SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Oh honey you are doing great. Seriously my head would have exploded when that email came. Then Id have made up a name and info to give a Yelp review notimg how this dog sitter is so awesome she will sit on your husband too. It would have gone downhill from there.

Tje C&D letter should get her ignorant ass' attention.

Its ok to feel down sad and angry. You are grieving. Feel the feelings. Its the only wYto heal. Cant go around over under or skip it. Feel it. Heal and love yourself. Do one kind thing for yourself every day.

tushnurse:

dog sitter is so awesome she will sit on your husband too

For the love of gawd you have me laughing so hard through all this crap!!!! That's some good shit right there. Thank you for that.

this dog sitter is so awesome she will sit on your husband too

Best thing I've read all day!!!

TOC,

I think you are on the right path for you. You have saved yourself months in this process by being so decisive.

Also I find candy's last attempt pathetic really. It (almost!) makes me feel sorry for her. She is trying SO hard to convince you that what they had was real, was special, because it is too painful to face the reality that she was a diversion and nothing more.

We naturally tend to vilify OP here; I sure have done it in my case. But after a while I realized that the OW was a broken person, not a monster, who was going through an ugly divorce and a career transition and saw my H as a savior. He was a ticking time bomb of issues and risk factors (truly, on the list of risk factors he had all but one), and when she turned her needy, adoring eyes on him he barely even tried to resist. But she could have been anyone. Fortunately she only ever used the excuse to me that she was lonely, not that they were star crossed lovers. However, somewhere in her head she apparently harbored the fantasy that he would leave his family for her, in spite of the fact that he never took her on a date or even texted her on holidays. He explicitly told her he would never leave (and has passed a polygraph on that). But her reality was different; it had to be for her to continue to waste so much time on a man who was unavailable. I don't know that I will ever forgive her (I knew her, she knew my children) for hoping for the breakup of my family, but I believe that she is just a pathetic figure and not evil.

So yeah, I hope that you can put this meaningless person out of your mind and life and move on to your fabulous new life ASAP. Perhaps your new life should include providing seminars on how to get out of infidelity!

Glad I could make you smile.

If you want Snark, I'm your girl.

TOC, OW truly believes that it's you keeping wh from her. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when/if she finds out how long you've been separated from him.

I also have a feeling that if wh even had one lens left in his rose tinted glasses, dear step son will be shattering that as I write....

[This message edited by sinsof thefather at 7:27 AM, November 4th (Friday)]

TOC -- you show remarkable restraint in not opening the birthday card. I would probably have opened it just to pain shop a little. I hope that Crazy Candy doesn't find out that your WH is in the hospital. She would immediately transfer her crazy focus to trying to see him in the hospital or rehab facility. Security in those two locations would certainly be earning their pay. Just remember that if you had not caught him, he would probably still be in the A -- texting her while you were on a romantic vacation in Europe and resuming the A when you got back. I agree with another poster that you need to lead seminars in what to do when you just found out.

give a Yelp review notimg how this dog sitter is so awesome she will sit on your husband too.

***spew***

You need to put up a warning - no drinking within a 100 feet of your posts

You need to put up a warning - no drinking within a 100 feet of your posts

😂😂😂😂 I agree!

I have to do what I have to do to come out stronger, more resilient and with my sense of self-worth intact... I feel I'd be excusing his behavior and allowing him a free pass for his complete and total disrespect for me.

TOC, I agree with you. This ^^ exactly is a big part of why I chose to D. Yes, my WH said all the right things. He was so sorry, OW meant nothing, etc. (I do believe this, because even though I left him, he did not stay with OW).

**I'm not saying everyone who chooses to R gives the WS a free pass. I hope no one reads it that way, I don't want to offend those who R. I know it's hard work either way.

But I do know, with my WH, no matter what was said, it would still come down to one basic fact: He cheated on me, betrayed me in the worst possible way. And when it came down to it, I accepted it and took him back. There's no way around this truth. I know that he would see it this way. And I knew that over time I would lose my self-respect if I agreed to this.

I know that for some people, other factors (young kids, finances) make D just too difficult. People feel like they need to accept the situation, at least for the time being. But for people like you and me, professionals who can support ourselves and don't have young kids still at home, it's really hard for me to understand why someone would think they have to accept this. I mean, what's in it for you? What has he done for you lately.. (ok that sounds like a Janet Jackson song, but you get the idea). One of my favorite quotes - "What do you want to do with your one great life?"

Stay Strong TOC.

TOC, I've been away for about a week and just spent way too much (but well spent) time catching up on your story. The Candy-grams reveal a lot about her, him, and the nature of their affair. I didn't think they could look any lower and sleepy but, by gum, Miss Skittles did it!

I had a lot to catch up with so maybe I missed this, but why worry about keeping Con-fectionary away from your husband? She seems like a millstone he deserves to have around his neck.

Wouldn't you love to run into him some morning in his sweatpants and beard-stubble walking the dogs for her?

If you see her in person (and I think she will make sure you do):

"You can have him, honey. I told him to go to you weeks ago. There's some dog shit over there that needs picking up, so you'd better go."

I took the advice of posting on Yelp and did one step more in my situation. I googled all the sites, there's 5 main ones, that allow you to "Rate your Doctor". Even though the doctor who had the affair with my Wbf wasn't my physician, since she was doing this on hospital time and with the paramedic, I figured it warranted a review. I'm fine with her getting angry or even attempting legal action as I have HER emails as proof that what I've said is not slander. TOC has taken the higher road, but I'm so absolutely disgusted and angry I want the maximum exposure for their (the doctor and the paramedic) behavior. There's no way to know if their affair caused any negative outcomes for a patient but the possibility is certainly there.

Thanks TOC, I wish I could have handled myself the way you have.

the Cease and Desist letter will not work. It will contain too many words that dogwalker can't pronounce and won't understand. Including the title itself.

Agreed 1985!! A Caesar and Dentist warning will totally confuse the twit.

^^^ candy will be all "uh duh ..... Isn't that like a salad or something?" She'll probably reply and request her dressing on the side or ask for ranch instead. Or claim she didn't order a salad. Or think the law offices of so and so and so is some great new restaurant she has to try cause it's FANCY. Lolol

[This message edited by childofcheater at 2:34 PM, November 4th (Friday)]

the Cease and Desist letter will not work. It will contain too many words that dogwalker can't pronounce and won't understand. Including the title itself.

Agreed 1985!! A Caesar and Dentist warning will totally confuse the twit.

Or...or...better yet, you can reverse the beginning letters & make it a D&C and she'll show up at her gynecologist

D+C, probably means Dogg and Kat in her world. Do you think her parents just knew when they named her candy?

Eta: corrected spelling. Crap I'm starting to think like candy!

[This message edited by atalosss at 3:05 PM, November 4th (Friday)]

[This message edited by HopeFloats2272 at 3:08 PM, November 4th (Friday)]

OW getting increasingly desperate.

Not reading the card was a GREAT move. Forwarding to your attorney was a good move. Forwarding to your stbx and step-son, not so good (not sure why you would want to encourage contact between them). But, a small misstep in the grand scheme of things. Overall you're doing well.

Hugs!