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He Wants Me Dead

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The1stWife posted 11/22/2019 06:20 AM

Thank you for the update and Iím glad to see your H is doing things to make amends.

I hope you are successful and happily reconcile.

cocoplus5nuts posted 11/22/2019 07:15 AM

I'm glad to read that your CH appears sorry for what he did. Hopefully, it's genuine.

told me that he was not making fun of me he genuinely wanted to know what kept me from jumping

Do you believe this, really? Think back on his tone and facial expression when he said it. Did it feel like genuine curiosity at the time, or something more insidious? I'm afraid he might be gaslighting you here.

nekonamida posted 11/22/2019 10:29 AM

I agree with Coco. Why the smirk when asking? And why didn't he take your near suicide attempt as serious and instead accused you of humiliating him with your R requirements so soon after? This does sound like gaslighting.

Skooch, I don't think it was a good idea to give him access to SI just yet. There's a thread in General on page 4 called "do couples use this forum" about WSes joining SI and I think you should read it. Take note of all the red flags of when an unremorseful WS misuses SI to further abuse and manipulate their BS. Make sure he's here for the right reasons.

JBWD posted 11/22/2019 15:12 PM

Glad youíre still here. Truly.

Skoochnski posted 11/22/2019 22:34 PM

@Coco and Neko:
Thank you for your concern. I am aware that it could be gaslighting and I have my eyes open.

I am so grateful for people I donít even know! I never knew I could feel so close to people Iíve never met! This is the best (and worst..😪 club/ group Iíve ever been a part of.

EllieKMAS posted 11/22/2019 22:44 PM

Skooch, I am glad for the update too and that you are still here. Just a couple things.

I would hold off on MC for right now. You both need IC for at least a few months first. MC done badly at this stage can seriously screw things up. Just my 0.02.

And if he is gonna join SI, fine. But don't give him your screen name. This is YOUR house and YOUR support. I second what Neko said - I would be wary of that myself.

Spend some time educating yourself on what a truly remorseful WS looks like. It is easy at this stage to want so badly for things to normalize that you can inadvertently minimize red flags in your own head. Ask me how I know that...

Just keep swimming!

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