SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

i also believe, without a doubt, that the OW (and i use that term loosely as well) got pregnant on purpose.

what 40 yr. old gets pregnant by accident??!! yeah, i thought so!

she was aiming to get the whole package, child and my H.

she freaked when my H stated he didn't want the OC.

people that know her and the situation have told us, "well, she got what she wanted." WTF??!!

i agree with me&my3, it is an act of pure selfishness.

the fact that she is going around telling people, tells me that she sees nothing wrong with what she has done. if i got pregnant by a MM, i like to believe i would be extremely embarrased. mind you, it would never happen to begin with.

I don't know if my DH was as dumb as a box of rocks or what, but after I found out about everything, and he had told her - again - that he wasn't leaving me for her, then she was worried about the baby being white. I should explain that her H is black. Okay, so if she just wanted a boy because her husband "couldn't make boys" then why wasn't she worried about that before? Did it finally dawn her the dumb twit that 1 white man + 1 white woman = a white child?

handh

i hope you don't mind but that is the funniest thing i have heard in awhile.

how stupid are these women?

i would love to see her H's face when her baby is born

My stbx also has an OC with his mOW...her son is 10 mos younger than mine. That is where he was while I was sitting in the NICU with our premature child. She had the nerve to confront me about my son's '1/2 brother' over the phone...fortunately so I couldn't reach her throat to crush it. She'll never admit, but she did it intentionally...thought it would be a package deal and give her an excuse to leave her H...what a slut.

I hate her so much...there was a time when it was an all-consuming hatred. I've wished her and OC dead and any number of other things. STBX pays cs to her...and hers was established first...and he recently admitted to me that he had visitation with OC as well. Thank God I left him...this is NOT something I could tolerate hanging over my head for the rest of my life. As it stands right now, we have not yet been to court, so OC is getting cs, but our son is not...how fucked up is that? I HATE that fucktard and his bitch...and even though it isn't the kids fault, the mere thought of him makes me sick as well. I can only hope that stbx will just walk away and disappear. I don't want his $ and my son definitely doesn't need his influence. Fucking OW can have him...my son deserves so much better....soooo much better. He's done a great disappearing act so far...now if we ever see/hear from him again, it will be too soon.

cat,

If she had a child by my DH that OC would be over 4 years old now. I really wonder if she was even pregnant. No one knows her and so I haven't been able to find out a damn thing. Some things just seem too contrived, but then I wonder how in the hell would you fake a pregnancy? This isn't a damn soap opera, although after D-Day my life did sound like one!

Txrose_77 I feel the same way you do about the OW and OC. Just the thought of them two of them sickens me to death.

Even if my H and I was to ever R, the thought of trying to play stepmom to OC just grosses me out. I have never seen the OW and am afraid if I did, it would be very dangerous for the both of us.

My stupid H gets this big smile on his face when he talks about the OC (Little girl). I just want to punch him in the head when he does that. When comes by to see our daughter who is 6 months old he just smiling and hugging her like there is no tomorrow. And I want to take that pleasure away from him. Which I know it would not be fair to her. But I feel like he is comparing her to the OC, and that annoys me. I'm probably doing more comparing than he is actually in my head.

He asked the other day when can he take her by himself. I told him never, and I ment that. Even If we don't stay together I will fight for sole custody and he only supervised visitation. I know I can do this because i breastfeed. I feel if I let him take her he will take her to the OW and to meet her half sister. And don't want that to happen ever.

This all feels like a dreadful nightmare. I need it all to stop.

Me: BS 38 yrs old

H: WS 41 yrs old

our daughter 6 months

Married 15 yrs

OC: 2yrs old

OW: whore 41 yrs old

thank you for this thread-I have been struggling thinking I am the only one going through this. My H and I found out this week that the OC is his-OW is suing in court for CS-which is ridiculious in my mind, because she makes over $80K a year! My H and I have been in MC and IC for 6 months and things are going well. He feels and obligation to pay, but is concerned about this being a pay raise to the OW, not a benefit to the kid. Too much to write about in one message-but thanks for being here.

2kids,

She isn't going after your h for cs because she needs the $$ she's doing it to prove a point.

Me

Me,

That's what I think too!! She has acted like the jilted wife-LOL! I can't tell you how much I want to tell her family the crap she has pulled.....

Thanks!

2kids

Hey everyone! I forgot about this thread until I saw it on another post.

Found out about my husband's OC when support papers came in the mail on Feb 3,2005. I thouught it was some kind of joke when I read who the mother was. She was someone I called my little sister because I was her mentor through a well known program.

Needless to say, I brought her into my home, my family, my life with open arms. Never knew she would be a backstabbing whore(what does that make my husband?-still working on that).

Anyway, he had the paternity test done Jan 2005. Mind you, I had no knowledge of the ONS or any of this until

Feb 2005. He has paid child support(he is currently unemployed) but the mother has not contacted him since, as far as I know.

She knows where I live. My children love her but I will NEVER(and I mean it this time dammit!) have anything to do with her. It is up to my husband whether he will have a relationship with his son. I have my own 2 children (8,10) to worry about.

She knows she was wrong and she is probably ashamed(and she should be!

Just like my husband knew he was married, she knew it to and even knew my 2 children. Totally unbelievable what some people will do to ruin your good thing.

Anyway, sorry so long winded. Glad to have an area to vent as this puts an extra load on the BS. Glad to have others that understand

[This message edited by sweeta66 at 10:09 PM, January 12th (Thursday)]

Those of you whose H's have to pay CS, doesn't it make you angry that money is being taken away from your kids to pay for the OC?

