SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Trying1: I could have written that. Reading it hit me hard.

Xox

You know what? Fuck you. Seriously. Fuck you. If you want to go to court, we'll go back to court and you can fucking pay my attorney while you're at it since you're violating the decree.

And you know what else? Fuck you. You didn't want anyone to know about your affair? FUCK YOU. You flaunted it in my face before the kids knew, before anyone knew we were getting divorced - you'd come home to OUR home smelling of her with fresh sex scratches down your back and not even be ashamed of it...and LIE to me about it like I was an idiot. Gaslighting asshole.

You were so cruel...you didn't care if *I* knew about your affair, you knew how much it was hurting me and you just didn't give a shit.

Your a dick. seriously. G5 is more of a man than you'll ever be. I'm so very thankful to have him in my life.

Get your head out of your ass, lose OW and start acting like the man your kids grew up with. They miss him.

Oh WH, how I want to be able to call or text you and tell you I see what you are up to. All these other women you have been texting and calling 3 mos after DD.

Gosh, you really JUST CAN'T HANDLE BEING ALONE, can you? How about you MAN UP and look inside youself and see you are:

DAMAGED

HAVE A DEEP ROOTED PERSONALITY DISORDER

NEED MORE THAN 1 PSYCH APPOINTMENT TO GET HELP

These OW seem like such trash. Is that better or worse, than affairing up? I have no idea. I'm sure soon enough you will snag someone you can actually go out in public with and not some tindr or backpage desperato like yourself that has a litter of kids she's looking to get a sugar daddy for.

HELLO? We have kids. Do you ever think of them, when I am caring for them 70% of the time. Like -- what would my family think of me, knowing I'm sitting here arranging (probably paying for) the attention of trashy women?

WHO ARE YOU???

Half my life I spent on you. Devoted to you. Supported your effed-up self. My only saving grace is that I have our kids. Otherwise I wish I had never met you.

POS.

[This message edited by BSisRight at 9:04 AM, December 7th (Thursday)]

(I’m having a hard time staying no contact. Whenever I finally see through his manipulations, I want to lash out at him so badly. I know you are all feeling the same. It’s nice to be around people who understand.)

I see you clearly now. You sobbed and cried, telling me that you moved on to another (victim) because you thought I was ‘done’ with you. You refused to move out for years stating that you were scared of how manipulative I would be. But you ran as soon as you got new supply, didn’t you? You couldn’t give me space to heal, but as soon as it benefitted you, you were off.

You saw how upset I was when I learned you were on tinder, so don’t fucking tell me you had no idea i’d be upset. Who ends a marriage this way?

Yes, it takes me time to understand because I don’t think like you. You are so messed up, it’s unreal.

I know what you are now, and I will protect myself from you.

[This message edited by sadone29 at 2:03 PM, December 7th (Thursday)]

You're a lying liar who lies. Still.

You told me you told your Aunt that you had "an affair." This upset me because it was a tiny little fraction of the truth. Come to find out, accidentally, a year later, that you never told her ANYTHING. She had no idea, except for her own intuition.

You are now "dating" multiple women. All who "want to fuck you" (and already are), and you now lie to them. Haven't told anyone what a lying cheater you are. Well of course not. Then they might not want to fuck you.

You disgust me. You are gross. Polluted. Pig vomit. No honor. No integrity. The sickest of sick fucks. I can't wait to divorce you.

Bastard. Divorce is certainly “easy” for you because you don’t have to do any hard work to make it happen! And you go back to your merry life with a roof over your head and no issues with consequences at all! You fucked up my life and our son’s. And you get to be the fun parent while I walk around picking up the pieces of the destruction you left behind. Fuck you. There’s nothing I’d like to see more than seeing you miserable and regretful but your heart of stone and puny brain is incapable of anything other than thinking of yourself. Asshole.

Why is it that I think you will someday 'get' what you did to me. Yes, to me. Not just the A's but the secret drinking, the unemployment, treating me like it was all my fault.

But no, you have continued on your merry way now with a betrayal of DD. Yep, it is all about you. Now that you have the new GF, you just think that everyone is all on board with it.

I get it....it is all about you, all of the time.

And you still have the nerve to blame me for the fact you have no family. You had a family and you shit on it. It is gone and you are going to have to find a new one. Good luck.

(I am going to be posting here a lot. I need to get him gone, gone gone and not give him any more headspace. I hope to type and forget)

So glad. No contact in over a week. Let's see if we can make it 2. Never felt better. If I knew it would feel this good, I would have filed for D sooner!! NC is the way to go!!! I am not even wondering . I am moving on and it feels so good!!

Our son sent me screenshots of your dialog with him today. Your faux love for him and mindfuckery is astonishing. What is wrong with you? He sees through your manipulation like glass. You’re not going to get your pity kibble from him. I hope like hell you actually do have an appointment tomorrow and you go. I hope your therapist is not a quack and calls you on your shit. Someone needs to break into your tortured mind and unfuck you.

