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I don’t want it to sound like I am going “90 to nothing“ all day long every day. I veg out in front of the TV a lot… That is my main stress reducer.

My husband is in bed many times 24 hours a day. I take care of him but it is 2 to 3 times in an hour… Not continuously.

Some of the stories I read here on S I about the things that people do, their responsibilities, and what they have to go through… I don’t ever want to sound like I’m complaining about what I have to do.

I think that if it all boiled down to the basics… I have two issues that I’m certain will never be resolved.

One is that I have never let go of the fact that surely one day, my husband will become a human being and try to make amends with me. And…

Secondly, I don’t believe I will ever stop trying to provide whatever help, motivation, etc. I might could provide for him so that the last year‘s of his life could be at least enjoyable for him.

After reading all of your amazing responses to me, I have decided to do one of the hardest things that there is for me to ever do… And that is to wait. Just stop. Just wait. See how he’s doing in a week or so. Stay away from him as long as possible so that any heightened resentments or emotional negativity between us can come to subside. And then

Maybe after a week or so of pondering, reading your responses again and again, and lots of prayer… I can figure out the best course of action.

You all are the best! And not only when you help me figure out certain issues, but also when you’re patient with me when I have to go about them differently.

Oh...And there is one thing that I am definitely planning to do.

My dearest IRL friend lives in the Seattle area. We talk about three times a day.

When this Covid mess is over, or at least manageable, I am catching a flight to Seattle and I am staying there for 1 to 2 weeks.

I will be calling my husband‘s sister and letting her know that either she can come take care of him, or he will have to go into a facility temporarily. So that is definitely something to look forward to!

Whatsright -- that is EXACTLY what you need to do!! That will replenish you!!

Another one of your fans here and I think that's an excellent idea! Do it!

Edited due to sounding very unsympathetic and glib.

Sorry to whoever saw it.

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 6:59 PM, October 8th (Thursday)]

This is a big step. Please know that I'll be holding you in the LIGHT as you ponder and pray.

Well, it’s 3:15 am and he is yelling again. When I ask what was wrong now, he said it is his abdomen...just like before.

He said the nerve block didn’t work. 17 more days till the next shot.

Update…

At about 430 the ambulance came and took him to the hospital. I haven’t heard anything yet. Our hospitals are allowing people over 18 to come if properly masked, but I’m wondering if I should go. He was quite angry with me last night, and not only that, but if he were to get sick with Covid, who would take care of him if I also got sick.

Right now I am torn between going to be with him, and staying away.

Stay home and rest. You know he is in good hands. Wait until tomorrow ....

Stay home, take care of your self. To cope I recite in my mind the serenity prayer.

((((WR))))

Why was he taken to the hospital? Because of his abdominal pain?

Get some rest. Hope all is well.

I agree, get some rest. You must be exhausted.

Keep us updated!

Sending you much love, my friend.

Please get some much-needed rest first.

You know what they say: put your own oxygen mask on *first.*

💜💜💜

((((WR))))

Just now seeing this.

Keep us updated on his status. I agree, rest up. You need your energy for when he is home.

Ask that they consult the Dr that did the injection this week though so he can evaluate what is going on now.

I came on to the hospital.

He has a bowel blockage again. Also they found some sepsis. Didn’t find out where???

Bowel? Bladder? Blood?

One guy in the ER said he thought he was septic due to having a fever???

I will be finding that out.

Here, PCP and specialists (urologist, gastroenterologist, and neurologist- who did the nerve block) are totally separate. The “hospitalists” here will send test results to specialists, but the regular docs can have nothing to do with the patient in the hospital in the way of procedures and / or advice.

What genius came up with that?

He looks ok - resting.

I explained to everyone about him finishing the opioid taper on Monday. The pain was excruciating, so they gave him morphine, but I will do my best to be sure they give him the minimal needed to keep him reasonably comfortable.

I told y’all this guy is full of shit!!! 😊 See what I did there? 😊

Meds going down and up to try to “get things moving”. I’ll spare y’all further specifics! 🤪

Thanks for checking in. I think we caught this earlier this time, and hope recovery will be less involved.

❤️❤️❤️

Was the bowel blockage causing his pain last night?

Glad it was caught earlier this time. Hope things go smoothly.

Get some rest while he is there!!!

[This message edited by zebra25 at 9:28 PM, October 9th (Friday)]

That is the hope...that the pain was from the blockage trouble, and not an indication that the nerve block failed. 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽

Also they found some sepsis. Didn’t find out where???

Bowel? Bladder? Blood?

One guy in the ER said he thought he was septic due to having a fever???

Fever is a symptom of sepsis.

Not sure what they meant by 'some' sepsis. Sepsis is an infection that has become systemic, meaning it's in the blood and organs. I hate to say it, but it's VERY serious. I've had it, and when I worked in hospice, I saw people sick with sepsis. Unfortunately, it has a 30% mortality rate, so your husband, if he truly has sepsis or is septic, is very sick. It's by far the sickest I've ever been - I had it seven weeks post-op after a hysterectomy. It started with an internal abscess where my left ovary had been removed. Funny thing was, I had no symptoms of the abscess, and was feeling fine... recovery was going great, I was ahead of the curve. I went from feeling fine one Friday evening, to having a high fever, and extremely high heart rate (150s) in four hours. I was in the hospital for five nights, and went home with a PICC line to infuse my own antibiotics every day for two weeks.

He should be being seen by an infectious diseases doctor. He will direct his treatment. They will need to culture the infection, and hopefully will be able to identify exactly which bug is causing the infection so they can tailor the antibiotics to best treat it. It took me months to recover from it - I was so physically exhausted although the infection had cleared my system.

I have to thank the on-call nurse with Blue Cross/Blue Shield that I called that Friday evening when I suddenly got so sick and didn't know what to do, or which doctor to call (gynecology oncologist who did my surgery, or my internist) at midnight. She triaged me over the phone with a series of questions about my history and symptoms, then said, "Ma'am, you need to get to the ER within two hours!" Man, that got my attention. So I went upstairs, woke up H and told him he had to drive me to the ER. Most people, if they get an infection after surgery, it happens 10-14 days. I was SEVEN weeks! So I was lucky to have a team in the ER who was wise enough to suspect I might be an outlier, and order a CT scan, which revealed the abscess. I was put on antibiotics and had it drained four hours later, then admitted to the hospital. It was that night when they determined I was septic, and the next night that they got the culture back, and changed antibiotics, based on those cultures. I had group G strep.

Sorry to hear he is going through this, but it indicates he may have had an infection going on prior to yesterday, if they are saying today he is septic. I hope they are able to identify his bug so they can get him the right antibiotics.

[This message edited by number4 at 8:27 PM, October 9th (Friday)]

Sending good mojo, WR.