SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

CC,

It was nice to hear what it life is like for you with the OC. You said the ow has not been difficult and knows her place.

That is the key right there. If I didn't have to deal with a person who is intent on destroying not only my life, but my husband and son, then I know I could deal with the OC.

The oc could also have a relationship with her biological father. But the oc's mother can not be trusted on even the smallest level. It is she who destroys the relationship that her child could have with the father.

Some of these women go on with their lives, once they have a child by a mm and he stays with his wife. But many of them don't. Which is our case.

I agree with icando. I have often wondered if my reaction would have been different had the OW attempted contact with "sugar" rather than "vinegar".

You get more flies with sugar....

Question for those of you whose husbands have gone through paternity testing already. Does the OW and OC have to be tested at the same time as my huband (all at once) or can the appointments be scattered. We have had NC with either so far.

In our case, H had to go first, pay for all three to be tested and then notify our attorney. Our attorney notified hers and then she and the little bastard had to go get tested. Results took about 7 weeks but we went through a court-appointed testing facility as opposed to a private facility.

My H went first on one day. Then 2 days later whore and oc went.

My H used a private facility.

Inappropriate response

[This message edited by Maureen at 5:37 PM, September 17th (Sunday)]

Ladies,

Here we go again!

MYOC&ME getting up on her pulpit once more......

She obviously fits perfectly into the typical OW mindset/pattern: big mouth, self-righteous and needs to be heard.

I don't wish to be the perpetrator of flame wars here, but MYOC&ME... WEREN'T YOU REQUESTED BY THE MODS NOT TO POST ON THIS THREAD?! Don't you get it???!!!

You are not welcome here! How DARE you tell ANY woman they deserve their empty womb!

What does that say about YOU ?!

PS- Get out your dictionary MYOC&ME. The term fits, and if the foo shits, wear it. Your arrogance (stupidity?) makes me furious!

[This message edited by BeeTrayed at 7:03 PM, September 16th (Saturday)]

I don't understand the attacks by the OW and their support groups when one refers to a proper legal term for an out of wedlock child to a MW...

I used this term and was attacked as being "so out of line" and as socially incompetent...and thus evil.

I'm sorry the term seems so insulting...what is insulting is the self rightousness by the OW and her supportive pond skum...to question my opinion on their behavior...I am not insulting the child..I am not that cruel...the one who is cruel is the OW who choose the situation she put her child into.......You know who is winning the arguement when the worst offender screams "FOUL PLAY".....as if, morality was a relevant characteristic of their behavior....NOT !

myoc&me,

You really have a problem. To take the term little bastard so personally. She wasn't talking about you and yours.

I just love how "morality" all of a sudden becomes an issue, when all along these OW don't consider morality when they are f***ing married men. I understand that me&myoc didn't know that he was married but you had a child out of wedlock and that according to the bible is IMMORAL, so please step off the pulpit and get out of our thread.

Bee..

I just know you would come out of your utopia to share your poised position.

*She obviously fits perfectly into the typical OW mindset/pattern: big mouth, self-righteous and needs to be heard.*

I have read here silently for a while now and have cried for some, laughed with some but more often than not I have shook in disbelief. OW, never knowingly. In fact she(his wife) was the one hidden from me so she was accually the OW in my story. Regardless of what side I have or should someday find myself again. The key for me is that I had enough self esteem to walk away from a man who showed absolutely no respect for me or the relationship we were suspose to be committed to. I also did no stand by like an ornament and hold the hand of the very man that beetrayed me while he continue his rain of beetrayal upon his child. Other woman....we were all other woman to the other woman depending on who he was with at the time.

*I don't wish to be the perpetrator of flame wars here, but MYOC&ME... WEREN'T YOU REQUESTED BY THE MODS NOT TO POST ON THIS THREAD?! Don't you get it???!!! *

I beleive I volunteered to leave. And no I dont get it. SI is a great forum and I see alot of healing going on here EXCEPT in this one thread. It perpetuate pain and hate. It reduces mothers to baby bashers. YOU want a place to be safe to do this??? Maybe we should create a web site just for child molesters to trade their child porn and discuss there stragity for getting to.... say just the bastard children of the world.

You are not welcome here! How DARE you tell ANY woman they deserve their empty womb!

How dare you or any other person tell any child that they do not deserve a father or support from that father.