Admitting you made a huge mistake is laughable. You made a deliberate decision you self righteous c***. I’m so glad I was an influence in our sons life. He’s a good man. He sees you for the whore you really are and dismisses you. News flash. He doesn’t need you anymore. I don’t blame him.

Is there a name for this fantasy world you live in?

Overcoming addiction is hard. It hurts. But I've managed to do it before.

And that's what codependency is. Addiction to a person. I KNOW that the lies are never going to stop. The cheating is never going to stop. The manipulation is never going to stop. You will never develop the ability to feel empathy or offer emotional support.

But right now I'm having withdrawals. And it hurts. And I want to reach out to you.

This time, I'm going to stay strong. I'm going to kick you for good.

Why all of a sudden are you acting frosty and distant towards ME? You won't even reply to emails about scheduling for the kids.

I had a weak moment and called you an asshole and you didn't even react.

Are you trying to 180 ME? Cuz I am all fine and dandy with that, except that NEWS FLASH - we still have to communicate about our children, dumbass.

Or are you acting awkward because you have new lurrrrve and want to tell me? Because again -- NEWS FLASH - I already found your sad dating ad and am quite aware you are trolling for a new honey to fill my void just 3 months after DDay.

People using vocabulary like being a shell of who you were or soul rape. Please be aware this is common vocabulary among victims of narcissistic or psychopathic abuse. Consider the possibility your partner is disordered. H/she may not be, but I spent months thinking I was dealing with infidelity when it was far, far worse than that. I check in to this forum once in a while to post reminders of this as I want to raise awareness and prevent others from going through the same hell, or help them name it. There is a wealth of information on the web on NPD and it's worth taking a look at if you end up on this forum, just in case, as many of the patterns of infidelity are a part, just a part of, narcissistic abuse and narcissists are very, very good at masking their behaviour and leading you to misidentify it. Good place to start is the difference between infidelity and triangulation, which occurs in narcissistic abuse.

2 weeks of nc. Feels great! Lets make it 3!!!

First off, I don't hate anyone. But I hate you. And I hate you for making me hate you, you serial cheating, sex addicted, alcoholic narcissist. You are truly evil. It baffles me how people believe you and think I'm crazy. But that's what I get for being normal instead of a psycho. The AID is almost done. And then I'm going to slam you with an at-fault divorce you don't think is coming. You smug bastard. You think you control me. And I'm glad you're still so cocky. That will serve me well when I take you down. I know I'll shed blood, because no one beats a narc. But I'm willing to take my lumps to expose you. It won't be now because you're going to give me your money first. Then I'm going to take your precious identity in the community and expose you for the monster you are.

*side note: this is my first post here and this is liberating!

Thank you for finally dropping the act that you want me involved in all the decision making. Already introducing the kids to her and her kids.

I hate you so much. It’s always been about you. It will always be about you. Fucking narc.

Just when I reach acceptance, I lose it, and hope for a different past. Like running on a hamster wheel.

Why are you so disordered. You put up this front of newfound spirituality...but I know the sick Mr Bleep is still there, ready to lash out. Ready to drop the mask.

The loss of hope makes me sad. I see you so clearly. You were shitty company. But you were company. I'm sad. I'm lonely in this quiet house. But the thought of you back here is awful. It will never happen. I choose loneliness and fear of the unknown over the sure-thing shit-show that is you.

Stop it. Stop treating me like I'm the one who wants this. Stop treating me like the enemy. Stop treating me like I'm trying to control everything. This is all you. You did this. You wanted this. I don't want this. I wanted a husband. A family. A friend I could grow old with. You took it all away. And now you want to treat me like this? Plus, you're leaving the state. Leaving me to raise our daughter. Alone. You're going to become the Disney dad. And I'll be here every day. Raising her. Alone.

You are hoovering hard. And it might have worked. I miss you so badly. But I go pain shopping in the morning, and there's always more. Always more of your horrible, horrible lies. I may feel broken and worthless right now, but at least I have a soul.

Why did you text me? Three times in three days. what are you thinking? Yes I miss you. Yes I want to hear your voice. Yes I miss speaking to you. Yes I would love to feel you care and love and want me back and admit that you made a horrendous mistake, but it's never going to happen. She's your soul mate remember? I was shit.

How can you expect me to be friends with you after all you have done? Seriously? How can you expect that? What benefit would that have to me? Who wants to be friends with someone so selfish who lies all the time?

You have your new life with your OW and your new baby. Go live that life and leave me alone. Please don't contact me. I'm not finished being angry at you yet.

Why the fuck do you even care and want to stay in contact with me anyway?

I was a horrible wife remember? I was ugly and fat. You were embarrassed by me. I didn't appreciate you. I was lazy and pathetic.

So why the hell are you trying to be all nice to me now?

Ugh.... just leave me the fuck alone.