SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Drink lightly tonight if at all. You'll need to keep your wits about you!!!!!!

I made EVERY single mistake in the book when I caught my WH ... I always confronted him immediately.

TRY as best you can to gather as much information before you confront her. Make sure your phone is at 100% so you can record if needed and take pictures.

I know it’s incredibly hard to not say anything because you likely want to go postal, but she will delete every single shred of evidence if you confront her now.

Do you live near a Walmart? If you have time, go to one and buy a VAR. They sell them in the electronics department near the cordless phones ... ask for a digital recorder. They are like $40. Best Buy might have them too ... put it in her car under her seat this weekend. You’ll have your answers very quickly. DO NOT tell her you did this — it’s not always legal to record someone without consent .... use it to find out who OM is and what is going on.

Shes home. She looked a little shocked to see me dressed for the party. She asked if I was alright and that I looked a little pale. She was kind enough to say that I could stay home if I wasn't feeling up to it. Shes in the shower now (with her phone).

Try putting the number into search on facebook.

Go into the bathroom and take the phone

She's calling the OM now

She suspects that you know and they will go deep into hiding

Go hang with her while she gets ready. Just normal chit chat.

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I can imagine the anxiety you are suffering right now.

But, if you want to get to the bottom of this, you need to keep your composure. If you confront her without evidence she will just minimize, or worse gaslight you

Always trust your gut. Did she always used to shower with her phone ? If this was a recently acquired behavior, then your suspicions are most likely correct

I think I played it off ok. She has the door locked so who knows what she is doing in there. I should be able to see who she contacts through AT&T. It does appear that she has a sexy new dress.

I guarantee you that she texted OM and told him you were going to be there.

She just keeps deleting the string of texts.

She probably has him in her contacts as a woman.

My WH did that ... had COW labeled as a guy from work.

She is letting the OM know that you are coming and he needs to be on his best behavior. If she does what my wife did, she WILL introduce you to him. For some reason they believe I introduce you to him then you will not believe I will cheat with him right? Be mindful of any man that she introduces to you and he pays her an abnormal about of compliments (more than 2). This will will give an idea. They may even flirt a bit or say a double entendre. Listen carefully.

[This message edited by WilliamM at 5:03 PM, December 14th (Friday)]

If you want the phone. Bathroom doors are hollow core and easy to pop open....just give it a good push with your shoulder. It's easy to repair too. Happens all the time in rentals

She's definitely trying to tell the OM that you're going to be there...

In regards to the phone number, I had a similar situation and found a ton of calls over a period of a few months in our phone bill. Googling produced nothing, but I went to a few various sites like truthfinder, spokeo etc. and was able to type in the phone number and get the OW's full name, address etc., then found her on facebook and confirmed her profile photo matched the woman I had seen him at the beach with who he insisted he was "just talking to." You'll have to pay a small fee, but as long as you remember to cancel the account within the first few days then you won't get charged anymore.

[This message edited by Robert22205https at 4:58 PM, December 14th (Friday)]

Well this is all beginning to look very conclusive. I'm sorry you're going through this, Dan.

One thing you might want to do while at the party is occasionally call the mystery number while not looking like you're calling anyone. See if you can pinpoint who the OM is by who's checking and declining calls when you call.

If you take her phone then you will eventually find out who the OM is.

Use her phone to call the number.

agree with firenze.. and if you dial *67 before you dial the number, your number will show up as restricted so they won't be able to save it and compare with your wife later

If you do call from your phone make sure you add *67 in front of it. This will label your call unknown to the person you call.