SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

What's the motivation and story behind many of our user names here?

I have a usual username that I use almost everywhere, but I chose a a different name to remain a bit anonymous and be specific to this site. While many of our names have obviously been influenced by our infidelity experiences, some have interesting stories and a lot of meaning behind them. SadMom29182 maybe not, but it might be fun to know a bit on why we chose the names we wanted to represent ourselves with.

For me, the "shattered" part is obviously how I felt, and still feel. My life broke into a million little pieces and I'm still picking them up and trying to piece them together to feel whole again.

The "sakura" part has meaning related to my WW. I'm not Japanese, or an anime buff, but one of our major outings early on was to go to a botanical garden where a Japanese festival was held - timed around the blooming of the garden's cherry blossom trees during the spring. As you may know, Sakura is the Japanese word for that type of tree.

Most likely our next major vacation if it wasn't for the affair was to go to Japan. WW was bit of a Japan-phile. It would have been a fun trip.

Also, the neighborhood we ended up living in is dotted with cherry blossom trees. The area looks absolutely beautiful in spring! By luck we saw the area at the right time while house searching...it may have played a factor in choosing this place. I have many, many beautiful photos of her by the cherry blossom just feet away from the front door.

So that's the meaning behind my username, the world that I loved and it's destruction due to the ugliness of infidelity. What's yours?

I've wondered that too sometimes, SS.

My original one was EllieKH - the 'KH' part being my maiden initial and married initial. I upgraded to be able to get rid of that fucking H as soon as I knew D was happening. So the KMAS is now both my maiden initial and 'Kiss My Ass Sideways', which fits me on here (as I think most would attest) and more than fits me IRL too (as I know everyone would attest)

When I very first joined, I actually spent about an hour coming up with my username. I purposely wanted something that had meaning for me, but wasn't sad. Was my closet optimist shining through I suppose

I have often wondered what the KMAS was all about! It fits, lol.

He thought he was going to replace me with a younger version.

He never thought I would kick HIM to the curb. Lol

I chose my name b/c I was/am his first wife but had we D and remarried or been with the OW I would have him poor and tied up with kids each weekend. And she was not welcome near my kids.

Between alimony, two homes and child support there wound not have been much left over for anything else.

He had no idea who he was facing. I’m not stupid and rolling over any time soon.

Ellie - I love it.

For me, I chose "emergent" because: (a) it was non-identifiable (I was so afraid that OW or OBS would 'recognize' me when I first started posting) (b) it denoted the crisis and the urgency of the situation I found myself in (ie. emergent care) (c) I envisioned emergent trees (ie. the tallest ones in the forest), the ones that grow faster and have access to the most sunlight (this was a bit of a 'bigger person' or 'fake it 'til I make it' attitude that I had at the time) and (d) it denoted a new start - my 'coming into being'. Like something I might grow and learn from.

My middle name is Anne and in college I always used Annie as my "going out name." I wanted to be anonymous here. Mae is just a nickname I have so it worked.

So the KMAS is now both my maiden initial and 'Kiss My Ass Sideways'

Heh. Sounds like Bender from Futurama.

Just an hour? I don't remember, but I may have spent more. Originally my idea was "SadCherryBlossom" but it sounded a little too feminine for my tastes. ShatteredSakura is far more elegant. Although the only negative has been when people use "SS" to refer to me . My mind instantly goes to the Schutzstaffel. You know...Nazis.

[This message edited by ShatteredSakura at 12:41 PM, February 11th (Tuesday)]

I love outdoors, and I am an avid hiker. When I got here, I was destroyed. I didn't know where I was going I just knew I was hiking out of it - climbing for higher ground.

the only negative has been when people use "SS" to refer to me . My mind instantly goes to the Schutzstaffel. You know...Nazis

Well dammit Shattered. I am a history buff and honestly never made that jump. So now I just gott type it all out. Jeeeeeze, so high maintenance

I joined another site in pain, and I wanted the pain to end ASAP. 'Soon' was available as an ID, and I took it. The site was not very useful, except that they dissed SI for treating WSes as human beings.

