SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

When her fog lifts (man whore boyfriend dumps her) she may switch course and come back. Remember she showed you who she is.

Lawyer Up, Lawman! You've got a fight on your hands with 2 narcissists who aim to "win." Just goes to show, beauty ain't everything, in fact it shouldn't be anything. It's what's on the inside that counts and everyone here knows that. Doesn't mean I'm not sorry you're here, which of course I am. This I know though, you will be alright...eventually.

When her fog lifts (man whore boyfriend dumps her) she may switch course and come back.

And hopefully lawman won't let her come crawling back without a lot of work on herself, if at all.

She's upset with your "snooping" and "feeling monitored"?

Sounds like a Scooby Doo villian "I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids."

There is a psychologist named Dr. Tara. She specializes in helping men in your situation. She has her own web page and is on Facebook.

Look up, A Shrink for Men, if you like. Lots of free articles and she can counsel over the phone.

Yeah - I'm the creep for "snooping?" I used to believe it. Although tough to admit, the night I confronted her, the "DDay" as it's called, she made me feel like the worst human being on earth - I truly felt like the horrible creep she told me I was. I admit that I profusely apologized to her - on the DDay - for "violating her privacy!" I cannot believe I had that mindset - but I did and that is so difficult and I am ashamed to admit. I was a wimp - a shell of a man, and she was used to making me feel that way and I was used to accepting it. It was not until THIS FORUM that I realized that although our story is nothing special, I am worth more than what she convinced me that I am worth. Thank you all!

I will keep updating y'all as things move forward.

Its great you are seeing through her BS. I really hope you get away from her. You don't deserve this. All you can do now is protect yourself. I would file and get away from her as soon as possible. There is nothing beautiful about the way she is acting so no matter how good she looks on the outside she is truly a ugly person. Her looks will go in time but this type of behavior will last much longer.

My xW was a decent looking woman with a great body. She used that to her full potential. Its been ten years and she has lost both and now she is also on her 7th child. She doesn't have custody of the other six and I am sure once this child is born she wont have custody of that one for long. In hear eyes everyone is out to get her and she is very to blame.

You cant help someone that doesn't believe they have a problem to begin with.

C

You've mentioned a few times, how hot your wife is.

You've heard the saying, "beauty is only skin deep."

Your wife may be attractive but she's ugly on the inside. It sounds like she's emotionally,and verbally, abused you for years. And it's now ended,with the extreme abuse of the affair. And,make no mistake, an affair is an extreme form of abuse. Mentally,emotionally, and physically abusive.

She also sounds completely narcissistic. She believes no matter what she says,or does, because she's pretty,you will tolerate it.

She's toxic.

You need to carry a VAR on you at all times. Wayward wives like to accuse their betrayed husbands of abuse, when they realize they're losing control of them. You need to protect yourself.

Also...you're not a creep. A marriage shouldn't have secrets. In a healthy marriage,there is full transparency. She's the creep here,not you.

[This message edited by confused615 at 1:18 PM, March 22nd (Wednesday)]

I have realized that she has controlled me our whole marriage. She is so used to the control and power over me, that when the tide has changed, she cannot stand it. She loved having a knife hanging over my neck that she can lower at any moment and she will not quietly tolerate being in a disadvantaged position. This is going to get ugly as hell - I know it. If she would only humble herself, admit what I already know, show remorse, real change, then maybe we can reconcile. But that's not her...she's far too prideful and narcissistic. I must admit, I truly miss the humble and beautiful girl I married. She's gone.

Google *Out of the Fog*.

BTDT. My XW was very similar to yours.

Strength

Yes. it will be a hellish ride out of infidelity. Read "biggers" posts, and follow his formula, as he has the best advice on the forum IMO. It WILL get better.

One tiny little weak thin thread is that she "found" this forum so there is a 2% chance that she is understanding what she's done.

Or she is just doing opposition research to find out what you are doing..

[This message edited by MickeyBill2016 at 1:41 PM, March 22nd (Wednesday)]

Your wife is extremely manipulative and abusive in her behaviour towards you.

You've probably lived it for so long, that you're used to her emotional abuse and how poorly she treats you... Because she's 'so sexy and desirable'. Then why did she marry you? She seems to think she's God's gift to men, so why among all those men, did she choose to marry you?

She calls you a creep to deflect from her own crappie behaviour. She had you apologising for catching her having an affair! She's torturing you and that is a million miles away from the behaviour of a wife.

Because it really doesn't sound like she's ever loved you. Was it your money she was after?

I don't care that she's reading. Her anger comes because she can see you're getting good advice and becoming wise to her manipulation, blame and lies.

I bet she and him have been laughing all this time behind your back.

She's angry, that people are hitting home to you that this wasn't a no sex affair, because from her perspective, if she said it enough, you'd believe her. She's taken advantage of your unconditional love for her, for too long.

She doesn't love or respect you and she knows it... And she's not one tiny bit sorry.

If she's suffered at your hands for 17 years, why hasn't she left to pursue a relationship with the vast number of men falling at her feet....

You

She's done you a massive favour by leaving.

[This message edited by sandylee at 1:49 PM, March 22nd (Wednesday)]

I just spoke with his wife - she knew almost absolutely NOTHING, other than her husband had "phone sex" with my wife. Of course she too was told that they never had sex, and as I described what I heard on the recorder, she was shocked and also came to the conclusion that physical sex was only REAL explanation of what they were talking about. She didn't know they were sending hard porn to each other, or that they met regularly. Before the recorder was destroyed by my wife, I took very good minute-by-minute written notes of what was said and by whom, so I am sending those to her. But, while we were on the phone, HE showed up at his house! She had to abruptly end the call. I know this is going to raise hell even further, but I need this closure. I need to know the truth as much as I can obtain, anyway. It was actually somewhat therapeutic to speak with her.

You did the right thing Lawman. It sucks for his wife, but she deserved the truth. Be prepared for your wife to go even more bats hit crazy! Get a variety and keep it on you at all times. Keep hanging tough brother.

Thank you for notifying the other BS!

This will probably be the point that POS dumps your WW. He will throw her under the bus in order to save himself, so be prepared for her coming back. I don't expect her to come back grovelling, she'll probably pull some shit out of her arse like how it's all your fault and she'll only come back if you change blah blah blah. Have you seen a lawyer yet? She has now abandoned you, change the locks.

You did the right thing telling the obs.

You would want to know.

She deserved to know.

Now she can protect herself.

You did a good thing there.

Hopefully you have a var on you. I would not be surprised if your wife doesn't come and retaliate against you for causing her OM problems.

Good for you for calling her and letting her know.

C

Definitely VAR. I'm one that wound up with silver bracelets. Not only a VAR, but is there a friend or neighbor you could have over for a while?

Even when unfounded, DV charges are taken seriously by the police. Usually, they will err on the side of caution and remove the man.

good job on contacting the other BS. You got the info from the paralegal. Great! if you still don't have an attorney on retainer, get one fast.

VAR, go to the store today and get one and learn how to use it. I know its hard to focus, but its time to get it together and force the focus to put things in order.

All communication goes through your attorney. Block her number and communicate through email.

Freeze all Credit Cards and take her off any bank accounts or better yet. go open new ones and transfer any assets into them.

Take cash out and have it handy in a locked safety deposit box and other places for quick access if needed.

Time to protect yourself. allow your legal council to be your guide.

Eat, drink and stay healthy and prepare for the coming battle.

You can also ask the admin staff here on SI to change your handle name if you need to be anonymous. If you do, start a new thread and do not refer back to this one.

Keep copies of all your evidence, including the snapchat. She used your email, so it's your account.

Best of luck to you