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deephurt posted 2/6/2020 15:17 PM

Malibu- I think you are a very important part of SI. You have helped many people and

The advice given to the troll could have been helpful to someone who was actually in a similar situation

^^^this is something to consider.

I kinda thought Buzzy was a troll-or at least an ass. I have seen many come and go here that appear to be trolls over the years, they don't last and if they don't eventually get bored, they get discovered, I hope anyway. However, most people on SI can smell the bullshit and call them out. It is a serious waste of time and effort when the person turns out to be a troll but its so true that whatever the advise that is being given can just as easily be helping someone who really needs the help.

When I first came, it was mostly the reading on others threads that helped me-more so any thread that I ever started.

Don't let the trolls keep you from being able to post whatever and whenever you want. At the very least, those of us that are not trolls are listening, empathizing and also learning. Its very unfortunate that people possibly find trolling here funny but the vast majority of us know that this site is for those of us that are here to heal from infidelity and know how painful the journey is.

Big hugs and try not to concentrate too much on the anniversary. Do something special for yourself.

MalibuBayBreeze posted 2/6/2020 15:50 PM

sadsmileyface
I am indeed in my discovery season. Big time.

My son was able to return to school last week. I was surprised thinking it would be another month but his surgeon was very happy with his healing. He has restrictions but at least he's back. Thank you for asking. ❤

OwningItNow posted 2/6/2020 16:39 PM

Discord's thread lacked that real emotion you feel from a BS who is watching their life unravel. I even mentioned it in one of my replies. The posts were so efficient in their information and reaction, and if there is one thing a BS is not it's efficient with their information and reaction. It's actually difficult to stop talking about it!

But I would never, ever want a suffering BS left hanging, so I forged ahead just in case. I'm not angry that I did, but I am glad the fictional situation did not drag out any longer. It sucked up enough of my time and energy.

I do understand the feeling of being betrayed, MBB.

justabrokendream posted 2/6/2020 16:40 PM

I stay away from the threads that take a "red pill" tone, you can usually spot them.

HouseOfPlane posted 2/6/2020 16:55 PM

However, one way of looking at your posts in response is that I believe other people are helped at times by reading these excellent responses even though they are meant for someone else.

I did some immediate digging on LCL, traded messages with a fellow mil person here where we agreed he was FOS. Bunch of warning flags were out. But I also saw a lot of good posts from people that contained great advice for folks everywhere, so I didn’t over-worry about it.

When we post, we are read by thousands.

Keep on being MBB, MBB!

Alpargata posted 2/6/2020 16:55 PM

how he always went on about his hot AP and being in Seville with her

I always thought it was weird he choose Seville to go spend a week in a hotel room, when there are dozens of spa resorts and golf resorts all over that area, much better suited to his RA needs.

He picked the one city down there where you wanna walk around, do stuff around town, and hotels are designed with that in mind.

But it kinda fell in line with him being an average noobie tourist in Spain.

[This message edited by Alpargata at 5:00 PM, February 6th (Thursday)]

doggiediva posted 2/6/2020 17:07 PM

It is disturbing to know that a troll at any given time, may be reading our innermost secrets that we post here! IMO, we take a risk when we disclose our traumas, thoughts, dreams to people face to face, I think it is the same here! Despite this troll revelation, I still feel pretty safe posting here!
I’ve experienced the trauma of being the butt of jokes that an online troll made ( another forum)...With that said, I’ve made dear friends of people I communicated with online..There are 4 I’ve gone on to meet in person..Two of them, I have coffee with every week!
I agree, MBB, I hope you don’t stop posting and giving us your well thought out helpful advice!

whoami62 posted 2/6/2020 17:12 PM

I don't think I recognize these names , but how can we , as members be sure our information and posts aren't being posted somewhere else ?
This makes me nervous , TBO

SnowToArmPits posted 2/6/2020 17:28 PM

MalibuBayBreeze - don't let the troll dipshits get you down.

Most people here try to help, the site fosters a trusting, welcoming environment.

I think the mods do a good job keeping things civil and helpful.

Trolls are going to fool kind people sometimes. I say shrug and move on.

And let the mods take out the garbage every once in while.

Lieswearmedown posted 2/6/2020 17:30 PM

LTCDRLOST made my antenna wiggle pretty early on. 1. I’ve worked as a civilian with the military for decades and none of them, officers or enlisted, speak exclusively in military jargon and acronyms. I began to wonder if he was either one of two things:
1. A total fraud playing a character
2. The most boring, one-dimensioned, arrogant weenie in the world

The hero worship irritated me and I confess that I chastised myself for being uncharitable. I actually thought internally, “I could not put up with this ass for 10 minutes... “ then I felt horrible and wrote a post congratulating him on getting out of infidelity and wishing him luck. I should have listened to my gut.

