SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

"50 Hateful Texts, Now Can You Fix My Toilet?"

Maybe even a song.

why not invest in a new cheap phone. give the number to who you will. take old phone, plug it in, put on silent, and stick in a drawer until court. does it matter now what she texts? read them later. dont let her constntly invade your mind whenever she wants. thats what she does when she texts and you read it...

Hang in there, Gary. I know the nights can be dark. It looks like you are really following the instructions here, and are doing well. I wish that I had found SI sooner.

Hang in there, Gary. I know the nights can be dark. It looks like you are really following the instructions here, and are doing well. I wish that I had found SI sooner.

Hang in there, Gary. I know the nights can be dark. It looks like you are really following the instructions here, and are doing well. I wish that I had found SI sooner.

Ps- please tell us you told her to call a plumber for her toiler problem.

[This message edited by mharris at 4:24 PM, May 6th (Friday)]

wk55hn, if I or anyone that knows us would say Drew Barrymore would play my wife. She really does look like her maybe now add some lbs. That is not me being cruel by the way just giving the picture.

Yes I know how her messages sounded last night. That is why i didn't respond or go over there. I didn't want to engage.

We have gotten a ton of rain all week non stop so the baseball game for her son is being moved. That takes out a possible awkward thing for me.

This weekend I am going to be looking at apartments for myself just till the divorce is over and I know what i am looking at.

Gary,

I have not posted in your thread but have been watching. You have gotten great advice. I know it doesnt feel like it but you are doing a great job dealing with this shit show.

Many tough days lay ahead but you will pull through. Over time it will sting less.

Strength.

I just wanted to stop in and tell you that your wife is a real piece of...well, we'll say work. She thought she'd do whatever she felt like and you'd just take it. The threats about money and how you'll owe her big are her giving voice to what she's really worried about. She may have been ashamed of you working two jobs but she sure didn't mind the lifestyle it provided. She knows it's about to get ugly for her.

No matter what happens in this divorce, you are going to be better off. You already are a hard worker so if you have to work hard to stay afloat for a little while, it will be worth it to get rid of her projecting ass. I really hope you are not internalizing all the vitriolic texts and voicemails. She's the one with issues and she's the one who's really going to be struggling. Even if you pay her alimony, it won't be enough because she is used to having it all. She's going to have to get off her lazy ass pretty soon. If you think it was embarrassing that her husband had to work two jobs and bust his ass to keep her on that high horse, wait until she suffers the mortifying experience of actually having to get down off the horse (and her own ass) and get a job.

It's painful now. I know it is. But your new life starts the minute you get her out of it. And this is coming from someone who believes in reconciliation. But I can tell you that if my husband was an over-endulged, self-entitled spoiled brat, I'd rather be cleaning toilets than dealing with him. This woman is absolutely not reconciliation material. Hell, she's not marriage material. Hell, she should come with a warning sign.

You think any other man would put up with her sh*t?

She's a mother, yes there would be plenty of dudes who'd take her son on but not her and her sh*tty behavior.

The way she's reacting now should tell you she'll never get it and will continue to blame everyone around her but herself.

She's burning bridges at the moment but she still holds a trump card, her son. She won't remove him totally from your life because down the line she could still use him as a gateway to get back into your life.

Not saying abandon the boy, but be realistic and work on yourself so that later down the line she doesn't suck you back in.

She'll never change.

Given how she behaved at the last baseball game rain is a good thing.

She didn't know the divorce papers were coming - so it is not surprising she ranted and raved. It sounds like she is used to getting her own way and is shocked she isn't.

Gary, did you expose the OM to his wife ?

kimichi, yes I did. I didn't hear back from her for a bit I was wondering what she was doing of like some here suggested he intercepted my warnings.

But she did and wasted no time kicking him out and filing. She didn't think this was the only time but this time she had proof to go off of.

Got a little apartment over the weekend to get out of the hotel. This weekend was kind of depressing seeing this little space that I am living in till this is all over. Plus mothers day hit me as her son and I always made it a big and nice day for her. Just made me realize that things like that no longer and such. I know I shouldn't be feeling bad or getting emotional of things with her now but it was hard not to.