I know when I found out about the maybe-OC it really infuriated me. At that time I wasn't 100% positive about PA's paternity laws. I had always wanted a little girl and my DH's favorite excuse for us not having any other children was "We can barely afford the one we have." But then he goes out and gets the bleached blonde bimbo pregnant on purpose? Neither of them knew that in PA a child born in a marriage is considered a child of that marriage, so as far as he knew he was going to have to pay some sort of support for this kid.

It really burned my ass that he was willing to take away from our legitimate child for a child he had no business fathering. I also resented that he wouldn't have another child with me, his wife, but he had no problem fulfilling her request to get her pregnant.

Everyone is saying that we should file for CS first or the OW gets the most. What is the norm for CS? And what is the Least that could be awarded if you don't file first?

Twokidsmom- Her family doesn't know the baby is someone elses? Is she lying to them? I know they say we should take the High road, but sometimes you just want to see OW hurting the way you are. But I know thats not the mature way to handle things.

Have you talked to an attorney? That would be the best thing to do. Every state is different and a lawyer could advise you the best route for your particular situation.

Hey all...in my case the OW is pregnant and I'm not. Nice huh? That means that if she decides to come after H for CS, she will definitely be "first". I don't care if H has to work 4 jobs. Not once f-ing penny of his regular paycheck will go to that whore. Oh and I agree w/ those of you who say how could the OW not know she'd get pregnant? My H told me that OW was on the pill and that the condom broke. So why is she pregnant? PLEASE!

Hey all...in my case the OW is pregnant and I'm not. Nice huh? That means that if she decides to come after H for CS, she will definitely be "first". I don't care if H has to work 4 jobs. Not once f-ing penny of his regular paycheck will go to that whore. Oh and I agree w/ those of you who say how could the OW not know she'd get pregnant? My H told me that OW was on the pill and that the condom broke. So why is she pregnant? PLEASE!

In principle, I understand that my husband should pay CS to help support his own child. But I hate like hell that some of our money has to go to someone else. Our money should be going to our kids and our family. I feel bad about feeling that way but I also feel damn bad that MY husband has a child with someone else while we are married.

I am depressed about this. If my best friend(use to feel that it was my husband) could say he loves me and hurt me in the worst possible way, what can I expect from a stranger or someone who is just an acquaintance

Betrayedwife, my husband said the condom broke also. If he got it from her she probably put holes in it. I don't trust that heifer one little bit.

[This message edited by sweeta66 at 8:59 PM, January 13th (Friday)]

Ladies if you want to get an estimate of what your husband will be paying in cs do a google search under your states name for a child support calculator. This will at least give you a rough idea of what to expect.

Although most states have the "whoever files first rule" there are some that I'm aware of that don't such as Texas where they just divide it all up no matter who files first. Do as much research as you can. Be proactive for your own benefit, not reactive.

Sapphire, Everyone is telling you to file first because it's the truth. This is something you will see repeated over and over by bs with any previous experience in these matters.

In my situation there was a HUGE difference between what I now receive and what I would have received had I not filed first.

If you and your husband do not get legally separated most states allow for a small amount of credit for each of the children that you and he have together. In my case each of my children would have rec'd a credit the equivalent to less than one-fourth of what the ow would rec'v for 1 child. Completely unfair, but the law.

Betrayed, Only time will tell if you've made the right choice.

Sweet, It totally sucks to have this happening whether you have to pay a dime or not. But that money disappearing is a huge reminder.

Good luck girls,

Me

OC was definitely a deal breaker for me. At 37 yrs old with 3 other kids, she had to know how to prevent this. And the fact that they disregarded not only my safety but the health and safety of my then unborn son made it all the more so. I refuse to live with the fact that he takes money out of my son's pocket every mo for that bitch and her little meal ticket, so staying really wasn't an option for me. It would have pissed me off every month, so why put myself in that position? Besides, I also found out he was paying cs for yet ANOTHER child that I never knew he had...

The A's are bad enough in and of themselves...the constant reminder was just more than I could handle...

Wow this situation really sucks and those desperate low self esteem women that use children as meal tickets or a magnet to get someone else's husband need to get mental help. They obviosly have problems getting thier own men.

The dumb part is most men end up not wanting to see the child because of the OW. They all say they ONLY want the man to be in the "child's" life LOL my butt. They try to use the kid as a pawn to reminice about the fun they had making the illegit kid in the first place.

I know one thing especially with the father out of the picture THE STUPID OW in all these cases are going to have to tell thier little illegit adulterous born child that mom was a whore that tried to trap a married man with a family and that she could not act right and that is why the child has no father to speak to or know. Now lets see the only thing the child can think as it grows older is that its mom is a whore obviously. NOW think about it what woman in thier right mind would want to bring the child into the world to eventually figure that one out==Hello.

Phoebe, I think the same thing about the woman. Is that what I would want my child to think about me? My husband's OW stayed at our home frequently and we treated her like family. Is that how you treat someone who provided a safe haven when you were trying to get away from a bad home situation?

My husband said she was always saying sexual things to him but never told me So why didn't he tell me? Because her a** would have been put out! This all could have been prevented.

I don't know what my husband is going to do about his son. I am no longer going to worry. It is his problem. He is the one who may have to deal with the fact that in 15 yr, his son may come looking for him.

[This message edited by sweeta66 at 12:33 PM, January 15th (Sunday)]