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Newest Member: onthefence2024

Reconciliation :
Tiny little pizza legs

Topic is Sleeping.
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 emergent8 (original poster guide #58189) posted at 11:00 PM on Saturday, December 31st, 2022

When I found out about the A, my husband and I were childless and I had been trying to get pregnant for about a year, without success.

On D-Day, after the initial confrontation, i remember sitting by our back window and processing what it all meant. I got really quiet (I’m shockingly calm in a crisis), and I started to think out loud about what this meant for our lives. I remember turning to my husband and commenting, "I always pictured us having little kids and taking them up the mountain and teaching them to ski, with their tiny little pizza legs….. I can’t believe we’re not gonna get to do that…." My husband, realizing the gravity of it all, dropped to his knees and whimpered, "I wanted that too…" and he put his head in my lap and we both cried together about the loss of our marriage.

Today, almost 6 years later we took our 4.5-year-old and 2-year-old skiing. The little one wore a harness held by my husband, but was so proud to be doing it. My eldest, whose only fear is not being the fastest on the mountain eschewed the pizza legs in favour of bombing straight down and stopping only when she tipped over. She was buzzing the entire trip home. It was a good day. I am so incredibly grateful.

Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.

posts: 2134   ·   registered: Apr. 7th, 2017
id 8771659
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fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 1:25 AM on Sunday, January 1st, 2023

Wonderful update. Very happy for you and your family. Great to see your hopes and visions come to fruition. Keep on, keepin on!

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3893   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8771667
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Oldwounds ( member #54486) posted at 7:03 AM on Sunday, January 1st, 2023

Very, very cool update!

Married 36+ years, together 41+ years
Two awesome adult sons.
Dday 6/16 4-year LTA Survived.
M Restored
"It is better to conquer our grief than to deceive it." — Seneca

posts: 4719   ·   registered: Aug. 4th, 2016   ·   location: Home.
id 8771695
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Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 12:54 PM on Sunday, January 1st, 2023

That’s wonderful.

Husband had six month affair with co-worker. Found out 7/2020. Married 20 years at that point; two teenaged kids. Reconciling.

posts: 630   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8771699
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WalkinOnEggshelz ( Administrator #29447) posted at 1:52 PM on Sunday, January 1st, 2023

Beautiful. grin

If you keep asking people to give you the benefit of the doubt, they will eventually start to doubt your benefit.

posts: 16686   ·   registered: Aug. 27th, 2010   ·   location: Anywhere and everywhere
id 8771701
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ChamomileTea ( Moderator #53574) posted at 2:53 PM on Sunday, January 1st, 2023

That's lovely! I had to look up "pizza legs" though since I have zero ski knowledge. What an adorable mental picture it makes though. smile

BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs)
Married 40 years; in R with fWH for 8

posts: 7061   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8771704
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:47 PM on Sunday, January 1st, 2023

Reading this is a great way to start 2023. Thanks for sharing.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 29994   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8771706
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 3:55 PM on Sunday, January 1st, 2023

Love this!!!

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3595   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8771707
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 4:38 PM on Sunday, January 1st, 2023

That’s a great update, thanks for sharing

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3458   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8771712
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BraveSirRobin ( member #69242) posted at 7:43 PM on Sunday, January 1st, 2023

Love this. Thank you for the New Year's Day smile. smile

WW/BW

posts: 3629   ·   registered: Dec. 27th, 2018
id 8771718
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 emergent8 (original poster guide #58189) posted at 10:11 PM on Sunday, January 1st, 2023

I had to look up "pizza legs" though since I have zero ski knowledge.

I wondered whether I should include an explainer. wink For anyone else who is not a skier, "pizza legs" are the triangle shape you put your skis in when teaching kids to slowly snowplough down the mountain. It’s VERY cute.

Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.

posts: 2134   ·   registered: Apr. 7th, 2017
id 8771724
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HardenMyHeart ( member #15902) posted at 12:10 AM on Monday, January 2nd, 2023

Great update! Thanks for sharing this.

Me: BH, Her: WW, Married 39 years, Reconciled

posts: 7038   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2007
id 8771729
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 2:26 AM on Monday, January 2nd, 2023

What an amazing update. I'm so glad I logged on just for this read alone :)

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades - Children (1 still at home) Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBS 2018 Cease & Desist sent spring 2021"Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3797   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8771740
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Ladybugmaam ( member #69881) posted at 2:06 PM on Monday, January 2nd, 2023

That's beautiful.

EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son
I am a phoenix.

posts: 473   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2019
id 8771763
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 2:51 PM on Monday, January 2nd, 2023

This is so COOL...and thank you for explaining what "pizza legs" meant smile . I've never been skiing...and had no idea what that was...but it does leave a cute "mental picture" like ChamomileTea wrote grin !!

THANK YOU also for including this in the "Positive Reconciliation Stories" thread!!! It is like a belated Christmas present...and I LOVE those too grin !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6615   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8771766
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Luna10 ( member #60888) posted at 9:20 AM on Tuesday, January 3rd, 2023

What a wonderful update! I couldn’t stop imagining two little humans with their legs in the pizza position, crazy cute.

Congrats, I’m happy for you!

Dday - 27th September 2017

posts: 1850   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2017   ·   location: UK
id 8771846
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Hannah47 ( member #80116) posted at 1:05 PM on Tuesday, January 3rd, 2023

What a heartwarming story, thanks for sharing! I also had to search for "pizza legs" grin I don’t have access to your whole post history, but from what I read, you two seem to be a textbook example of reconciliation, and a proof that nothing is impossible if both BS & WS are in it 100%. Congratulations and all the best to your family!

Fate whispers to her, "You cannot withstand the storm."
She whispers back, "I am the storm."

posts: 371   ·   registered: Mar. 21st, 2022
id 8771856
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 emergent8 (original poster guide #58189) posted at 9:10 PM on Tuesday, January 3rd, 2023

Thank you all. Truly. I don’t think we’d have made it, had it not been for this site.

from what I read, you two seem to be a textbook example of reconciliation, and a proof that nothing is impossible if both BS & WS are in it 100%

The perfectionist teacher’s-pet in me loves this comment. The reality is that none of this has felt example-worthy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so proud of us and how far we’ve come, but let me be clear, those first few years were as chaotic and messy as anyone else’s A -story (add pregnancy hormones!) and felt about as far from textbook as it gets. I wouldn’t want anyone to read this and get a different impression.

Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.

posts: 2134   ·   registered: Apr. 7th, 2017
id 8771919
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Trapped74 ( member #49696) posted at 11:21 PM on Tuesday, January 3rd, 2023

"French-fries, pizza! French-fries, pizzzzzzza! French-fries, PIZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAA!' (followed by the sound of a yard-sale.)

That's why I snowboard. laugh

Great update!

Many DDays. Me (BW) 49 Him (WH) 52 Happily detached and compartmentalized.

posts: 335   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2015   ·   location: Oregon
id 8771939
Topic is Sleeping.
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