I didn’t follow Buzzy’s thread or threads.... I saw some of his posts on other people’s threads.... he came off as an irredeemable crap weasel.

sewardak posted 2/6/2020 17:55 PM

I guess I never think troll but I do often think "agenda."
wow on discord. It was a weird story. And whoever it was was caught in a few lies, if I recall. There were many absolutes in her story. That never happens.

wifehad5 posted 2/6/2020 18:04 PM

It's important to remember that this is the internet. What's posted here will be available to the public for years to come. That's beyond our control.

That's one of the reasons this is an anonymous site. Be safe. Don't post details that are so specific that people can find you.

If you get a bad feeling about another poster, reach out to the staff. It's not always a troll. Sometimes it's someone who isn't a native English speaker. Sometimes it's someone who's being intentionally vague so as not to post anything identifying.

Luckily, the number of trolls over the years has been pretty low, and we'll continue to work to keep that number low.

Greeneyesbluezy posted 2/6/2020 19:31 PM

MBB,

You’re a treasure trove on this site: compassion, advice, experience and heartfelt dialogue.

Don’t let imposters ruin the beautiful, giving and advice you give.

Real members are better because of you; and the trolls will eat dirt, lick their wounds and try again. They are sick.

I’ve been spanked a few times for trying to call out trolls. Mods do a magnificent job and they have to wait and watch. I applaud them.

I think in the Lieutenant’s (cough Lolol) case, many of us went back and forth privately that he was full of it, but I think many wounded liked the forcefulness and decisiveness. Many of us never felt that way.

I would just caution members, many times when a person does a play by play, doesn’t really answer questions, gives escalating scenarios and updates to keep us either outraged or amazed, well sometimes it’s gonna be a troll.

Keep it up this wonderful community. Your posts are all so helpful. And, a fart joke here and there actually gave me the will to fight!!!

MalibuBayBreeze posted 2/6/2020 20:50 PM

This IS a community, and I just conveyed that to a member in a message as well. I found SI on a late night sleep deprived search on the internet about how to tell if you're being cheated on. I looked at a few other forums but landed here because of the tone, empathy, advice, intelligence I saw in post after post. There were people who understood what I was experiencing and reassuring me everything I felt was normal. Had I not had that support I would have lost my damn mind.

I try, though I'm still a work in progress myself, to pay it forward which is something I committed to myself to do in return for the help I was receiving.

There are bonds formed here by shared trauma. Trolls violate those bonds and tell lie upon lie for some reason. Attention? Ego kibbles? Selfish amusement? Gotta say as a BS that's all triggery behavior similar of a wayward. I believe that's what's bothering me most.

Just have to be vigilant I guess which is something I've gotten used to the past 4 years.

SaddestDad posted 2/6/2020 23:47 PM

Then moments later I read that LtCdrLost, a supposed BS and Hiram a supposed WS were also one and the same.

StillLivin posted 2/7/2020 00:39 AM

I'm just popping in between chemistry assignments.
MBB, don't get discouraged. A troll's actions really reflect on him or her exclusively. I mean, seriously, how pathetic do you have to be to go on a site for months for ego strokes. Instead of being angry at them you should really feel sorry for how pathetic they are. Second, Troll or not, sometimes other BS can actually benefit from reading about decisive action. I'm all for reconciliation IF the WS immediately get their head out of their ass and is 100% remorseful AND they were a good partner before their moral compass broke. But too many situations on here are the complete opposite and the BSes stay stuck in dysfunction and co-dependency.
Third, we are all anonymous, although personally I couldn't care less who knows I'm on here or who my POS xhole was, so the trolls may know some intimate details but they don't know US outside of infidelity and we are not wholly defined by the infidelity we've lived through. I know I'm not. There are so many facets of what makes me who I am besides infidelity.
You do you and fuck the trolls, ok!
Wow I never looked at any of Hiram threads but I did see a few by LCL. Now im.gonna have to make a little time to read some of his (or her) stuff just so I can laugh at him. Pathetic fuck.

Justsomelady posted 2/7/2020 02:31 AM

It is disturbing. I think trolls are just really empowered by eliciting outrage and other emotional reactions - and some have an agenda/axe to grind so they have to make up scenarios to promote their version of a morality story. It does feel weird/ violating to be taken in by it.

nscale56 posted 2/7/2020 02:49 AM

Thank you liesworemedown. I always thought he was writing fan fiction (my preferred term ).

Marie2792 posted 2/7/2020 05:17 AM

Hello my friend. I just jumped in after a little over a day of not reading so I’m just catching up. I don’t remember the exact poster but probably the same you mentioned. A few weeks ago I was reading a thread and there was no timeline, details didn’t align. I think most of us jump right into help mode, such as yourself, and we don’t give it a thought because we were there or still could be to some degree.

Don’t let the idiots take away your safe space. You’re a valued member here and someone I am glad to call my friend. In five years here I can count on one hand the members which have popped up and been suspect...and still have a few fingers left.

Glad to hear your son is back to business. I hope that he continues to recover well!

Lalagirl posted 2/7/2020 07:05 AM

I kinda thought Buzzy was a troll-or at least an ass.

ASSTROLL