[This message edited by MYOC&ME at 10:46 PM, September 16th (Saturday)]

*I understand that me&myoc didn't know that he was married but you had a child out of wedlock and that according to the bible is IMMORAL, so please step off the pulpit and get out of our thread.*

I had a child out of wedlock...Now I am going to Hell because it is in the bible...now my honest question for u is do u believe that your H is also immoral or does him being married to u exempt him and keeps him morally intact...honest question.

See I dont come from a position of morality by humanity. I would have never treated another woman the way you have been treated nor would I treat another woman the way you treat the OWs in your lives and I damn show would never in a million years treat the purity of a child with such disdan. You are women and many of u are mother yet you have turn a blind eye to the fact that OC is a child that is completly relient on his/her surrounding they didnt get a say in how when or if the came into the world. No one want the life that OW and your HUSBANDS gave their child.

[This message edited by MYOC&ME at 10:40 PM, September 16th (Saturday)]

ME&MYOC,

If you want to preach, go to church.

If you want to get ugly, look in the mirror.

I am sick of you and your pious self, as are others on this thread.

However, if you wish to stay, please do. Others will be along to bash you shortly.

Is self-flagellation part of your penance?

And just how clueless are you, to not know you were involved with a MM for *how* long?

PS-Have a nice week; I just got back from a nice vacation with my "terrible" husband. How about you?

[This message edited by BeeTrayed at 11:20 PM, September 16th (Saturday)]

**And just how clueless are you, to not know you were involved with a MM for *how* long?**

UMMMM...5yrs about 1/4 the length of time, "18yrs (WOW!!) ", your husband was able to conseal his OC/other life....Damn those H can be quite sneaky cant they?

Bash away? Unlike the children that get bashed here I am more that capable of handling my own.

So go ahead continue to misdirect your pain and anger.

[This message edited by MYOC&ME at 11:41 PM, September 16th (Saturday)]

I haven't been here in awhile so I thought I would check in and see how everyone is doing.

It seems our little OC Club has really grown. That makes me so sad. This is the club no one wants to belong too.

I'm glad I can come here for support when I need it and to give support to those I can.

I think that if ow can't handle the ow bashing that goes on here, ought to not post.

I have read that in the Wayward forums, that BS ought not read or post if they can't handle it.

I agree there aren't many places we can go to express our feelings.

Most of us are just so hurt and pissed and this is really the only place we can feel safe enough to express it.

M,

To again set the record straight, (as you seem to have difficulty grasping certain concepts):

My H had NC....period. The CS was made via automated payments from an account set up for just that purpose. Very easy to(gasp!) conceal and be "sneaky" handling it that way. He did it to protect his family from his terrible mistake (something you just can't seem to accept or get your head around). The OW is the one that changed all that with her spiteful need to get back at my H for his total rejection of her and the OC. (BTW, she saw red also when her OC was referred to as a bastard. Linguistics suck for OWs, I guess).

Your MM appears to have done nothing to protect you or your OC. He lied to both you AND his family. THAT, is *my* definition of a double life.

Surely there must have been certain holidays, etc. where he was not with you and had to be with his family. I would think that might have clued you in to something "being rotten in Denmark".

Somehow, the occurance of an automated payment from an account in another state, against an absentee "lover" on significant holidays, etc. doesn't seem to equal out in my estimation. However, this is fun....how long would you like to continue sparring? My kids are in college now so I have lots of time. Don't you have a job or diaper to tend to?

M,

I think my H is just as immoral as you are and both of u can go to Hell together. He might still be married so you could possible find him attractive.

As for being innocent, I agree with you that the OC is innocent but it is not my job to care about the OC's innocence and his dependence. You see when I had my two beautiful innocent children I made sure I was 1) married to their father 2) he was with me not married to another women, we were together on holidays 3) I had a profession where I could support my children. So you see I never would behave like an OW who either knowingly or not intrudes into a family, whether it is financially or by calling with a sob story about how her "innocent" child needs swimming lessons or some other bullshit. She had the OC with a man that was married and she did it on purpose, so she can deal with her OC's innocence not be. Really you are not helping anybody here, we are hurting. I don't know anybody on this thread personally but I can understand their situation because I am in it you on the other hand are not. I don't believe any of us would ever harm the OC we just don't want them in our lives. We want peace. We want these OW to accept their responsibility and raise the OC with the child support they get from our H and accept the facts.

And now we are back to sugar and vinegar. ME&, you didn't help your case any.