Newest Member: applepie123

Divorce/Separation :
I am divorced!

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 barcher144 (original poster member #54935) posted at 11:27 PM on Monday, February 1st, 2021

My attorney just called me.

The judge awarded her a bit of alimony and a little more child support that we asked for... but nothing like she had been requesting.

My attorney said that I have a really strong case on appeal because the judge made an easily documentable error. I don't know if I will go that route because the amount of alimony is relatively small ($400 per month for 7 years) compared to the cost of an appeal ($10-20K).

Time to celebrate!

I'm SINGLE!!!

Me: BH, age 48
Her: WS, age 45 (multiple EAs and PAs)
D-Day: August 30, 2016

Diagnosed with depression in December 2016, which was primarily caused by my xWW's affair and associated emotional abuse.

posts: 5142   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2016
id 8629790
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gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 11:37 PM on Monday, February 1st, 2021

Congrats Barcher.... onward!

M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived

It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies

posts: 3509   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2018
id 8629795
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DanielJK ( member #75654) posted at 11:40 PM on Monday, February 1st, 2021

Congrats.

I'm right behind you. I can't wait.

You should do something to celebrate.

Free of infidelity.

BH 51
STBXWW 53
2 daughters, 14 and 16
Filed for divorce 12/23/2020

After a year of hell I finally moved out (5/26/2021).
Divorce still pending.

posts: 455   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2020   ·   location: CT
id 8629797
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leafields ( member #63517) posted at 11:42 PM on Monday, February 1st, 2021

Congrats! That is fantastic news!

I'll tip my glass to you tonight.

Lea
Me: BW
Married 34 years, 3 DS
DDay #1: March 26, 2018, DDay #2 8/26/2019
Filed for D: 11/16/2020
D Final: 2/25/2021

posts: 705   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8629798
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fareast ( member #61555) posted at 12:16 AM on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2021

Congrats Barcher!

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 2856   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8629804
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thatbpguy ( member #58540) posted at 12:31 AM on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2021

Congrats Barcher!

It's not Barcher, it's Bachelor!

ME: BH Her: WW DDay 1, R; DDay 2, R; DDay 3, I left; Divorced Remarried to a wonderful woman

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis

As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly...

posts: 4464   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2017   ·   location: Vancouver, WA
id 8629808
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Thrownaway29 ( member #71233) posted at 1:14 AM on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2021

Congratulations!!!!

Married 1995DDY 1 EA lasted a few years I knew the whole time a swept it under the rug.DD2 July 11, 2019Trying to R but tired of the lies.DD3 8/31/20 Didn't get over the anger/ hurt fast enough for him so he decided to go back to her. Divorce finalized J

posts: 83   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2019   ·   location: OH
id 8629813
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OwningItNow ( member #52288) posted at 1:18 AM on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2021

the amount of alimony is relatively small ($400 per month for 7 years) compared to the cost of an appeal ($10-20K).

7(400x12) = $33,600

Are you sure you wanna give her this?

Nonetheless, congrats!!!

me: BS/WSh: WS/BS

Reject the rejector. Do not reject yourself.

posts: 5285   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2016   ·   location: Midwest
id 8629815
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 barcher144 (original poster member #54935) posted at 1:22 AM on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2021

7(400x12) = $33,600

Are you sure you wanna give her this?

I am still processing what the ruling and what it means.

Arguments for the appeal:

1. My lawyer thinks that I will win

2. It will save me $400 per month for a total of $33,600

Arguments against the appeal:

1. It's a $10,000 cost up front, perhaps as high as $20,000 for a total cost

2. I might not win anyway

3. I am exhausted by all of this and maybe it is worth $400 per month to just have it all end

Me: BH, age 48
Her: WS, age 45 (multiple EAs and PAs)
D-Day: August 30, 2016

Diagnosed with depression in December 2016, which was primarily caused by my xWW's affair and associated emotional abuse.

posts: 5142   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2016
id 8629816
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asc1226 ( member #75363) posted at 1:41 AM on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2021

3. I am exhausted by all of this and maybe it is worth $400 per month to just have it all end

Just like the decision to R or D, there’s no need to hurry. See how you feel in a couple of weeks.

I make edits, words is hard

posts: 393   ·   registered: Sep. 7th, 2020
id 8629819
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Buster123 ( member #65551) posted at 2:00 AM on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2021

If the attorney is so sure, if he/she is so sure could he/she put something in writing stating that if the appeal is not successful he/she will reimburse you for his/her legal fees ? if not, don't do it, like you said, filing an appeal does not guarantee you will win it. In this case I would probably take the hit and save 10-20k for sure, not to mention the hassle and burden of going through the process again.

Time to celebrate your freedom ! Barcherlor ? (pun intended).

[This message edited by Buster123 at 8:02 PM, February 1st (Monday)]

posts: 2473   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2018
id 8629822
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learningtofeel ( member #39543) posted at 2:05 AM on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2021

Congratulations! It's a weird-good feeling, isn't it?

M 1989
3 young adult kids
D-Day 4.13.13
WS (him): 7 OW over 15 years
BS (me): had no clue
D-Day 2: 10.19.19, OW#8, a co-worker
Told him I was DONE

posts: 182   ·   registered: Jun. 13th, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 8629824
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 2:07 AM on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2021

Congratulations! A toast to you and your future!

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA
Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4286   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8629825
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 2:51 AM on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2021

This made my night. I'm so happy for you Barcher.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4373   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8629838
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blahblahblahe ( member #62231) posted at 2:52 AM on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2021

Appeals are usually not that costly, if it is just a documentation or calculation error.

Congrats, I hope the fire burns less bright for you.

posts: 298   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2018   ·   location: Europe and USA
id 8629839
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skeetermooch ( member #72169) posted at 3:13 AM on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2021

Yipee!

Me: BS 50sDDay 1 - 7/2019Separated - 11/2019False Reconciliation - Spring 2020DDay 2 - 8/23/2020DIVORCED - January 2021

posts: 1174   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2019
id 8629846
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 3:33 AM on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2021

Woo hoo congratulations Barcher!

fBS/fWS(me):48 Mad-hattered after DD1
XWS:51 Serial Cheater, NPD tendencies
Together 25 years, Married 19
DD(18) DS(15)
DD1 (2008) COW, DD2 (2012) MOW, False R (2014) Same MOW. DD3 (2019) Webcam girl

posts: 8080   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8629853
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 3:52 AM on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2021

Sometimes it's better to pay more just to get it over with. Remember your time is worth something. My ex received equity re-embursement that she really didn't deserve since I purchased the house we lived in before we married with the down payment coming solely from my funds. . To fight that we would ended up paying attorneys just as much and drug the proceedings out for another six months.

posts: 839   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8629865
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 3:56 AM on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2021

Woo hoo!!!!🍺🍻🍾

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 10924   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8629867
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countrydirt ( member #55758) posted at 4:02 AM on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2021

Congratulations!!

3 adult sons
Married 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 335   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8629869
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