There is no alternative but to live through it.

You won't always have these feelings. It does get better - and there are some things to remember.

You showed that you are a great father. This is not a minor deal. When the time comes and you have children of your own you will do so knowing how to be a great Dad.

I really respect your concern for the other innocent party in this mess.

Gary, I am very happy to hear that you got an apartment. Even though it is small, it is better than coming home to a hotel room at the end of a long day. In just a few weeks, it will feel comfortable and homey.

I am sorry that you felt bad about Mothers Day. That is such a normal reaction. It is something that reminds you of happy times in the past. There will be many events in the future that will remind you of good times that you shared as a family. But I want to reassure you that those events will hurt less and less as time goes on. It is hard to imagine that, but it is true. For now, just remember that you have soared past another hurdle and did a good job of it.

craverz, thanks that is my line of thinking too. Her parents till Sat tried to get me to come over for Sunday but I held my ground. She was still posting stuff on facebook over the weekend how she has been betrayed and how her life sucks. I got some texts over the weekend asking for me to see her and how she used to feel so special but now she doesn't.

I know or was told her family was getting her in contact with lawyers this week possibly today. I have not heard anything from her which is not a bad thing on my mental state but it does make me think she did. My lawyer told me any attorney worth a damn would tell her stop talking.

Like I was telling someone on here, I know I am making the right move for me, but even being mad at her I do miss her. I thought about her especially yesterday and how she was doing. Plus that going forward that will be the new norm me solo for that stuff. That is ok I will manage but you do miss some of it.

Save all texts; save the FB posts

It hurts - I suspect their family put a lot of hope on Mother's Day. You STBXW is going to have to file a response soon - so I am sure they are going about finding her a lawyer.

I suspect the sadness on her part is very real as well. I doubt she expected you to actually file. I also suspect she believes she just needs one conversation to win you back - and so she will probably go from one extreme (You are a bastard) to another (please, please).

I got some texts over the weekend asking for me to see her and how she used to feel so special but now she doesn't.

Gary

She was special but now she isn't due to her actions.

[This message edited by Graywolf at 3:17 PM, May 9th (Monday)]

Yup agreed and thanks I do save everything I can. I pass it along to the lawyers office when I get stuff like that.

Yeah I too think her sadness is real at times. Hence why I feel bad and miss her too. But she changes that tune to bashing me and asking why I can give her another chance. That know it was me that is choosing to leave and mess up our family. Like I don't think about these things on my own too.

But where I made the mistake before by looking at her thru rose colored glasses I cant do that or I will not help myself. I need to look at things that are really how they are. And I am just tired. Tired of the now knowing what she did or didn't do, can we get it back. Will she finally do all that I asked. I just got worn out.

Now I just want to get this divorce stuff going and deal with that so I can get on with my life or whatever.

Hey Gary. I think it's completely normal to grieve the loss of your marriage and family and also the future you envisioned. It's REALLY hard when your life doesn't work out the way you planned, despite your best effort.

But, please, (and we will keep saying this until we are collectively blue in the face) please change the way you are buying in to her "you chose to leave and mess up this family" line of bull. NO. SHE left the marriage. SHE broke the vows. HER choices broke up the family. Not you. You are reacting in a very reasonable manner to HER choices. She is trying to manipulate you into feeling guilty. I'm sure she knows exactly which strings to pull (or have worked in the past), so she is trying every one possible in order for her to get what SHE wants.

(My caps are for emphasis, not yelling )

Keep on your path, Gary. You are doing really well. It's perfectly fine for you to come here and vent about your emotional rollercoaster. Your actions have been consistent on a path to get you out of infidelity. Of course, your heart still hurts. And it will. All special occasions and dates will hurt... especially the first time through. But you are being very wise and following your brain despite your heartache. Give yourself a pat on the back for that.

I hope that getting less venomous and manipulative messages from her will finally bring you a little peace. You deserve it.

Try to get out and do something enjoyable for yourself. It helps! Sending strength.

Edited for typos

[This message edited by StillStanding1 at 4:25 PM, May 9th (Monday)]