SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

It has been a long while since I have posted. I have been so busy living my life and enjoying my summer, I haven't had too much time to think about this situation. We went to Washington D.C. for a week. Then returned home for a week, then flew to Munich. We were in Europe for two wonderful weeks. We stayed in Salzburg, Austria;, then traveled to Florence Italy, then to Rome. It was 100% stressfree, not thinking about whore, bitch, slut freetime, having quality family time with my H and Child time. Take that you miserable, conniving, stuck with a baby, wish you were me bitch!

icando - you give it to her sister!

ladies..just to share with you the newest "gaslighting" I am now being subjected to...I have the OW's husband writing to me trying to "insinuate" that there was a "marriage between my husband and his wife".

Trying to make me spend more $ on lawyers to follow up on this psycho bitch's rumor mill. Of course I realize I am being baited and emotionally abused by these sick people...thanks to you guys ...so of course I replyed and asked when and where ?...I know They won't answer with specifics...they just like to throw accusations around when I was trying to just let things rest...I guess they miss my drama and want to stir the pot.....what is it with these people.

lunny,

Can you just ignore them? That is, don't give them the satisfaction of any kind of reply?

I agree with betrayed. Can't you ignore? Or if you do write back, just tell him "Yeah? Wow! Sucks for them huh? That's something you should take up with them".

How can there be a marriage when they are already married to others? That sounds so stupid.

Legally to me... it makes more sense to entrap them with their

own words on the record,... to prove the lengths they went to to lie and inflict emotional distress on my marriage and their avoidance in resolving legal issues !!!! If I avoided their accusations it could be said that I acquiesed to what they said...which would equate with agreeing with what was challenged...

i predict one day all of this will be exposed in court...so I am making my case.

Let's just say there was a marriage between the two, so what. It would have been illegal, therefore, null and void.

Many times I have thought about calling the whore, bitch, slut, or sending her some kind of tell off mail. Or what kind of put down things I will say to her, if she ever calls again. (I say if she ever, because I don't call her. She has called for my husband, and I use to give him the phone in the early days to put it in his face, like you got your whore calling here. He would just hang up on her. But later on I started slamming the phone down in her face, not a brief click, but a full fledged slamming of the phone. She endured 3 of those slams, and hasn't called since. Even a self-imposing, nasty (for srewing a man who she knew was itimate with his wife), play the victim, loud-mouth tramp, will get tired of having her ex-adultering sex partner's wife slam the phone in her face.

Every once in a while she calls my husband at work, even though she is under court order not to, trying to put guilt on my H. He hangs up on her. She recently called to tell him that she couldn't get a job because of the harassment order he put against her. She even went so far as violated an order the judge gave her about not contacting him at work, so that the judge would sign the order against her. She made it happen herself, but wants my H to take responsibility because he sought an order to keep her off his job. Women who go after married men and have a baby are definately the dumbest broads on the face of the earth. Think about it. You plan and have a baby by a married man. You got to be as stupid as stupid gets to do this. So you must make all kind of dumb decisions on other things that have nothing to do with your fucking a MM. You are just plain fucking dumb.

Anyway, the thing that this bitch hates the most is the thought that we have gone on with our lives. That we live well despite her attempts. And that we don't think about her and that child. The child is her responsiblity. I'm not going to sacrifice another shred of anything, therefore my H is maintaining no contact. We have our child, who is our focus. I am not about to let the bitch interfere in any further way, shape or form. She is desparate to strike us, but it won't work.

[This message edited by icando at 2:04 PM, August 28th (Monday)]

icando-AMEN-great words of wisdom you speak! Puts it all into perspective, doesn't it?

My IC constantly tells me that even though we are hurt by OW's actions, she is powerless over us unless we let the situation bother us.

ican and twokids,

I want to be like that - hardened to her and her actions (past b/c she hasn't done anything recently) but how does a normal, caring person build such a wall? I want to hurt her in the worst way like she did to me. I want her to suffer. I think I need to learn patience b/c I finally came up w/ something. Years down the road when her child is a teen or young adult, I'm going to send him all the nasty emails and text messages she's sent my H and expose her for the piece of trash she is. (Now I probably won't b/c I'm not that brave and am really a chicken but it felt good typing it out here!)

BW

BW,

You won't do that (send the emails) because you are a decent person and wouldn't lower yourself to the OW's level.

I did get a chuckle out of it though......

When we sent the NC/harassment letter via our attorney he (the attorney) went a lot softer on the OC. It pissed me off a little at first (my reactive brain at work), but then I got my reflective brain going and reminded myself that the OC is not responsible for the OW's actions.

In truth, I think these kids will grow up and put two and two together all on their own: their mother got pregnant by a married man = very poor example for OC. Even if some of these OCs harbor resentment at an absentee dad, they must also be able to recognize/admit that their mother shares some responsibility for their situation, be it happy, sad, positive or negative.

