SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Please be gentle with me, as I’m genuinely curious if there are any BS who regret choosing to divorce their WS? I have seen it over and over where the betrayed regrets not divorcing, or not doing it sooner, but wanted to see the other side of the coin if you will.

Gently, No.

It can be hard. But no, not for one second.

Frankly, some people don't want to say it out loud, but except for child rearing things, it gets the person that caused you pain, humiliation, and every other emotion out of your life for the most part.

After the kids are gone, they are pretty much gone from your life, and to me that is a good thing.

Others may feel differently.

I don't regret it thus far. I think I got out easy, as we didn't have any kids.

My WW still doesn't seem like she regrets her decision, so it's clear I made the correct one with the D.

The thing I do regret is not doing it sooner. Maybe then I could have been happier sooner, or things may have turned around. But I'm not trying to play that game.

I think I may have regretted not attempting to R, but my XWW was never really interested in R, so it was false. Once I realized that, any hesitation I had was gone.

So to answer your question, no, I have no regrets in divorcing a lying cheater who had at 5 AP's and probably more over several years. I have been much happier by myself. It has been tough at times financially, but mentally, it has been a huge improvement.

Addition by subtraction for me.

No. I won't lie, it was hard. But as I'm coming up soon on 1 year divorced, no regrets. Of course I had an unremorsful/unrepentant cheater. That made it a little easier I think.

Nope, never.

No regrets at all except I wish I had done it sooner. The further I get away from the marriage, the more clearly I can see how terribly my husband behaved.

I'll be interested to see if anyone replies with a yes here.

Underserving, I was head-over-heels in love with my best friend. Still, my divorce was the best thing I've ever done. No regrets. At all. Life is better than I could have ever possibly imagined, and I've come to see that my married life was not as "awesome" as I thought.

And certainly no dig to reconcilers (I wanted that more than anything in the world at the time and truly do believe it's possible in the right circumstances), but I think I'd be in an awful place today had my WS somehow ditched her AP and tried at all. I'd be around the 3.5-year mark today, and I think life would be hell.

I remember when divorce was inconceivable. I see it totally differently now.

It was very painful but I never doubted or regretted my decision. XH has gone on to remarry and cheat on his second wife, further reinforcing my decision. Changing who they are with does not change who they are. I’ve been in the NB forum for going on seven years, and although I’ve seen many posters in great pain as they figure out their new normal, I can’t remember a single time someone voiced regretting their divorce.

and I've come to see that my married life was not as "awesome" as I thought.

Ain't that the truth!!

I wasn't married to my XWBF but I guess I could say cutting him out of my life entirely is the closest experience I've had and I don't regret it one bit. I saw X from afar a couple years ago with what I assume was his new GF or potential GF. He was treating her exactly how he treated me. He had not changed one bit.

It's a myth that once we leave the cheaters, they become the person we wanted to be with and we regret it. Never personally seen it happen.

Well, I've only been divorced for two months so what do I know?

I know I still love him, I still miss him, life seems to pretty much suck right now.

But, I don't regret the decision to divorce him. I know it was something I had to do because I lost all trust and respect for my XWH. And what kind of marriage would that be?

Shitty.....

This is hard for me. I am in the process and I do find myself regretting some things. I find myself regretting not trying harder or giving him another chance. I really start to feel guilty on behalf of my kids. This is all very emotional. We did so many things to save the M.

Then I realize I am thinking of a pretty unrealistic picture. The reason I am on this course is because of what he was really like. The things he did and ways he treated me. How hard I did try only for it to fail.

It is really hard when your mind starts to create and miss a life you really did not have. I miss the H I wanted him to be and the life I thought we had. I regret losing something I did not even have some days. It is not the way life would really be with him if we were still together. It is really easy for me to slip into this and then I have to remind myself of what it would really be like and the reasons I am on this path.

I have never once regretted getting divorced. It was the best possible decision I could have made for me and my son.

No, I have no regrets about divorcing my cheater. I regret that he destroyed our marriage. I regret that he was not willing to do any work to make R possible for us after I found out about his LTA. But, obviously, I can't control anything he does, so I have to focus on myself and take responsibility for my own happiness (or lack thereof). When I look at it through that lens, I have to admit that, of all my actions, the one thing I regret most is marrying him. I should've done a better job of choosing a mate. I plan to be more careful next time.

I regret that my marriage wasn't what I thought it was, but there's nothing I could do about that. I guess that's not so much a regret as something I had to grieve. I don't regret ending the marriage AT ALL. I'm quite happy making my own life happen.

I regret that my marriage ended in divorce but I don't regret getting divorced if you can follow that. I regret how much time it took to get D after the 1st DDay. I regret years lost out of my life. I do not regret getting divorced.

NO regrets at all . It has been over 35 years since my D from my 1st H and time has shown that I made the right decision.

I also have NO regrets for giving my 2nd H the gift of R . In order for true R to happen...BOTH spouses have to be ALL IN. My 1st H was not...my 2nd H IS .

I do regret D my angelic WW.......nah, had you guys going....I just wanted to the one fly in the ointment. I am in the process of D and don't regret it for a New York minute. There is this one part in the NT that Paul refers to a form of execution reserved for the highest enemies of Rome. They would strap a corpse to the condemned toe to toe, palm to palm, eye to eye, in order to watch him slowly die with a rotting corpse shackled to him. Yup, super not regretting getting rid of my dead weight...

After reading more responses I do have to agree that I very much regret what my H did that destroyed our M. I regret that I took so long to D. Both of these are true for me and I do grieve it.