SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

After seeing confirmation of more than one troll on this site last night, I actually had trouble going to sleep.

I understand it is impossible for the mods to know if a new member is a troll or not and everyone is given a fair shake until the jig is up and they are exposed. I guess I am both bad at spotting them, though I do have suspicions about one in particular, and apparently some part of me still believed there are people with integrity. We are advised often not to tell our WS's about SI in order to keep it our safe space. A place to pour our hearts out. Dig to our deepest pain and emotions. Share our stories. Gain strength and support by being here. SI has been that place for me for 4 years next month as I am approaching my DDay anniversary and my anxiety levels have been high.

I have been an open book and honestly the troll issue has left me feeling betrayed. Being fed lies, strung along into giving advice, and for what. To waste time, energy and effort. To open up to an OP with the hopes of helping them and commiserating with them to find out they weren't who they presented themselves to be and find it was all bullshit. It made my skin crawl and I find it downright creepy.

I don't know what would possess someone to invest time here and present as both a BS and a WS under different memberships. Nothing better to do? Data mining for a book? Feeding some sick fetish of stringing along people in real pain? It's abhorrent and reprehensible.

I highly doubt I'll be posting and going into details anymore. If I need advice I'll turn to the friends I have made here, my therapist, and friends IRL. I think unfortunately aside from members who have been here for quite some time and whom I believe to be genuine, there will now be the same side eyed skepticism I have dealing with my WH's infidelity.

To the trolls,

We are not here for your fucking entertainment. You want to make up stories? Be a writer? Then get the hell off this site and go be a writer. You may also want to seek professional help because there's something deeply unsettling about you taking advantage of and basically mocking people in REAL pain and situations.

Congratulations. You have made me further question people's integrity in this world, as if I needed that. Damn you and your lies.

Thank you for posting this MBB. It's something that has always made me particularly twitchy. And it's frankly disgusting on so many levels.

Can you specify who was a troll? I’ve wondered a time or two and I find this deeply concerning — although I really don’t give a damn who knows about my WW’s affair or the details of it.

MBB, don’t let a$$holes get you down. The advice given to the troll could have been helpful to someone who was actually in a similar situation. Don’t allow a couple of bad actors to cut you off from a source of support.

..I too spent time responding to this troll.

All I can say now is "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE"

...and FUCK YOU AGAIN. Watch out for that karma bus... it's coming for you!!!

smy

((((MBB)))))

I almost wrote about this several times, but didn't know how to put my thoughts on "paper" - you expressed it perfectly.

But please, MBB, don't let a few trolls dissuade you from posting as you always have. We are still strangers on the internet. And maybe the advice given, even for a sick demented troll, will help someone who may be going through something similar.

Truth be told, I felt a little "taken" and embarrassed for not knowing this "person/persons?" was a troll especially given how long I have been a member. So good on MH and the mods for not only figuring it out, but for letting us know (I love MH's reference on the troll's tagline). And I definitely felt betrayed, so I completely get what you're saying.

I know that you really value this site and what it has done for you, MBB (I do as well even though we have different situations) - and your advice and support to members is so awesome. I hope you will reconsider how you post in the future.

Hugs!

Lala

edited for typo

[This message edited by Lalagirl at 9:19 AM, February 6th (Thursday)]

Can you specify who was a troll?

Turns out a members suspicions about Buzzy and Discord being the same person were correct. I never replied to Buzzy because I found "him" to be arrogant, a shit stirrer and shallow AF. I did however take a vested interest in Discords thread and was concerned and trying to help. I am furious that my time and concern were wasted on some damn fool with nothing better to do.

Then moments later I read that LtCdrLost, a supposed BS and Hiram a supposed WS were also one and the same. I had admired Lost and his swift and disciplined response to discovering infidelity and attributed that to his military background.

As for whom I suspect I cannot say as it is against rules to call out a troll on the forums. But to me this person has pinged my bullshit detector pretty consistently.

