SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

On DDay, when I asked WH if it was a PA, he said "the answer is no, but I have to say yes." I still can't figure out what that means.

At times I refer to OW by some unflattering names. WH says that makes me a low life. But having sex with someone else's wife - having sex with someone other than your own wife - is not being a low life?

I also heard from WH how MOW is a better woman than I will ever be. He doesn't seem to understand that she is a lying, selfish cheater who is not faithful to her own husband. Yet he actually believes it. But sometimes says he didn't really know her well so he's not sure if she's better than me.

I forgot about this one... Exdouche didn't want to send a no-contact letter to her because he "loved her too much to cause her that amount of pain". My pain apparently didn't matter to him a bit.

BTA - kinda smh laughing - Schroedinger's affair?

ETA: Fray - he got all huffy with me a couple times cus I called her a name. I told him he should be happy I stopped at name calling and not beating the snot outta her skank ass.

[This message edited by EllieKMAS at 5:01 PM, September 21st (Monday)]

Think I posted this in another wayward thread along the same lines.

My WW actually stated after I caught her in the A "that you would really like him". I was like WTF!! Looking at him now, she really traded down and after I kicked her out she now has to make it work with this POS....baggage and all !!!!!

I get to have the last laugh !!

So the use of foul language is forbidden when talking to the person screwing you spouse without you consent, noted.

My conversation with OW ended abruptly after I asked her when she last had sex with H then she asked if we where having sex while they where. She was offended that I was asking questions about her sex life but would not discuss my own with her. I regret not suggesting she get an STD test if she was so worried about who he’d been with.

I’m still baffled by the number of times my questions where answered with, “I didn’t think about that.” For someone who had perfected the art of overthinking things, he wasn’t doing much thinking.

When I told him I wanted him to get tested for STI's he said he didn't need to because "She may be a lot of things, but she isn't a whore".

I had no idea they were monogamous!

If all this stuff was in a Hollywood movie I would assume it was fiction. But having lived through it, it's all stranger than fiction, but still truth.

When asked if they had sex in our bed her answer was:"Yes, but only on my side of the bed. We didn't use your side".-I choked on my esophagus.

When asked if they had sex in our bed her answer was: "Yes, but only on my side of the bed. We didn't use your side".-I choked on my esophagus.

Ummm, I can't even begin to respond to that insanity. Sorry it happened. Did you get rid of the bed?

I think my best one was from POSOW who said she and WH stopped sleeping together after DD was born bc "it was an ethical thing" for her!

According to WH, they didn't start the PA until DD was 10yrs old.....

[This message edited by gmc94 at 11:47 AM, September 22nd, 2020 (Tuesday)]

Also, since he didn't use a condom EVER, I asked him why he hadn't been worried about STI's, he said, "She's a nurse, I figured she would know if she wasn't clean" That little brain sure is stupid!

I had several gooders from my WW...it was like an alien had possessed her body...but a few highlights:

"You have no legal right to look through my phone. It's against the law and I'll call the police." Ahhh...no honey. My company actually owns that phone and I own the company so let's just call the police and see what happens.

"He is so good with his kids. He takes them on bike rides every morning." Well, didn't you tell me that your dad used to do that and that you hated it profusely? her, "Oh, I didn't think about it like that."

"When I was at his house once, he was complaining about having to spend $700.00 a month for child support." I said, Did you tell him how much you spend on clothes in a month? Her..."No, I didn't want to scare him."

"Sex with him was really awkward." Yeah...I can imagine having anal sex the first time you met would be.

"He is a really active person. He does a lot of stuff, like play the guitar." Me, so he plays the guitar and fucks you. what else does he do?

"I really think you would be friends if I had not cheated with him. You would like him." Ahh...seriously? That thought popped into your head?

My stbxw tried to get me to be friends with this last AP. "You'd really like him", she said. (Before the last dday) She tried to get me to sell him a car, too. She also inexplicably showed me a youtube video of him playing a song on his guitar, and we both laughed about how bad it was. WTF? She is one fucked-up person.

Not my problem anymore.

WH told me AP#2 had “beautiful eyes” and was “pretty”

When I saw her, my knees buckled. She was profoundly ugly

Think Hey Arnold ugly ( cartoon character with football shaped enormous head)

Damn ugly

It's worth sharing something I remember from like 21-22 years ago that involved an extended family member; that can definitely be filed under the "Stupid bs cheaters say" category.

Bc this individual was/is a family (even if only by extended/step) member & bc of their relationship with other family members, for around 5-ish years, I had nearly a front row seat to a lot of goings-on to this extended relative's personal life & vice versa.

