SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I've been "away" for a while and have just seen this.

Unlike some of the others, I have no similar experiences to reference.

I'm just so horrified for your son and for you.

I don't know what to say.

In taking care of him please don't forget to take care of yourself.

I can't imagine what you are going through.

Many prayers coming your way!

Sending you and DS hugs. We had very good help at the ER with the social workers. My DD weight as well. We are three weeks out. She needs distraction to go to sleep. She is also having nightmares.

This is so destructive to our children.

Thanks again all.

Prickle - yes, it is so hard for our children and hard to know what WE can do as parents other than to be there for them and help them to get the help they need.

DS's sleeping is not good, at least once he has gotten up in the middle of the night to go out for a walk.

It's going to be a long road.

DS’s doctor can prescribe something for sleep...trauma is trauma, there are meds (anti-anxiety, sleep aids) that can help short term.

Dmw,

How absolutely horrific. I’m so sorry.

I do hope he gets help to deal with this, as rape brings up so many conflicting emotions.

Dear cyber hugs to both you and your son((()))

[This message edited by Greeneyesbluezy at 5:44 PM, December 5th (Tuesday)]

I hope I’m not breaking any SI rules by posting this link:

https://www.rainn.org/articles/sexual-assault-men-and-boys

There is a hotline you can call. They claim to have guidance for male-on-male rape victims.

Big hugs to you and DS. See if he will keep a journal or attend counseling for quite a while. Sometimes these things need ongoing long term support. I'm so sorry.

DMW...

How are you and your son?

I haven't been able to be on the site much lately, but I have been thinking of you often.

This is the type of thing that you just can't believe, and so wish you could turn the clock back so that it didn't happen.

I'm so sorry for the feelings I can only imaging you both are going through.

Much love and prayers sent your way.

💞

Thanks for checking in WR, and thanks everyone for your ideas and posts and PMs. It all really helps with my sanity right now.

DS has an appt to see the IC he likes, it's not till next week but he said he preferred to see her rather than someone else sooner.

Thanks Bigger for the online site and hotline info, he has looked at it off and on and I think it is helpful.

Thanks again for all the love. This is really going to be a long haul.

Thanks for the update, DMW.

The best to your son.

I'm so glad you can give him support.

How are you doing with this?

Sorry for not replying sooner—especially because you are a dear women and one of my favorites. I was just so horrified by the subject I couldn’t bear to open it until now. I am sorry that this happened to him (and, indirectly, everyone who loves him). I hope he realizes that it wasn’t his fault—men just aren’t on the lookout for drugged drinks and once ingested there isn’t anything anyone could have done in his position. Hopefully he will reach a point where he can use the gym to exorcise his emotions.

Aw thanks PlanC. I too hope that DS will start working out again soon. I'm just glad that he's eating well, it was touch and go for a while.

sisoon - I have my pdoc who is helping me, and I am doing my best to take care of myself when DS is sleeping.

I have asked him if he is having bad thoughts, he says yes but mostly doesn't want to elaborate.

A (horrible) 'milestone' is coming up - he needs to get his first round of STD/STI testing. I asked if he wanted me to come with him and he said yes, so we will go together on Thursday afternoon. Ugh.

SICK FUCKER DOING THAT TO MY BABY!!!!!

(((DMW & son)))

I'm so sorry for what you are going through and hope that your son finds solace and comfort in having you there with him on Thursday.

[This message edited by earthangel at 2:33 PM, December 12th (Tuesday)]

Remember we're here for you and, by proxy, for your son. We're here for both of you.

And the only way we can send mojo to your son is through you, so stick around.

I'm happy for your son that he feels good enough to allow you to help.

If it means anything, and I hope it does, I got myself deathly ill at 21. Although I was in love with W2b, I wanted my mommy, and I'm really glad she was there for me.

Parenting isn't for sissies!

I can't believe what a rock you are being for him. I'm afraid I couldn't stay strong like you.

And he is doing as well as he is because of his "raising" as we say in the south.

Hang in there. We are all keeping you both in out hearts during all of this horror.

Wish I was there to give you a hug.

You go mum! ((((DMW and DS))))

First round of STD/STI testing today (it got postponed from Thursday). Should get the results back while we are gone visiting relatives over the holidays.

DS doesn't seem to be triggering much right now, but I am keeping a close eye on him. He also went back to school today for the first time since the attack. Only a few more days till the holidays though.

How worrying to go through this with him.

Thinking of you other and praying his results give him the all-clear.

I can't begin to comprehend how you are managing to support your son and deal with your own emotions, too. You're amazing !

DMW...

I can't get you and your son out of my mind.

I will be thinking of you during the holidays. Don't you just hate how much worse we can be affected by something when it is the holidays?

I pray y'all can have a joyful holiday as much as possible. I just keep thinking how thankful I am that this f@cking pervert didn't try to take his life.

The thing is, he has you, and he knows it. No way to measure what that means to him.

Peace and healing sent with love for you both. 💕

Thanks WR, yes this horrible incident is really at odds with the festivities, everything feels fake and is surreal at times.

Today was DS's first IC appointment, he is pleased with how it went. The psychiatrist supervising his (psychologist) IC prescribed a sleep aid for him. I hope this helps with his sleep, which has really been suffering.

His STD results should come back while we are visiting relatives in the US, so we won't know anything about that until we get back next week. And then he needs a next round of tests in a few more weeks already.

Sometimes I ask myself why oh why this happened, but of course I know that there's no real or satisfying answer. There are some sick people in the world, and my poor baby had the misfortune to come across one of them.

Thanks again everyone for the support. We are getting through this the best we can.