Perhaps it's a good lesson for those who suspected. I had been hearing from multiple people they thought this and didn't really even consider reporting it. I probably should have said something to a mod because I could see what they were saying seemed very accurate. The first one (WS) who came here, I kept even saying to that person that their story didn't make sense. I can do better next time.

I honestly assume most posts that write dissertation length musings on just about everything but what actually happened to them or the ones who act decisively because vague "military/cop" are fake, 99% of humans don't react like that regardless of training, that 1% are bad romcom authors and trolls.

write dissertation length musings on just about everything but what actually happened to them

Yeah - it always makes me wonder when someone has a ton of puff-chested *advice* to throw around here, yet we never hear about their own experience with infidelity.

MBB please don't change how and when you post. Your posts are often relevant and have helped me more than once. I would hate for some dicknuts to dull your shine honey. And for new people coming in to not get to 'know' you like us older-timers do would be a crying shame.

And OMG thank you. I fuckin knew Buzzy was full of shit. I knew it knew it knew it. Glad to know my bullshit detector is still tuned up.

Maybe we could start a go fund me page and raise some money for Buzzy. That way we could buy him a bridge. I firmly believe that every troll should have his very own bridge.....muhhahahahahaha.

MBB please don't change how and when you post. Your posts are often relevant and have helped me more than once. I would hate for some dicknuts to dull your shine honey. And for new people coming in to not get to 'know' you like us older-timers do would be a crying shame.

Dicknuts I love that!

Thanks for the kind words. It's not that I'm nervous about anyone identifying me, I could give a rats ass about that. I highly doubt my WH would search infidelity sites trying to figure out which one I am on or my username. I always use incognito mode on my phone and log out just in case he decides to look.

What bothers me is I have been an open book. I've shared things I am going through aside from the infidelity and feel violated that some creeps sit and read and get off on other people's pain. It's sick.

I was going to be posting because my DDay anniversary is approaching and at 4 years it's still a struggle. Anxiety ramping up about that and next week being VDay (ugh!!) is adding to it.

I don't know. This was my safety net to express my most heartfelt and HONEST TRUTHS. Today I find myself doubting that which is such a disservice to the creators and mods of this site as well as the good people here who have helped me on and off site.

Ellie, I'm stealing that meme.

I was recently disturbed by a now locked thread on the wayward forum and I guess the user got banned. The worst part is she sounded like my WW in maturity and how she talked about her AP and being indecisive between her husband and her "boyfriend". Oi

[This message edited by ShatteredSakura at 10:43 AM, February 6th (Thursday)]

I was recently disturbed by a now locked thread on the wayward forum

That post showed up on several other sites this morning, it was REmoveD pretty much immeDIaTely from the other places.

Happens everywhere, sadly. I have experienced it on pregnancy websites as well as here. It makes me mad as hell, then I wonder what sad lives these people must have.

The thing that makes it harder to spot here is that a lot of people's stories ARE a little bit crazy. That's infidelity for you. So a lot of what would normally set alarm bells off in people's heads just doesn't always on this site.

My next thought after that is always that I hope people don't think I am a troll.

Onwards, forget about these losers!

Hey now, Hey now! Some of us are just very long winded! Just because I write a novel each time I post doesn't make me a troll! :P

But yeah, Buzzy always struck me as more than a little off... I engaged with "him" once and it was like engaging with a seasoned Reddit forum debater, someone who hadn't seen the outside of Mom's Basement for years. I didn't get a chance to read or engage with Discord, but I saw the name a few times.

Thanks to our mods/admin who were able to pluck the weed out of our garden.

Buzzy always struck me as more than a little off.

Yeah, I thought the same. I replied to his very first post asking him why he was here as he had quite the unconventional, upsetting agenda. Of course he denied it but given his arrogant asshole posts, false or true - I knew he was purposely trying to upset members.

Buzzy, Discord, LtCdrLost and Hiram....

Betraying the betrayed ??? !!!!!

The troll stories are terrible. However, one way of looking at your posts in response is that I believe other people are helped at times by reading these excellent responses even though they are meant for someone else. So responses to a troll may have helped a number of other people who read them.