Since I wanted R and could R only with a fellow human being, I checked SI out. I decided to join, and I became SI's soon - sisoon. I didn't think to capitalize the first letter.

ShatteredSakura, I can't help hearing the cherry blossom song when I see your name.

I strongly recommend visiting Japan. We did it - holy shit! - 50 years ago, using Japan on $5 a Day as our guide. A buck bought 360 yen. I took a lot of photos, but many of the sights are happily fixed in my mind's eye. We spent 5 days in Tokyo, 7 in Kyoto, with daytrips to Nara and Nikko.

I threw out Japan on $5 a Day after d-day. During R, my W was so sad about losing it that we bought the next version, Japan on $5 to $10 a Day, which turned out to be almost exactly what I remembered from the earlier version. I think simlar travel now is upwards of $100/day/person.

It's a wonderful place to visit. Memories of our Japan trip kept popping up in my post-d-day, pre-decision days. Years later, I found out that Gottman observed that positive memories were associated with couples staying together, but I sure hated them when I was in so much pain.

If you go, I recommend adding Taiwan to your trip to visit the National Palace Museum for a few days. Lots of great museums in Japan, but the Palace Museum is special.

IOW, your mention of traveling to Japan flooded me with pleasant memories ....

*****

Yup - I couldn't use 'SS' for that very reason, as much as I like to save keystrokes.

I can't abbreviate 'hikingout,' either.

[This message edited by sisoon at 12:56 PM, February 11th (Tuesday)]

I hate winter but love gardens, it was a very sad time of year to be dealing with my world falling apart and no sunshine or blossom on the horizon. Thankfully seasons change in this country.

Good topic,

Mine is the second to last text my exe sent me before she left.

"For what it's worth, I am sorry for everything."

Well the first bit is my name...and I stole the overall play on words from a Deborah Harry album title.

Easy to figure mine out...maybe I should add 25 to the front to be more specific...

What I am finding really interesting about this topic is how I have interpreted some of these that is different than what they mean.

Wintergarden - I always thought of yours as a garden during the winter - not dead, but filled with things waiting to bloom in the springtime once the earth shifted and the light improved. So I always liked yours because even though on the surface it looked sad, underneath it wasn't.

sisoon, always wondered about yours too.

And 1stwife, I always kinda saw yours as a badass proclamation kind of name. Like it should be more THE.1st.Wife

Such a cool topic....

I'm a fan of the wizard of oz.

I chose Embrace The Change because I'm a mega optimist person (amongst many things) and knew things had to change. 1.5 years of daily lies and being taken for a mug and a doormat makes you think that, lol.

Surprise suprise, they did. I divorced him and I am pretty happy about it.

Had I had chicken on dday, my username would have been definitely been chicken related.

# I love my Ladies or # Who pooped on the patio

Unfortunately a raccoon ate my ladies, so now I only have a water racer snail with my goldfishes for entertainment.

So today it would be #where is Gary.

EllieKMAS

Wintergarden - I always thought of yours as a garden during the winter - not dead, but filled with things waiting to bloom in the springtime once the earth shifted and the light improved. So I always liked yours because even though on the surface it looked sad, underneath it wasn't.

You have brought tears to my eyes.

That's so true but I didn't know it at the time!!

Lala has been my nickname forever; I added "girl" because there were other Lalas on SI when I joined.

I love reading these stories.

I've always been a bit, eh, less than precise when it comes to remembering school timings for my kids (long story short, I'm usually late to picking them up :P) and the one time I was perfectly on time to pick up my son he was so shocked. I asked him why he was surprised and he said (and this is a quote):

"because you're always so forgettable dad!".

So I kinda stuck with it for here..

And the capitalization style is because I'm a programmer :P

[This message edited by forgettableDad at 1:53 PM, February 11th (Tuesday)]