but that doesn't mean he will.

Talk to a lawyer first and before you do anything further.

BS - 40 something at A time, over 50 now
WS - him, younger than me
Reconciled

posts: 1226   ·   registered: May. 16th, 2018   ·   location: Georgia
id 8468440
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deephurt ( member #48243) posted at 3:50 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

Here in Canada if the property is in your husbands name only and has been used as the marital home then you would be entitled to half of it regardless. Any money inherited or gifted and used for anything marital is considered joint and subject to 50/50 split. However, I don’t know what the rules are in UK so I agree see a lawyer or talk to an accountant as they probably know also.

me-BW
him-WH


so far successfully in R

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StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 4:41 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

Speak to an attorney, but also start putting the money you're saving from not paying rent into a savings account. Ask the attorney how the money can also be invested to secure your future. In the States, if the house is used as marital property, you'd normally be protected, but you're not.

"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014

posts: 6243   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2013   ·   location: AZ
id 8468541
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KingRat ( member #60678) posted at 4:53 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2019

Yes, talk to an attorney or solicitor (is that what they are referred to in the UK?). As far as the general rule in the US, RIO is correct. Inheritance is generally separate property until it is commingled. At that point, it becomes a marital asset.

In the States, the best way to avoid commingling inheritance would be to create a trust and deed the property into the trust.

[This message edited by KingRat at 11:02 AM, November 15th (Friday)]

posts: 674   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2017
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Carissima ( member #66330) posted at 7:45 AM on Saturday, November 16th, 2019

It really depends where in the UK you live as the laws are different.

In Scotland you would be entitled to remain in the matrimonial home until the divorce was final. You cannot be forced out although I imagine many people have faced extremely unpleasant living conditions in this situation.

It means the house cannot be sold out from under you without your knowledge and give you time to get your ducks in a row.

I know this because a friend was recently in this position (albeit as the homeowner). I'm sorry, I know it's different in the rest of the UK but I don't know specifics.

posts: 963   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2018
id 8468809
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Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 8:28 AM on Saturday, November 16th, 2019

I'm in the US and our laws are different. But, if anyone is curious, inheritance isn't commingled into marital assets unless YOU commingle it... so long as he doesn't put it into your marital assets, it's his.

Just to clarify, it depends on your state. In my state, if an inheritance benefits the marriage in any way, it is considered a marital asset subject to division. Both spouses living in the home (even if deeded in only one spouse's name) constitutes benefiting the marriage. I went through this very issue.

Please talk to a solicitor to see what your jurisdiction's laws are.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 12:44 PM, November 16th (Saturday)]

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 9059   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
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Pizzatheaction ( member #71506) posted at 9:10 AM on Saturday, November 16th, 2019

Regardless of whose name is on the deeds, this is a marital asset and should you divorce, would be classed as a joint asset. Division of assets is different in any divorce, not necessarily 50/50, but a usually free half hour chat with a solicitor may be useful.

Regardless of it being a gift, I don't see why you couldn't be simply added to the deeds. From an inheritance stance, this makes sense, you may want to both consider up to date will too. Is FIL on the deeds, or just husband, by the way?

Citizens Advice has a great searchable website, good section on divorce.

posts: 82   ·   registered: Sep. 7th, 2019   ·   location: United Kingdom
id 8468820
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Carissima ( member #66330) posted at 9:18 AM on Saturday, November 16th, 2019

Regardless of whose name is on the deeds, this is a marital asset and should you divorce, would be classed as a joint asse

This isn't the case at all. It isn't a house bought with joint funds but with only one partners name on the deeds. It's an outright gift to one partner and will not become marital property unless the OP's husband chooses to add her to the deed.

posts: 963   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2018
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 4:43 PM on Saturday, November 16th, 2019

In the UK the laws may differ than the US. So seeing an attorney or solicitor is your best bet in getting the advice most applicable to your situation.

In the US the laws vary depending if you live in a community property state and how the asset was used.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

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Justgetitoverwith ( member #70459) posted at 3:57 AM on Sunday, November 17th, 2019

Just got to say, your FIL is an arse, though! Pretty sure that's how my IL would behave, given the chance, based on their behaviour and attitude so far. Best bet is to get your name on the deeds. Is your husband happy to do that?

posts: 758   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2016
id 8469054
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