SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Posting here as it seems like no one visits/posts in Investigative Tips any more. Open your WS messages ( I have an IPhone), pick yourself or anyone to send a text to ( safer to use yourself in case you accidently send it ) hit the smiley face on the bottom left hand corner to open your most used Emoji's. When I look at my WH last used ones there is an Emoji there that I haven't got from him at least back to Dec 19, 2019. I only delete the texts from him that don't have Emoji's - that way I can see the ones that he uses the most and actually sort of track them. Doesn't make sense that the one I am questioning stays in the top 8 used and he's not sent to me - even when he sends at least me numerous others that appear after it.................thoughts peeps?

Which emoji is it? I guess if he doesn't send a lot of emojis it would stay there?

Do you think he deletes messages?

What else is going on that is causing you anxiety?

I have an iphone as well. My top 8 frequently used (the larger ones on the left) are ones I have never used or received. I have no idea why they are there. Then of the smaller ones, I only use four of the top 15 with any regularity.

So it may be nothing, but if you already have reason to be suspicious then that could be another story.

If it's just 🚀💎👐🌝, he's probably just memeing on WSB. If it's more 🍆💦, that's a problem.

Stubbornfit I know for sure he deletes texts and Safari history. Just other bells of mine telling me to pay attention. Landlark I don't have larger or smaller ones they are all the same size. This0is0Fine it's a smiley face with hearts for eyes.....so something he shouldn't be sending anyone but me.....When I look at mine I can see and verify that they are ones that I have sent frequently and the one on the bottom of the 4th row is one I sent last week, so I know the phone is prioritizing them pretty accurately. So what I am saying is the smiley face with the heart must have been sent quite a few times to someone, but it's not me......

I don't track my WS. I figure what is done in the dark will come into the light. I could not stay if I had to follow, check, or investigate. I won't do it

Landlark I don't have larger or smaller ones they are all the same size.

We may have different software versions. My point was that my emojis don't reflect reality at all.

If he's deleting texts and safari history though, that's really the bigger issue. People who have nothing to hide, don't hide.

I don't know if this is common knowledge, if you go to the texts and press @ every sent text address will pop up. Even if the text is deleted the iphone keeps the address ready to be used again (I think)

If he's deleting texts and his browser history on a regular basis, that itself is enough of a reason to be suspicious.

Not deleting text messages and browser history are rules in the Reconciliation for Dummies handbook. Why is he deleting these things? (Well, I think we know why). More importantly, what consequences have you issued to him for deleting these things?

God, I hated this part. Googling what the pink heart next to someone's name in Snapchat is vs the yellow one... It is hands down the worst part of anything.

I know the very last time I caught her it was when an app downloaded on our daughters ipad randomly (that's linked to her account). It had some app that would lock up pictures or some shit. I never saw those pictures. There was a second password that would get into a fake account that had everything in it. that was about the time I called my lawyer and asked her to proceed.

I digress... it's a trigger for me. Wading though this hellscape of determining the algorithms that govern our technology was far and away the worst part of all of this...

and usually a waste of time tbh

and usually a waste of time tbh

Indeed.

I digress... it's a trigger for me. Wading though this hellscape of determining the algorithms that govern our technology was far and away the worst part of all of this...

Yeah, one of the very few things that can still get to me is looking at my cell phone bill. Just logging in makes me feel a twinge of sickness.

I swear it's worth divorce just to not ever have to go through a spouse's phone or any online account ever again.

Thank you MickeyBill2016

I don't know if this is common knowledge, if you go to the texts and press @ every sent text address will pop up. Even if the text is deleted the iphone keeps the address ready to be used again (I think)

I did this on my own phone and it does seem to bring up some names/numbers.

It never ceases to amaze me all of the great info that is here in these forums. Have to admit I never had the don't delete anything conversation and our DDays are years out. I'm of the mind that hardtomove is right - if it's in the dark it will always find it's way into the light.

[This message edited by Gumdropped at 3:52 PM, June 16th (Wednesday)]

And that little Face with hearts for eyes emoji is working it's way up to the top of the list..........

Thanks, Gumdropped. Snooping in his digital life still makes my heart race, but it is the digital crumb trail that gave me every one of my Ddays. It's amazing the ghost trail that lingers online, and how many things were right there in front of my face. I'm happy to say he passed the emoji check, and the @ check is up next.

I can relive the timeline of the downloads of his cheating, secret texting and remote vibrator apps any time I want to because we share an apple billing account. I didn't think to look until year 2 after my first discovery. I look all the time now. I have found her scent in every social media app we have ever used, so I still keep an eye out for them both. She has deleted all of her social profiles, but it's amazing what other people post and tag that is searchable.

So many of my discoveries involved random searches for her name or email handle on old phones or computers. Swipe left on an iphone and enter any search word that pops into your head - I did random words like kisses or panties and pieces of deleted text remnants showed up, and email fragments, travel plans, hotel confirmations. It was a nightmare of trickle discoveries that confirmed what I suspected and he kept denying. Once I got my first clue, my gut was never wrong, and digital forensics was my only way to prove I was not crazy.

I have checked search histories, letter by letter of the alphabet to see what pops up, I scoured deleted files, sent files, hard drive backups, youtube video history, you name it, and I just kept stumbling onto things that he should have done a better job of cleaning up. He's smart, but busy, and lazy, and they got sloppy, using seven email accounts and a dozen apps between them. I know I never found it all, but I found enough evidence to make my case and expose their lies.

I would give anything to let go of the itch to look sometimes, but my brain is now hardwired to be suspicious, to check and confirm. The only difference now is I tell him what I am doing and let him know he passed another quality check. I want him to understand that if he should backslide, I will very likely find out. I am hyper tuned in and paying a lot of attention. I promise myself it won't always be like this. I know I have better things to do with my time, we all do. But this is the world we live in now.

WhatisLove

That doesn’t sound like a marriage it sounds like you are the monogamy police. How awful for you.

I decided if I had to live like that I would D my H. I also decided that if I had to resort to a polygraph test to get the truth I would D him also.

In my opinion you are either 100% in the marriage or not. If not - move on.

I wouldn’t say that emojis are in themselves and indicator of anything. The red heart is one of my top ones because I keep sending it as a reaction to my mothers various pet pictures. People don’t use them with a consistent meaning behind them and they are sometimes not even the ones you frequently use.

Maybe you just have to look at them alongside other evidence and judge based on that. As said though, being the marriage police isn’t any fun and maybe you’d be better considering whether it’s worth it? The deletion of browsing history etc is a much bigger red flag.

The1stwife,

It is not as awful as you interpret. Well, maybe it is, everything about being blindsided by a LTA is awful.

I was more sharing all the ways I got to the truth in the last three years, this is not my current daily life. I should have put this comment on the investigative tips forum, or stuck to the topic of emojis only, and not blathered on. I was hoping to be helpful, not to feel judged. I'm sure you meant well, and I hear you, and I've heard it before - divorce and move on seems to be a popular suggestion.

My theory is we can always D, but this is our one shot at reconciliation, and we are trying to find our way through to whatever ending makes sense for us. I want to get to the point where the urge to check is gone and that will take time based on the way this story has unfolded. I am working on it, but I trust is very hard to rebuild.

WhatisLove….

I’m glad it’s not as terrible as it sounded in your prior post. I would hate to see you spending all that time day in and day out checking up on him. It’s just more of the same type of Dday experiences — in my opinion.

The betrayed finds another text or email or hidden app message and it’s like being blindsided all over again.