SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Today is 4 years and 1 day since DDay 1. It feels like years. Ahhh, perhaps that is because it HAS been years. Crazy when you think about it.

The crises have passed. We're doing wonderfully. Our relationship is rock-steady and our communication is still exceptional. She continues to do the work and continues to remind me why I decided to give R a chance to begin with.

I do still get dark from time to time but it's not the same kind of darkness that it used to be. Whereas it used to be a rage with intense sadness at its core, it has become more of a nostalgic pang of regret for that which was lost before it had ever even been built.

I do still get mind movies - that probably never will go away. I'm depressed these days but that's more to do with finances than anything else. Other than that, the meds cocktail my psychiatrist put together seems to be effective. I also plan to take shrooms on a guided trip one of these days to introspect and introflect deeper than I've been able to thus far.

SD, thanks for sharing.

Great progress by you and your W.

I wish you and your wife further healing.

Safe hugs.

Much Kudos for having the courage to work to stay together.

Good to hear from you - I remember your struggles back then. I'm 5 years out from d-day1 amazingly and I can only say that I feel nothing like I did back then. This too shall pass really was the case for me.

Glad to hear you are doing so well!

Thanks for posting this kind of update, it’s super encouraging to hear that this is a real possibility while wading thru the gray. Peace to you and yours.

Thanks for the update. I'm happy your life is getting better and getting better in the way you want it to.

Thank you for posting your update...very POSITIVE stuff there!!

...it has become more of a nostalgic pang of regret for that which was lost before it had ever even been built.

Those pangs do still hurt. When I feel them...I remind myself that it was MY choice to STAY...and try and build something even better than what we would have had if the A had not happened. We did...and that helps. The bridges were burned to that beautiful old place where we were...and we barely made it out. There is NO going back there. But what we built...with the BEST parts of that old place...has truly become a masterpiece!

I do still get mind movies - that probably never will go away.

Those mind movies of mine have been obliterated...mostly from the ACTIONS that my H and the adultery co-conspirator did just a day after Dday! They had this magical rainbow covered fantasy world where...in my H's words...everything just came easy for them...they didn't have to work at anything. I SAW the look on my H's face when he read the reply from the adultery co-conspirator to his NC message...and whatever fantasy he felt from the A...just POPPED...and it was truly a BLESSING for me to be able to see it happen!! They USED each other to get what they each desired...and in the end...they only got what they deserved...the feeling of BEING used. That feeling is NOT desirable AT ALL!! The sex acts were REAL...but they were fueled by a fantasy...and had no substance to it. Everything else concerning the A was the same way.

When a mind movie comes up...I can easily put in the reality aspect...and see it for what it truly was. It honestly looks so different from that perspective.

Glad to hear your positive update. I absolutely remember both you and your wife's story. You've come a long way.

If you're on psychotropic drugs, you shouldn't be experimenting with psychedelics, even natural ones like shrooms. Don't mess with your brain chemistry.

If you're on psychotropic drugs, you shouldn't be experimenting with psychedelics, even natural ones like shrooms. Don't mess with your brain chemistry.

I’m not a doctor but I have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express and I’ve done mushrooms.

Do not mix mushrooms with doctor’s prescriptions for psychotropic drugs.

I’ll go further and say do not do mushrooms until you are in a solidly content - sustained contentment - frame of mind, long after the psychotropics have become unnecessary.

The mind movies might not go away… but eventually they will be very few and far between. It just takes time. I remember when I couldn’t fathom a future of no longer seeing the constant mind movies.

The mind movies don't ever go away. It's been over 35 years and I still get them occasionally.

Thank you all for the wonderful words of encouragement and support. I know that neither of us would have made it this far, nor the R itself if not for the SI family.

Also, I spoke to my psychiatrist about the shrooms today. She's asked me to hold off for now and to not do it until after I start going to therapy again. I've been lax on therapy because it no longer was having any positive effect and money's tight right now.