Stepping down from the pulpit now....

BT

Quick thanks to everyone for the well wishes and prayers re the DNA test. It came back yesterday. It's positive and the percentage is high enough that we don't have any legal "wiggle room" to fight it. So, on we go. We will try to negotiate w/ her. I just want to pay her and never think about her or the OC again. H is committed fully to making me happy. Long talk last night and although he feels bad the OC will grow up w/o a dad, he recognizes and agrees w/ me that it's the OW's problem. She brought OC into this world and she can take care of OC 24/7. We will fulfill legal obligations but you won't see us at the school play. Our life together and our future children come first. OW/OC are just a joint nightmare.

Hugs to all...

BW,

Sorry for the DNA results but now it is time to get on with your lives.

The OC will will learn how to make the best out of the cards he or she has been dealt.

As I said in my initial email to the OW (the polite one, not the double broadside I sent later after the shockwaves had subsided), sometimes you just have to make the best out of what life deals you. I didn't add the obvious, "you made your bed bitch, now lie in it".

So let her.....

The stupid OW in my case was delusional enough to suggest H attend OC's graduation. Yeah right, H has NC for 18 years and all of a sudden she's holding a graduation ticket for him?

These woman are *incredibly* stupid!

[This message edited by BeeTrayed at 9:51 PM, August 30th (Wednesday)]

(((((BW))))))

i was really hoping yours would be like our last goodnews but i guess we can't win them all.we still are nowhere close to dna being ow still hasn't filed.for the life of me i don't get what her deal is.her threat gave her renewed contact with my wh in feb when i found out the whole ugly truth.he had nc with her since he had found out she was pg.they both left korea, he came here amd she went to az.anyway i still don't get her deal.she threatened cs in feb and its now damn near sept.my h is deployed and i'm worried she might try to file then.our lawyer said some soldiers act protects him from litigation but if she files now the cs claim will start now if it turns out to be his.does anyone know how long the process for cs takes? i mean if she filed we would have gotten a response by now. i checked the online court records for her state county and i got nothing from there.this is just so frustrating!!!!!i'm tryign to move on but not knowing is killing me. he thinks there is apossiblity the child might not be his but she emailed him pics along with her cs threat and i think the child looks like him.

grll247...

Similar boat of feelings...Why doesn't the other woman file for CS and do the DNA test?

Possible answers...

#1 she knows she slept with others and the OC might not be your H's....she can't play the guilt card on him if the test is done. ....

#2..She loses sole control over the OC's life if CS, visitation and custody are determined by a court. Now, she is forced to deal civily with you, the B-spouse, in her child's life !...

#3..any possible future relationship with your H is tainted and harmed if she takes legal action against him...this could make him "angry" at her, not "LOVE" her anymore...she is more afraid of losing her connection with her fantasy life and him than being rational and support her childs' needs...It's only about her, not the child. She "STILL HOPES" ,one day, your H's guilt and "true" love for her and her child will make him leave you...she would never do anything to harm their relationship, so he will choose to come back to her!

...aka...stalker, fatally attracted, psycho case.

This is what I think I am up against!

What Other possible reasons are there why she won't prove her allegations?

BetrayedWife-

I am sorry about the results. It sounds like you and your husband want the same thing and that is great. Stick together and you will go far.

BW

(((BW)))

As I said I would lurk to keep track of very ones progress in their situations.

I am so sorry to hear that the OC is in fact your H. But at least now you know for sure and you can deal with it and move forward. For me the not knowing was the worst is what held me back. Stay strong and united and you will still beat the OW at her game.

[This message edited by scooter3377 at 7:46 AM, August 31st (Thursday)]

Betrayed Wife - i'm sorry the results weren't what you've hoped for. Unfortunately most of us will be in the same boat. We're still waiting for a date for paternity testing. I don't know why this is taking so long. Our lawyer filed a motion for testing two and a half weeks ago. Once the testing was done, how lonng did it take to get the results?

{{{BW}}}

I'm so sorry. I was so hoping for different results!

hey lunny,i'm thinking it's more number 3.he thinks it's 1 but i think her biggest problem is the fact that i'm still around.i think she thought for sure i would have hightailed it out of here by now.i don't know the details of their relationship, but i think i can believe him when he says it was about the sex.all the gory stuff aside, i don't believe this sums him up and i think she got him at avery weak moment.all that said time will tell!!.i do believe i'm at the point where i can deal with whatever but that lil revenge part still hopes she gets the 'NOT THE FATHER' in her face.

Well I got a bit of good news today! This is my first child and I'm 40 so we did a nuchal scan. The u/s itself was great but the bloodwork came back reflecting a 1/22 chance of having a downs baby. This really saddened us.

Well, the amnio results are in ane HE is a healthy baby with no downs.

If I can't be happy about some things in my life, at least I can rejoice over this!