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megahertz ( member #44306) posted at 9:48 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
Whatever happens, we are all behind you 100%. Good luck. Like others have said, no confrontation until you have irrefutable evidence. Play it cool for now.
3 kids: D19, S17, D15
Divorced: 5/21/19
XW cheater
DaninOH (original poster member #69121) posted at 9:48 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
Well... Looks like she fucked up! 414 text messages to one number in the last 11 days and over 4 hours of call time. These texts and calls were not on her phone when I checked last night. She will be home in about 45 minutes. Not sure what to do now.
Gutpunch ( member #63088) posted at 9:51 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
Find out who it is
and play dumb
Do not confront
Do not go to party without her
Happenedtome2 ( member #68906) posted at 9:51 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
I hope you find and see nothing and it is a misunderstanding. It does not sound that way though and as was mentioned earlier, the medical field is riddled with afdairs. Keep your eyes open and be the nice guy that everyone met at the party. If there is something going on and you come across as a great guy, someone may just be drunk enough to tell you something is up.
BH DDay August 2018 :https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=633451
Robert22205https ( member #65547) posted at 9:53 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
Now you have a number to call at tonight's party.
Zamboni ( member #65496) posted at 9:55 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
Yup. There you go.
I am sorry.
I think you need to try to keep your cool as best you can.
Do you recognize the number? Did you look it up? She may also have a secret email. Do you have a VAR?
Take screen shots or print it if you have time ...
What are you going to do?
Me: BW
Him: WH Serial Cheater / NPD
Multiple affairs
Almost Divorced
Robert22205https ( member #65547) posted at 9:57 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
I'm sorry you're in this mess. It's important to id the OM .... especially if he's married.
The possibility of exposing the OM is a strategy that you need to retain.
Do not confront. Go to the party and be very very nice. Make sure that her COWs know you're a nice guy and father.
DaninOH (original poster member #69121) posted at 9:57 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
I am not sure if I can pull this off. My heart feels like it is going to beat right out of my chest and I can't catch my breath. Going to take a shower and try to get ready before she gets here.
Stevesn ( member #58312) posted at 10:00 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
When she gets home and is getting ready if you can get her phone go into contacts and type in the number. See who comes up.
fBBF. Just before proposing, broke it off after her 2nd confirmed PA in 2 yrs. 9 mo later I met the wonderful woman I have spent the next 30 years with.
Robert22205https ( member #65547) posted at 10:00 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
Get her phone and copy the texts while she's getting ready for the party.
Gutpunch ( member #63088) posted at 10:02 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
Have you tried typing the number in facebook and google yet?
I know the pain you are in is excruciating.
Trust us on not confronting.
megahertz ( member #44306) posted at 10:02 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
If there is something going on, it will go underground faster than you can blink if she thinks you are onto her. Maybe you’ll figure out who the AP is tonight, maybe not, but patience is key here. Sounds like there is possibly a sizable electronic trail, and there may be more than one AP. You have every advantage now, and not so much later. Eyes open and mouth shut, for now, friend.
3 kids: D19, S17, D15
Divorced: 5/21/19
XW cheater
Robert22205https ( member #65547) posted at 10:03 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
Do not confront until you have real proof. Proof that you can leverage to protect yourself and kids.
Skadu ( member #62708) posted at 10:05 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
Go to the party, call the number while you're there and see who's picks up there phone or checks for a call, that will be your dude. She may have deleted her side of the conversation, but there's a chance he hasn't or has a SO that can check it.
Bigheart2018 ( member #63544) posted at 10:06 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
Once you inform her that you are going, she might try to warn him by text or phone. Watch her after you give her the news. She might take her phone into the bathroom.
Stevesn ( member #58312) posted at 10:07 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
Just so you know, there’s a programyou can buy for your laptop called DrFone. You connect the phone to the laptop and it retrieves deleted texts. Don’t let her reset the phone before you can run it.
Also some say on Verizon you can read the texts online. I’ve never done it.
Maybe some other carriers websites can do the same
fBBF. Just before proposing, broke it off after her 2nd confirmed PA in 2 yrs. 9 mo later I met the wonderful woman I have spent the next 30 years with.
Curious9 ( member #48433) posted at 10:08 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
Get her cell and act like you don't know where it is at. Tell her your not feeling well. Stay home and download dr phone. Retrieve her text. If she is cheating you will see it then.
Once you find proof make multiple copies of it and don't say a word to her. Find things to do away from her. Go stay with a family member or a friend. Don't call her and don't return her calls. Give her the weekend to really wonder.
Go see a lawyer Monday morning and learn your rights. Once you have that then take some time to figure out what you want to do.
ShutterHappy ( member #64318) posted at 10:08 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
I you feel you can’t pretend nothing is happening and you decide to confront, don’t reveal where you got the information.
Can you check her email and FB account before she locks everything ?
Post often, we’ve been there and we can help you go through this.
Me: BH
Divorced, remarried.
I plan on living forever. So far so good
Bigheart2018 ( member #63544) posted at 10:10 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
This is the time YOU MUST SHOW STRENGTH!!!
Hotdog ( member #58066) posted at 10:10 PM on Friday, December 14th, 2018
There’s a possibility that the reason why she doesn’t want you to go to the party is because she is not going herself. She may be using this an excuse to meet up with the OM to have an alone time.
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