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Iím Safe

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burninghouse posted 8/24/2019 00:26 AM

Thank you for the update. Relieved you are ok. Stay safe and hugs to you!

Scoobydoo posted 8/24/2019 01:11 AM

Thank you everyone,

We had a liaison officer that's trained in this sort of thing so we have had some FAMILY counselling, it will continue when we're back from the coast.

After a long talk with the kids last night we have decided we're going to the coast today, we have hired some caravans on a camp site so we can spend some time together & try to make sense of this mess 'he' has created.

Thank you again for your support & kindness in my hour of need I truly am very grateful to each & everyone of you.

Also thank you for all my PM's, your advice & support is unbelievable.


JBWD posted 8/24/2019 01:28 AM

So glad youíre safe!
Iím sure this is too much to process, wishing you peace and some rest on the heels of this chaos.

OwningItNow posted 8/24/2019 03:24 AM

Scoobydoo, I have followed your story and been so impressed by your awakening and assertiveness. Your genuine goodness comes across in your posts, and I wish you and your kids the peace and happiness you deserve.

But, my heart is heavy with worry. Abusers with these kinds of control issues do not get better or change their minds. They lie in wait until the right moment comes. I wish there was some way you could go into hiding permanently, go somewhere he would never find you.

Take care of yourself.

Charlee posted 8/24/2019 04:45 AM

((((Scooby)))) prayers for continued strength and courage for you and your family!

nekonamida posted 8/24/2019 07:22 AM

But, my heart is heavy with worry. Abusers with these kinds of control issues do not get better or change their minds. They lie in wait until the right moment comes. I wish there was some way you could go into hiding permanently, go somewhere he would never find you.

I worry about this too. I hope that he spends enough time in jail to want to leave you alone when he gets out. Be very careful and don't let him back into your life ever again. He's a dangerous person, has no problems hurting you for standing up for yourself, and can probably hold one hell of a grudge.

Odonna posted 8/24/2019 07:53 AM

I was so scared for you! I am glad you have such a close family with your kids, and the trip to the coast sounds perfect!

Also, I am always astonished here that no matter what the situation someone always seems to have experienced something similar. Hugs in this case to Hellfire for sharing her terrible story of her father as a warning for you.

I will send some practical advice in PM.

alsdaboss posted 8/24/2019 10:02 AM

Never mind.

I put a whole diatribe in your JFO thread.

May still be relevant.

The gist of it,

Run like hell.

Glad you are safe.

[This message edited by alsdaboss at 10:04 AM, August 24th (Saturday)]

SerJR posted 8/24/2019 12:32 PM

Glad to hear that you're safe. He is a very dangerous man and you need to protect yourself and your family. No further contact with him - ever.
Make sure you continue to seek counseling for you and the kids. You all deserve better and to not live in fear.

rambler posted 8/24/2019 13:53 PM


Glad you are safe. You really have become aa incredible and brave woman. Your story is nothing short of amazing due to how you handled things.

A lot of people will give you advise but we are not experts, listen to the experts.

What you are dealing with is not who he was. You need to protect yourself and your family. Use an legal remedy available. Do not fall for what he tells you.

You need to end this relationship for everyone's benefit including (or especially) his

steadychevy posted 8/24/2019 17:48 PM

I haven't read all of the posts on the thread, only yours. I wonder if anyone has suggested you get a name change on SI that is totally unrelated to anything he can identify. I understand the Scooby was one of your dogs names so he found that easy. Just a suggestion.

Be very, very careful. You and your children.

sillyoldsod posted 8/25/2019 03:16 AM

Hi Scoobydoo. I'm so glad you're safe. Please accept my apologies for suggesting your (hopefully) stbxh's thread was a wind up. I wasn't aware of your posts and was incredulous as to what he was writing. Stay safe! The police have a duty of care to you after he's released..maybe a safe house. At the very least cameras, personal alarm linked directly to the local station etc etc. Strength to you!


Carissima posted 8/25/2019 04:51 AM

Hi Scooby

Hope you and your family are enjoying your stay at the coast, you've certainly got a great weekend for it.

Hopefully the court will award you sole residency of the home but please get your solicitor working on this as hard possible.

Those of us who live in the UK are unfortunately aware that the court system is slow and even when it comes to sentencing, the ones given can be so slight as to be non-prohibitive.

Have fun but stay strong x

Wool94 posted 8/26/2019 08:39 AM

Enjoy the coast as much as you can.

tikismom posted 8/26/2019 08:59 AM

So glad to see an update & that you are safe.

OneInTwenty posted 8/26/2019 15:45 PM

Bloody hell Scooby that was a nightmare, stay safe treasure. Thinking and worrying about you.

10 years ago a friend of my wife's was murdered by her husband, he killed himself later that same day, leaving 2 children (under 8) orphaned and left with a grandmother in poor health.

The friend was having an affair with her husband's best friend but it was out in the open, they were separated and they were more concerned about her husband's suicidal mental state until he knocked on her door one morning shortly after she'd taken the kids to school...

Be very careful Scooby.

crazyblindsided posted 8/26/2019 17:43 PM

(((Scoobydoo))) wow I am happy you are safe. Please stay far away from him!

Carissima posted 8/27/2019 11:12 AM

It was your WHs court appearance today wasn't it? Just checking in to see how it all went.

Hopefully you didn't have to appear and your lawyer was able to handle everything for you.

Keep staying safe, I hope you have people in real life supporting you through this.


Scoobydoo posted 8/28/2019 01:30 AM

Hi Everyone,

Just checking in,

Had a pretty great weekend considering the circumstances, I relaxed (externally) so the kids were able to chill out & enjoy their time away with all their babies.
We swam, we walked, we ate & we talked,
Even if I do say it myself I have some bloody awesome kids.
My eldest son rang my Dad, he then came to join us.
He was absolutely devastated, my heart broke for him, he was in complete shock as he knew nothing of what my life had been like.

Update on the WH,
He's still locked up in a cell at the police station,
his court appearance has been delayed till tomorrow for them to get a Psych Evaluation done first. Its scheduled for today at some point.

I have to say he has NEVER shown this behaviour before, he has been controlling & violent in the early years but not to this level of craziness, Due to the Toxicology Report done on his arrest showing high levels of alcohol & Drug use he may be sent to a Rehab Centre instead of prison.
The liaison officer has been fantastic keeping me up to date, we have more counselling set up for us all.

I couldn't get today off work as I'm a supervisor at my work place, (no-one to cover my job) but I have got the rest of the week off to sort some things out.

I have read all of your messages (here, my JFO thread, & all of my PM's) toooo many to reply individually today but I will respond & acknowledge when I have more time.

I'm being guarded by friends & loved ones so time & privacy doesn't seem to be my friend at the moment so I'm actually looking forward to some normalcy at work today.

Thank you for all of your kind words & advice, I will update & check in when I can.

Eternally Grateful



[This message edited by Scoobydoo at 1:31 AM, August 28th (Wednesday)]

Dragonfly123 posted 8/28/2019 01:57 AM

So glad to read your update Scooby. Your family are just wonderful to pull together the way you all have these past few days. Your poor dad, doesnít matter how old we are weíre still their babies. I should imagine itíll take weeks for you all to really process the scale of all of this. Weíre all thinking of you.

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