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Tripletrouble (original poster member #39169) posted at 5:18 AM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
For those who remember me from years past, I have occasionally posted about the difficulties we had with his health. I received good advice and caring words always from my SI family. My worst fear finally became reality and we lost him. The pain is so profound and the emotions so complex I can hardly breathe. I was finally happy again after the trauma of infidelity and divorce, and now I feel completely broken. The morning he died I had not yet been notified and was buying something that was a safety device related to one of his issues. It was always like that, I lived every day trying to think of ways to keep him safe and well, for many years. Every time he called me I panicked. Every time I heard his text tone, I lunged for my phone. I knew his life was fragile, but I was in denial it could actually happen. I'm in complete disbelief that this nightmare is real.
40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.
Adlham ( member #53358) posted at 5:27 AM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
I'm so sorry. I can't imagine.
Sending you much love.
There is NO need to have that “one last conversation” with a toxic individual in your life.” The closure will come when you look deeper inside yourself. It’s not your job to fix someone when they are unwilling to fix themselves.
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 5:36 AM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
I am so terribly sorry for your loss.
Dorothy123 ( member #53116) posted at 6:14 AM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
I'm very sorry .
Many hugs.
"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.
Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 6:14 AM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
I am so sorry for your loss, Triple.
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
BraveSirRobin ( member #69242) posted at 7:36 AM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
Oh, God. I am so very sorry.
No one can prepare for something like this, no matter what medical warnings they may have received. There are places that are simply too frightening for the imagination to go.
Please try to remember how lucky your son was to have had such love and care from you, and how he would want you to feel his love in return, even now. Especially now.
You will always, always be his mother.
annb ( member #22386) posted at 10:51 AM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 11:05 AM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
I am so very sorry you lost your son. My heart goes out to you...
Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 11:45 AM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
My deepest condolences on the loss of your son (((HUGS))) 
.
What a CARING person you are...always thinking of ways to make things better for your precious child. His life...although cut way too short...must have been very fulfilling. He KNEW that he ALWAYS had unconditional love from you. That is something that sadly MANY of us go through life without.
A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)
I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!
From respect comes great love...sassylee
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 11:56 AM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
((((TT))). I can’t image the pain. Every parents worst nightmare. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry.
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 12:35 PM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
My deepest condolences to you and your family.
Please find a good grief counselor to help you and support you. It can make a huge difference.
Take comfort in the fact you did your best for him. I’m sure he felt it.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:05 PM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
((((TT)))))
Words cannot express the profound loss you are dealing with.
May you find strength and peace in his memories.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 1:05 PM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
I'm so very sorry.
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
ChewedMeUp ( member #8008) posted at 2:23 PM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
I am so, so sorry. I can't even try to imagine. Much love to you and yours.
BS - over 40
DivorcED, finally.
2 Kids
Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 2:24 PM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
Oh, my, I'm so sorry. You are a great mom, don't ever doubt that.
Me-BS-71 in May HIM-SAFWH-74 I just wanted a normal life.Normal trauma would have been appreciated.
pearlamici ( member #67631) posted at 2:33 PM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
I am so very sorry for your loss {{{Tripletrouble}}}
~Bad marriages don’t cause affairs. Affairs cause bad marriages.~
Hutch ( member #70846) posted at 2:39 PM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
As parents our greatest fear is knowing the loss of our children. I am heart-broken to read this. Please know I am thinking of you and offer prayers of comfort and healing, my love, and endless virtual hugs. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Please know I am thinking of you.
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 2:49 PM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
I have no words. ((((Triple)))) i am so sorry.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Chili ( member #35503) posted at 3:17 PM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
Oh Triple - I am so sorry to hear this news. I can only imagine how you must feel like the rug has been pulled from right under your feet.
Hold tight in knowing that your connection to him was one of deep love. And remember that perhaps your biggest job right now is to take good care of yourself. Please continue to reach out here if it feels right - we're all here thinking of you.
2012 pretty much sucked.
Things no longer suck.
Took off flying solo with the co-pilot chili dog.
"Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough" - Tony Bennett
wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 3:46 PM on Monday, November 25th, 2019
I'm so very sorry... sending hugs and love.
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
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