At one time, I kinda looked up to, trusted & respected this individual. Until they began saying AND doing things that made me question did I ever really know this individual like I thought & believed for so many years & furthermore, did other loved ones know this individual as well as they thought & were led to believe.

I guess a a sizeable handful of our family believed this individual until we didn't - or, more properly, until this family member freely decided & chose to let their mask slip & we began seeing the real person underneath everything & this is exactly where "Stupid shit cheaters say" is 100% appropriate....

I'll spare everyone the cliche details, but it's definitely worth sharing how this individual both said AND did some absolutely asinine things in the name of chasing after, screwing around with & attempting to destroy the marriage of a coworker he absolutely knew was very much married AND, back then, at least, had two grade school aged kids. A dog. A mortgage on a decent middle income home. Vehicles & the usual things associated with a middle income life.

My family member's cheating story is zero different than ANY others here, so I'll spare everyone the bulk of the cliche details except to say that by way of other family members, it eventually got back to me that this individual was not only indeed very much intimately involved & "sleeping with" his very much married coworker..but that these cheating dumbasses were going around first telling friends then certain close relatives then us extended family that they were planning to put OW on his insurance benefits plan AND work on getting her [fallopian] tubes "reversed" so that they could have kids or at least "try."

The first time or two I heard this, I was either too tired from work to care or simply too incredulous to do anything more than laugh & carry on with whatever I was doing when told.

One night, after a sizeable family get-together dinner, I remember asking dude about what I both overheard & what I was then told; to which the extended relative confirmed yes to the rumors.

I legit thought & believed that this relative was better than to stoop as low as he did, considering some of his FOO's backgrounds.

Seriously, I genuinely believed that this relative was better than that bc of so much of what he both witnessed AND personally experienced as an older child & through his teen years & even occasionally through his time in the military.

I remember actively listening to him as he spoke about OW & everything & I suppose I would've just shook my head & all but ignored the rest UNTIL I both met the OW & they continued the insane bs about putting OW in his insurance & try to get her tubes surgically reversed so they could have an AC.

NEVER mind that BOTH of these cheating idiots were very much legally married to their own respective betrayed spouses. BOTH had grade school aged children AND were MONTHS from hammering out ANYTHING that so much as remotely resembled a working split two parent judge approved child custody sharing arrangement.

But dammit if these actively lying AND cheating losers weren't going around telling anyone who'd listen to them that they were trying for an AC of their own!

For me, personally, the final straw was when these cheaters began dragging immediate family members into their drama.

I looked up clinical success rates of tubal reversal surgeries, printed off a couple pages & casually plopped it in this cheating relative's hands.

I guess it didn't sit very well with the poor widdle lurve struck cheater that successful surgical tubal reversals hover somewhere between 7% at a high end & somewhere around one MAYBE two-ish % at the lower end.

Then there was the pesky inconvenient truth of him being wholly unable to add OW to his work related insurance policy unless they were legally married or, at the very least, in some kind of legally recognized partnership & considering BOTH were very much legally married to other individuals... There was simply ZERO way that adding OW to his work insurance for an EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE *AND* very likely NOT to be medically successful - meaning resulting in a viable pregnancy - procedure was in ANY way REALISTIC.

This was how holy shit far gone into lala cheater fantasy land that my relative was!

From what I do remember, they did get a place & move in together, BUT... it was in a very large apartment/condo/duplex community down the road from where they [back then] worked.

So much was actively working AGAINST these stupid cheaters from the start.

And BOTH of them stupidly BELIEVED that they were "special" & that their lurve was "different."

Though I no longer remember the full details, I do remember that this extended family member & his married OW limped along for a few more months but they blew up in semi epic proportion bc none of their fantasy based "dreams" & "plans" came to fruition. That & the OW ended up reconciling (however THAT fiasco turned out, Idk.) with her betrayed husband.

It's also worth sharing that things with that OW ended when OW discovered that he was lying to AND actively cheating on her with the woman that he'd eventually marry a few short years later.

Apparently they're still married & living the redneck dream in a deep south state. BUT....

Karma seems to continue stalking my cheating relative in the form of serious hurricane damage to their house, various small to significant health issues related to both aging AND from various lifestyle decisions & choices through the years.

The takeaway; the "gist" of me sharing this is for me to add to the discussion forum & pile of "Stupid shit cheaters say" bc it's definitely a whopper: A once respected & cared about loved one telling me & others that he's going to personally pay for his married OW to have her tubes surgically reversed so that they can have an affair child & other stupid shit said while deep in the throes of a cheating based relationship.

Just real.

I'm fair certain that we have readers & lurkers here than have experienced & can share far worse than even my story.

((gentle virtual hugs)) from a fellow narcissistic abuse survivor, 1ptsdsurvivor71